Hollywood Squares
If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics. These great questions and answers are from the days when Hollywood Squares game show responses were spontaneous
and clever. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should
you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or
a woman?
A. Don Knotts: Thats whats been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think
that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if hes
married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say I Love You?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
Q. What are Do It, I Can Help, and I Can’t Get Enough?
A. George Gobel: I don’t know, but it’s coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your
hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I’ll
give you a gesture you’ll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather?
A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to
get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I’m too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what’s a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist
camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I’m always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a
goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into
the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn’t neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his
head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I’ll lend him the car, the rest is up to him
If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics. These great questions and answers are from the days when Hollywood Squares game show responses were spontaneous
and clever. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should
you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or
a woman?
A. Don Knotts: Thats whats been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think
that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if hes
married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say I Love You?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
Q. What are Do It, I Can Help, and I Can’t Get Enough?
A. George Gobel: I don’t know, but it’s coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your
hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I’ll
give you a gesture you’ll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather?
A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to
get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I’m too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what’s a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist
camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I’m always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a
goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into
the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn’t neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his
head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I’ll lend him the car, the rest is up to him
On a recent flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up at the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die," she wails. Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?" For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril. They all stared, riveted, at the desperate woman at the front of the plane. Then a American Indian man stands up at the rear of the plane. He is gorgeous: tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt.....
one button at a time. .......
No one moves. ..
He removes his shirt. ......
Muscles ripple across his chest. ......
She gasps.........
He whispers: .....
"Iron this, and get me something to eat...."
one button at a time. .......
No one moves. ..
He removes his shirt. ......
Muscles ripple across his chest. ......
She gasps.........
He whispers: .....
"Iron this, and get me something to eat...."
Man and his wife are fighting, she found out he’s been cheating. He doesn’t care anymore and keeps pounding away at shots of whiskey. He passes out. As he lays there, she cuts off his penis and throws it out the window onto the street. At that moment, a mini van with a father and his 10 year old daughter are driving by. The bloody penis hits the windshield and rolls away. The stunned father hesitates, but ask his daughter, “ Honey, did you see that”? Yes daddy, what was that? That was a bug, honey. Daddy, that was a bug? Yes honey, that was a bug. Wow daddy, that bug had a big dick!
T.G.I.F. vs. S.H.I.T.
A businessman got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright "T-G-I-F".
He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T".
She looked puzzled, and repeated, "T-G-I-F" more slowly.
He again answered, "S-H-I-T". The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so, she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F".
The man smiled back to her and once again, "S-H-I-T".
The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain, "T-G-I-F" means "Thank Goodness It's Friday". Get it, duuhhh?
The man answered, "S-H-I-T" means "Sorry Honey It's Thursday."
A businessman got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright "T-G-I-F".
He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T".
She looked puzzled, and repeated, "T-G-I-F" more slowly.
He again answered, "S-H-I-T". The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so, she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F".
The man smiled back to her and once again, "S-H-I-T".
The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain, "T-G-I-F" means "Thank Goodness It's Friday". Get it, duuhhh?
The man answered, "S-H-I-T" means "Sorry Honey It's Thursday."
THE INHERITANCE
Because he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father
dies, Charles decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.
Going to a singles' bar, he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away.
"I'm just an ordinary man," he said, walking up to her, "but in just a week
or two, my father will die and I'll inherit 20 million dollars and would
like to have someone to share it with."
The woman went home with Charles,
and the next day she became his stepmother.
Because he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father
dies, Charles decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.
Going to a singles' bar, he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away.
"I'm just an ordinary man," he said, walking up to her, "but in just a week
or two, my father will die and I'll inherit 20 million dollars and would
like to have someone to share it with."
The woman went home with Charles,
and the next day she became his stepmother.
> CHINESE PROVERBS
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Man who run in front of car get tired
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Man who run behind car get exhausted.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright
organ.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Man with one chopstick go hungry.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Man who run in front of car get tired
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Man who run behind car get exhausted.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright
organ.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Man with one chopstick go hungry.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Perspective
A twenty-one-year-old young woman tells her Mother that she has missed her period for two months.
Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that she is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the swine who did this to you? I want to know!"
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and distinguished man with gray hair, impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit, steps out of the car and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the girl, and tells them, "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the situation. I can't marry her because of my personal family circumstances, but I'll take charge.
"If a girl is born, I will bequeath her two retail stores, a townhouse, a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account.
"If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account.
"If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"
At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "Then you try again."
A twenty-one-year-old young woman tells her Mother that she has missed her period for two months.
Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that she is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the swine who did this to you? I want to know!"
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and distinguished man with gray hair, impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit, steps out of the car and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the girl, and tells them, "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the situation. I can't marry her because of my personal family circumstances, but I'll take charge.
"If a girl is born, I will bequeath her two retail stores, a townhouse, a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account.
"If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account.
"If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"
At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "Then you try again."
11 Minutes
A cop is patrolling Lover's Lane when he sees the strangest thing. A young teenage couple is sitting in a car, the guy in the front and the girl in the back. The guy is reading a magazine and the girl appears to be knitting.
He stops the patrol car and walks over to knock on the young man's window. He rolls the window down.
"Yes officer?"
"I have to ask you, what are you doing?"
"Well sir, I am reading a magazine."
"What about the young lady in the backseat?"
The young man turns to look behind him. "Well, I think she is knitting a pullover sweater."
"How old are you young man?" the officer asks.
"I am 25 Officer."
"And the girl?"
The young man looks at his watch. "Well, she'll be 18 in 11 minutes."
A cop is patrolling Lover's Lane when he sees the strangest thing. A young teenage couple is sitting in a car, the guy in the front and the girl in the back. The guy is reading a magazine and the girl appears to be knitting.
He stops the patrol car and walks over to knock on the young man's window. He rolls the window down.
"Yes officer?"
"I have to ask you, what are you doing?"
"Well sir, I am reading a magazine."
"What about the young lady in the backseat?"
The young man turns to look behind him. "Well, I think she is knitting a pullover sweater."
"How old are you young man?" the officer asks.
"I am 25 Officer."
"And the girl?"
The young man looks at his watch. "Well, she'll be 18 in 11 minutes."
He wore skinny white jeans 
A TEXAS MIDGET
There was a midget down in Texas whose testicles hurt and ached almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem.
The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look.
The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him.
The doc put one finger under his left testicle and told the Midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia.
"Aha!" mumbled the doc and, as he put his finger under the right testicle and he asked the midget to cough again.
"Aha!" said the doctor again, and reached for his surgical scissors.
Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side, then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side.
The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt.
The doctor then told the midget to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt.
The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his testicles were no longer aching.
The doctor said, "How does that feel now?"
The midget replied, "Perfect Doc, and I didn't even feel it. What did you do?"
The doctor replied, "I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots."
There was a midget down in Texas whose testicles hurt and ached almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem.
The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look.
The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him.
The doc put one finger under his left testicle and told the Midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia.
"Aha!" mumbled the doc and, as he put his finger under the right testicle and he asked the midget to cough again.
"Aha!" said the doctor again, and reached for his surgical scissors.
Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side, then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side.
The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt.
The doctor then told the midget to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt.
The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his testicles were no longer aching.
The doctor said, "How does that feel now?"
The midget replied, "Perfect Doc, and I didn't even feel it. What did you do?"
The doctor replied, "I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots."
He's 31 years old
He's the CEO of Taco Bell
He owns 7 houses
He has a private jet
He has 7 $million in the bank
He's a part time poker pro
He's married to a super model
But he lives at home with mom & dad
He's the CEO of Taco Bell
He owns 7 houses
He has a private jet
He has 7 $million in the bank
He's a part time poker pro
He's married to a super model
But he lives at home with mom & dad
They call him the 4 C's
Combative
Controversial
Condescending
Cloudy
Combative
Controversial
Condescending
Cloudy
Young Doctor
A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite
embarrassed performing female pelvic exams.
To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
The middle-aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing
and further embarrassed him.
He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?"
She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was
"I wish .... I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener'."
A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite
embarrassed performing female pelvic exams.
To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
The middle-aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing
and further embarrassed him.
He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?"
She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was
"I wish .... I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener'."
WOMAN'S WORDS
WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton
WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman
wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote
control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
so I figured this was the most legal evi! l thing I could do to him"
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling
hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the
hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and
his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and
wives know the things that are important to each other."
He addressed the man, "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's
Pillsbury, isn't it?
The rest of the story gets rather ugly so I'll stop right here.
WIFE VS HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An
earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them
wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules,
goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words
women use a day... 30,000 to! a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to
repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
STUPID AND BEAUTIFUL
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and
so beautiful all at the same time. "
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you
would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to
you!
COFFEE
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew
the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because
you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you
should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that
the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him
at the! top of several pages, that it indeed says, ..... "HEBREWS"
WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton
WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman
wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote
control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
so I figured this was the most legal evi! l thing I could do to him"
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling
hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the
hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and
his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and
wives know the things that are important to each other."
He addressed the man, "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's
Pillsbury, isn't it?
The rest of the story gets rather ugly so I'll stop right here.
WIFE VS HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An
earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them
wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules,
goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words
women use a day... 30,000 to! a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to
repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
STUPID AND BEAUTIFUL
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and
so beautiful all at the same time. "
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you
would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to
you!
COFFEE
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew
the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because
you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you
should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that
the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him
at the! top of several pages, that it indeed says, ..... "HEBREWS"
