My Cousin Vinny's Picks On or Against the Yankees

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Good luck!

I'm on the Yanks too tonight, but seeing Vinny's super record when going against and no so good when backing them, makes me think that's a half way lost bet even before starting the game, lol...
 

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Jersey. Nail on the head. What an egg by the Yankee bats last night. Starting to become hard to watch this team. Vin's 'blatant homer' picks have not done well - two losers against Boston last week and now this one against the Os. The overall message is clear I think, "fade this Yankee side that can't score and make money." GL tonight. I expect to see a much more somber, less optimistic Vinny later today.

On: 7-7
Against: 9-2
Totals: 0-1

$: +5.06
 

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Thanks XS. You as well.

When I saw Vin today, he looked cold and confused, like an old man lost in the city, sitting alone in a strange diner.

What's up, I asks. You look like you were abducted by aliens and got the extra large probe.

What a fucking disaster last night, he said, shaking his head. It's criminal that we can't score for Tanaka. All he does is give us solid starts and he gets shit for it! Shit!

Time to forget it, I said. Boston's coming to town tonight.

Appearing not to hear me, "1992," Vin muttered, slurping his coffee. 1992... They haven't been this bad since 92. This team might be historic. Historic! We're in uncharted waters here and drifting toward the wrong end of history.

Drifting? I laughed. I'd say we're sailing along at a pretty good clip. Last night was torture to watch, but I couldn't turn it off.

People are drawn to disasters, said Vin, his teeth starting to chatter as he gripped the coffee with both hands. Hard-wired. It's like a message from the creator. Recognize. Appreciate life. Shit can and will and does fall apart. Makes women want to have sex. Procreate now before its too late. Ephimeral nature of being and all.

Ooookay, says I. Anyway, the Red Sox aren't falling apart.

No, they're hot, nodded Vin. They won 10 of the last 12 and Big Papi's crushing it. He always kills us. Always. (Boston hitting .298 as a team over the last 11 and Big Papi .381 3HR 4DBL 10RBI - ESPN) And we usually hit Pancetta (Or even Porcello) well, but this year he's pitching really good, Vin says. I don't understand it but I don't understand much this year. This is the first year in a long time I really feel like I don't have a good read on the team.

(That's not good, or is it? If Vin starts a downward spiral, hopefully we can get a good run of fades. As I stated at the start of the season, I just hope he'll be consistently good or bad/have runs one way or the other. -Stand)

But I been thinking, says Vin, you noticing lately that the Yanks will put up a respecatble number of runs one night and turn in a stinker the next?

Yeah, I guess so. Are you saying the offense actually brings some runners home tonight?

It's now or never, said he, trying to get the steel back in his voice. And this is the second time we'll see Pancetta in the space of a week. This is a desperate situation. Time to throw everything you got out there and try to get a win. We've gotta hit this guy and bring some runners home. If we don't win tonight, I think we're looking at a 60-win season. Joe's job is on the line. He don't make the playoffs he gets the axe.

But hasn't he already used Betances and Miller too much to pitch them again if we have the lead tongiht, I asked. You told me than he'll never throw a reliever more than two nights in a row.

You gotta ask yourself, said Vin, what the hell would he save them for? We're 7 games out already. Time to win. Now. Tonight.

You think Pineda's slider will be there tonight in the damp cold and wind? Hard to dig your fingers into the ball and get your grips in this kind of weather. You've said that before.

Maybe it'll be there, maybe it will hang up and get rocked. But I think we will score more than they do. (I had to wonder if old Vin had been drinking more than coffee at this point. -Stand) Michael actually didn't pitch bad in the game against Pancetta last week, said he. Just the bats weren't there.

So now or never huh?

Now or never, said he, slurping the coffee again and thumping his side with a rolled-up newspaper. Time for us to win. Save the season. But - watch with a chick you want to bone just in case shit hits the fan, said he.

So there you have it. Desperate men doing deperate things in a desperate time (yet again) and time for the Yanks to win and the season to be saved.

GLTA!

5/6/16 7:05pm MLB Baseball 968 Boston Red Sox -105 vs New York Yankees* (R Porcello - R must Start M Pineda - R must Start)

(For thread purposes I will record the Yanks to win for one unit, but personally I am fading this pick. Desperate men do indeed do desperate things and to me this is a Homer pink donut with sprinkles special. That said, watch the Yankees actually win, but I'm going with the better team who's swinging the hot bats. Perhaps I'm being 'square' and Vin is being 'sharp' - we shall see. -Stand)
 

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I knew this bullshit would happen. Outhit 10-6 and the cunts still win. Vin will be happy but I am decidedly not happy. Maddening game. Well, another one tomorrow.

On: 8-7
Against: 9-2
Totals: 0-1

$: +6.06
 

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Insane. Thought I was watching a hometown ump in a high school game. Well, on to tomorrow. GL Archer!
 

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Outhit 10-6?
It's not 13-6? That's what I see on mlb.com.

Yeah I posted early. Called this one atthe beginning of the ninth when Miller went in. Turned out he wasn't as lights out as I thought we was going to be. Thought I might have-reversed jinxed it when Papi got to bat with the bases loaded. Then those now-famous calls and what might have been turned into what never was.

Our bullpen is starting to look really mortal. Going against Price this afternoon, who we hit well last week and Robovaldi going for us. Sox have got to be itching for some revenge. I'll see what Vin is thinking later this morning. BOL today Jersey!
 

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Thanks XS.

Of course, Vin was smiling like the cat that ate the canary just now. I saw something I've not seen in some time last night, said he. Saw some emotion.

That one last night fell off the truck, I told him. Those last two strikes on Big Papi were clearly outside the stike zone.

That makes me even more confident in the boys today, said he. That was lady fate softening and letting us back in the house!

No Betances or Miller. They've thrown three straight days. No Ellsbury to run the bases. Chase Headley, who has a bat like swiss cheese back in.

About time for Chase to get out from under it, said Vin, and he's hit around .400 against Price over the years. Perfect timing.

Have a donut, he said, holding out a paper bag toward me.

You know I don't eat donuts.

You'll like this one.

Of course, it was a donut with pink frosting and sprinkles.

I found out what Homer means, said he. Soo Ki has the internet. (He does too, he just doesn't use it. Luddite bastard. -Stand) We're going to light Price up this afternoon and wring out some sox! Nathan's famous is going to mow 'em down! Believe! We're back in the Bronx and we're going to go on a nice run during the homestand! And Chapman is back on Monday! Everything is coming together! (He said this team might go down in history for being so bad a just yesterday. -Stand)

So there we are. Home cooking bringing us back and the dreaded B word. Everything coming together and lady luck is now on our side because of a few bad calls at the end of yesterday's game. This pick makes no sense. This pick gives me gas and makes me want to put a blanket over me have a bowl of hot soup and call my mother. Maybe these are signs that it will win. We shall see if Vin is 'sharp' for the second straight day.

GLTA!

5/7/16 1:05pm MLB Baseball 916 New York Yankees +139* <small>vs</small> Boston Red Sox (D Price - L must Start N Eovaldi - R must Start)
 

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imo boston is the side today in this game......, i cant wish you gl as im on boston here, so bol the rest of the day sir
 

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That was what I thought too ckid. But I went with the little Yankee boy on this one anyway. I'm sure he'll be on the Bombers to sweep tomorrow. It appears he's got it in his head that this homestand is going to be our time to get back in it, so I foresee a lot of ON picks and not many AGAINST. I'm the first to admit I'm not a baseball guy but it seems like any game that you've been watching a long time (for me college football and sometimes the nfl) you can feel that you're 'walking onto one'

As Vin would say, he's got a fifth sense about these things, sometimes sixth or seventh and possibly even eighth....

Or, as people say where I'm from 'even a blind hog finds an acorn once in a while!'

On: 9-7
Against: 9-2
Totals: 0-1

$: +7.06
 

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Nice record that you have a positive EV with going for the Yankees; when they have sucked so bad...the 9-2 against is impressive, but understandable given the Bronx Bombers record this year..gl; and I hope you keep posting; a fav thread of many Rx fans...
 

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Many thanks guys. Good luck with the Derby this evening!
 

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This is the start of something big said Vin when he saw me today.

Well, I knew it was coming. Here we go, I thought.

Vinny looked like he was about to jump out of his skin – like Father Christmas putting gifts under the tree after he just devoured some fine milk and cookies and gave the lady of the house a good seeing to.

The Severino curse ends tonight! The pen is intact! Chapman is back tomorrow! Confidence is a hell of a thing and shit rolls downhill and piles up the bottom! (At this point he started singing ‘Rawhide’ – it was one of his favorite TV shows when he was a kid and typically he likes to sing it after he’s had a few. –Stand)

Vin you’ve not been drinking have you?

No, well not yet, says he. After dinner when the game starts I might just have a drink or two! I might just do that!

Just making sure, says I. And take it easy with that stuff. (I have said earlier that Vin is not a drinker. He holds liquor about as well as a cup with a hole in it. Alcohol severely impacts his already questionable judgment. Last year I got him drunk at a day game and when we got back he grabbed and lifted Mrs Big Butt in the courtyard. Old Vin took a hard backhand to the left cheek but he didn’t stop smiling for a week. Both of us got called before the board. It was a bad scene (a somewhat funny one in retrospect)… but I digress.)

But this guy for Boston (Steven Wright 2-3, 1.67 ERA) tonight is a knuckler, I said. That shit is hard enough to catch let alone hit. And he’s been on a tear since last year. Except for Beltran he’s owned the Yankees. (Wright joined Roger Clemens as the only Red Sox pitchers in the last 100 years to go at least 5 innings while surrendering 2 runs or fewer and 6hits or fewer in eight straight starts. –ESPN)

When it’s on, that true, but when it’s off – meatballs, says Vin. And besides, like I said last night – lady fate has let us back into the house and I’m thinking he had his run. Time for him to get lit up! McCann’s back tonight and I think he gets a few extra bases hits to celebrate.

You’re not really going to get drunk tonight? If you are just promise me no yelling shit out the window.

Nah, says Vin. I got a Boston Crème pie from the bakery and I fully intend on eating at least half of it. I might not be able to outdrink a high school science club but I can put away the sweets like a fat Irish kid on Saint Patrick’s day. Yankees roll tonight.

So there we have it. The custardy cad has spoken. Yankees and El Mal de Ojo get it done tonight.

GLTA!

5/8/16 8:05pm MLB Baseball 978 New York Yankees -121* vs Boston Red Sox (S Wright - R must Start L Severino - R must Start)

Personally I don’t like going against curses and Severino is under the kosh bigtime. This is Vin's third straight ‘homer’ pick imo that goes headlong against any data out there. Like last night it just don’t compute.

Were those bad calls on Big Papi in the ninth the night before last really the harbinger of a winning homestand… with the boys all back in lady luck’s good graces? My heart and my head say no.

This is wrong, I think, just wrong… like putting mushrooms or avocado on a cheeseburger. But as they say, when in Rome, always have wine with your meal and don’t pee into the wind….
 

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Severino has el mal de ojo on top of him. What a piece of shit. I think he willl be a great trade/deal for his next team but he is not a Yankee.

On: 9-8
Against: 9-2
Totals: 0-1

$: +5.85
 

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I hope you enjoyed your goddamn Boston Creme pie, I told Vin when I saw him today. Our boys could no more hit those damn knucklers than Severino could get out from under the curse. Meatballs my ass. This guy is not RA Dickey.

Damn guy looked like he was throwing a whiffle ball last night, said Vin. But I thought every pitch was high - where you want a knuckler to be 'if it's high let it fly!' I don't know how they couldn't hit them, I swear. Aaahhh, I should have picked us to lose.... damnit. (Like most of us, Vin can cap the hell out of a game after it's over. -Stand)

Vin lit a cigarette and put on his best 'deep thoughs' face. I guess everyone was too confident, said he. (No, just Vin. -Stand) Severino actually pitched a good game after that first inning home run. 3 runs in 6 innings is not bad at all. What gets me is this - why even pitch to Papi? Just walk him. Look at that Cubs-Nationals series. What happened? The Cubs walked Bryce Harper every time he came up to bat and they swept the series. Why you keep throwing to a guy that kills you almost every game is beyond me.

Well, time to let it go, I said. The champs are in town tonight. Royals and old man Chris Young (1-4, 5.76 ERA) on deck for a four-game set.

Champs? Last year we owned those bastards, said Vin. (14-8 since 2014.) I can't believe Young's still pitching. If we had CC on the hill tonight it would be a no-brainer.

But we don't. We got Ivan Nova. (1-1, 5.14 ERA)

No one's really sure what to expect from Ivan tonight, says Vin. I think the guy's going to step it up, though -- not just go through the motions filling in for CC. He puts in some quality starts Joe's got to think about putting him in the rotation and moving El Mal de Ojo back into the pen. Question is - will the boys put some runs across the plate for him?

But haven't you told me that facing a good knuckleballer gives any offense (especially ours) a hangover, I asked.

A lot of times it does, Vin replied. Throws your timing off. Might take the first half of a game or a whole game to get it back. But it's not like getting out of rhythm could hurt our guys too much, said Vin. And Young is really bad and gives up a lot of homers. Good thing for us the Royals offense has been as bad as ours, said Vin. They're averaging like 3 runs a game. They're right beside us at the bottom of the league in runs scored.

Nova is 2-1 in 3 starts against KC but carrying a 6.61ERA, I said. Our best home run/extra base hitter (ARod) isn't playing. Beltran and Tex have been awful recently. And your favorite Royal is averaging .389 his last 10 games. 4-9 with a HR vs Nova in the past, I said of Eric Hosmer. A few other Royals with less than 5 ABs have hit Ivan well too.

Shit-face on first base, growled Vin. Goddamn ugly bastard -- can get beat most pitchers with his looks. Shit can hit, no denying that. But I really think Ivan will put forth a strong effort and we'll give a lead to the bullpen - and we'll see Chapman close his first game tonight. I don't feel as confident as I did last night but -

Vin, I interrupted. We lost last night. In fact, we got a damn shoeing.

But we're gonna win tonight, he snapped. We've got the hoodoo over this Royals team. This is gonna be a 6-inning game. You wait and see. Yanks take the opener.

So there we have it. An ambitious background player from the pen gets his chance at a starting role on center stage opposite an old veteran who is "really bad," a hope only a fan could have that our anemic offense will produce and won't have a knuckleball hangover and the return of a prodigal son (well, not really, but it sounds better than 'guy that got suspended for because he might or might not have given his girlfriend a smack.')

Homer vs Hosmer with the Yankee Stadium hoodoo in full effect. How can we lose? How indeed. I'm very afraid we can and will find a way.

GLTA!

5/9/16 7:05pm MLB Baseball 912 New York Yankees -135* vs Kansas City Royals (C Young - R must Start I Nova - R must Start)
 

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