My Cousin Vinny's Picks On or Against the Yankees

[stander]

Girardi gave that game away. Left Tanaka out there too long. You'd think the SOB would be smarter with satellite dishes like the on's he got on the sides of his head... I thought Vin's pick was crazy enough to work until this crap.... Goes to show you coaches/managers is all sports just do inexplicable shit sometimes. Motherfucker Ortiz. This one hurts.

Boston didn't win by double digist but win they did. I say the Yanks get swept. Let's see if Vin goes into a Homer shell or mixes it up tomorrow and Sunday....

On: 7-5
Against: 7-1
Totals: 0-1

$: +6.51

 

[stander]

Math mistake in last post:

On: 7-5
Against: 7-1
Totals: 0-1

$: +6.36

 

[stander]

This morning I met Mrs. Big Butt in the foyer, who told me Vin had been screaming "take it out" like a madman though his window the night before.

You mean "take *him* out," I asked, trying to stop my mind from wondering about the things Vinny got up to that I had no idea of.

Whatever, she snipped. I already reported him to the board enough times. I do it again and he's got trouble. You tell your friend he better chill the hell out, ok? He can't be acting crazy like that here. You tell him to buy a ticket and go to the game if he wants to act crazy.

OK, I'll let him know, I says. (Of course, I had to linger and watch her walk back to her apartment. That woman's abnormally large gravity-defying butt is just a spactacle to behold, and I'm normally not a big butt guy.)

I found Vin in his usual spot this morning, papers sitting on the bench beside him but his coffee and donut hardly touched. Rough one last night, said I.

He just shook his head. We had that game, he said. Even with our anemic offensive performance we had it.

I know Vin, we should have won, I said, noticing the cigarette burns in the eyes of Joe Girardi in the various papers.

Son of a bitch, he muttered. I feel like we got Charlie Brown for our manager.

Come on Vin, said I, it's not that bad.

Not that bad, he said, his voice crescrendoing. Not that bad? Eyes now lighting up with the crazed fires of the lost. We're witched, said he. Witched! 10 of the first 20 hitters reached last night and we get two runs?? That's almost not possible. It can't happen! Our pitchers got to just about throw a perfect game to get a win! Come on! What kind of shit is that!?

I've read you're never supposed to bet against trends, saif I.

Horse shit, Vin growled. Desperate men do desperatre things.

Shit here it comes I thought.

We're going to beat Pancetta tonight. (Porcello - Vin likes to call him Pancetta. Doesn't even rhyme...) We've had success against him in the past. (Not that much, he's 5-4 vs NYY in 11 starts) and even though Pineda's had a slow start he's been good at Fenway (3-0 1.42 ERA last three.) He's going to find the movement and accuracy/location on his fastball tonight!

Vin, it's going to be in the 40s tonight with a 7-12 mph wind going toward the monster, I told him. Did you actually read those papers or just burn them with cigarettes?

Desperate times, desperate men, desperate plans, he hissed. If Joe is smart (which time and time he's proven he might not be -Stand) he'll throw the kitchen sink at thsi game as will be boys, said Vin. This is ourchance not to get swept. Because tomorrow we face the left hand of darkness again, personified in David Price, and we're going to get taken to the woodshed on national TV. National goddamn TV. We gotta win tonight.

You should start getting the donuts with the pink frosting and sprinkles, I told him.

What, he asked, screwing up his face. You think I'msome kind of weirdo? I done a lot of shit inn my life but I ain't never gotten up to no funny business, said he.

That's not what I was taklking about but just stop yelling shit out your window, I said. People are starting to think you're crazy.

You know she really loves me, said Vin.

I don't think she does, said I. I hope lady luck hasn't had enough of your crap as well.

I shall visit my new Korean princess this afternoonsaid Vin. She's a fortunne teller to you know.

She know anything about baseball, I asked.

Oh yes he said with a wide grin. She knows when to dig in, when to wind up and when to release.

So there it is. Yanks in a desperation play to avoid the sweep --- as this is their last chance given the prophesied beating of Biblical proprtions coming up tomorrow night.

GLTA!

4/30/16 7:10pm MLB Baseball 973 New York Yankees +115* vs Boston Red Sox (M Pineda - R must Start R Porcello - R must Start)

Saturday extra - from Vin's all star highlight reel:

 

[AllAboutTheBenjamins]

[h=1]Wallace MatthewsESPN Staff Writer [/h]

The Yankees got some "tough love" from manager Joe Girardi after Friday night's 4-2 loss to the Boston Red Sox. According to a source, Girardi addressed his team in a voice loud enough to be heard outside the steel door of the Fenway Park visitors clubhouse. Girardi's agitation with his team, which has lost 3 in a row, 7 of their last 10 and sits in last place in the AL East with an 8-13 record, was confirmed by a player and a coach, neither of whom would speak on the record. Asked for specifics, one of the clubhouse sources shrugged and said, "We've been losing." Girardi refused to confirm he had spoken angrily to his team but when asked if he uses the tough love approach said, "I've given them plenty of that."

 

[stander]

Good! I think he should sit everyone and bring an entire team up from triple A and make the bastards watch them play! GL tonight!

 

[stander]

What a collective human shit by these goddam overpaid bums. Absolutely embarrassing. But they feel no shame. Can't wait to see what Charile Brown has to say at the presser tonight.
Tomorrow night he's got another humiliating defeat on deck (watch the cunts win, that would be funny.) And we go to Charm City Tuesday and the O's always start the season hot and this year is no exception.

Don't get me wrong Vin has done well so far but I really think he's gone against his better judgment the last week. In our conversations he gives reasons to go against the boys but he takes them anyway.

Still a very small sample size but so far his "against" plays seem like a MUCH better risk than his "on" plays.

After all, he is as big a Yankee homer as you can get.

On: 7-6
Against: 7-1
Totals: 0-1

$: +5.36

 

[stander]

Tomorrow night's pick as per Vin earlier today:

5/1/16 8:05pm MLB Baseball 928 Boston Red Sox -148* <small>vs</small> New York Yankees (N Eovaldi - R must Start D Price - L must Start)

Bring the pain.

GLTA!

 

[stander]

Well, the boys made a game of it but the end result was the same. Maybe this day off will help them. Oh wait, Luis "the cursed one" Severino is on the hill Tuesday night in Baltimore.... we shall see.

On: 7-6
Against: 8-1
Totals: 0-1

$: +6.36

 

[XSPower]

Nice hit on Boston last night my friend

 

[stander]

Thanks XS and thanks for posting the public consensus information. Much appreciated. GL this season!

 

[stander]

Vin was lost in thought when I saw him today, looking out a window at the rain.

It should be clear in Baltimore for the game tonight, says I.

I know, said he. Gotta wonder if at this point the bums are hoping for rain. Worst start to the season that I can remember, and I don't remember too good sometimes. (??? -Stand)

It might rain a bit before the game but they'll get it in. Mid-60s and 80% humidity, said I. Think that will help Luis grip the ball better and get the monkey off his back?

You could think that, said Vin, taking a sip of Joe and not taking his eyes off the clouded window. I just keep replaying that Texas game in my mind. Hail the size of golf balls and the umps didn't even delay the game. And the kid gets absolutely shelled. El mal de ojo on top of him.... I can't start believing he'll shake it until he shows me something.

Bats are heating up though, I said. That last game with Boston - we really made a game of it. 7 runs is kind of a break-out performance considering how bad our offense has been.

Can't disagree there, said Vin. And I can't believe Boston got a home run of Betances for the second straight game. Kid's coming down to earth after that

scorching start to the season. Suddenly the strongest link in our chain isn't looking invulnerable.

The O's caught the injury bug, that's got to help us, I offered. Their closer is gone and so is their short stop.

Sure they'll miss both guys, said Vin. Maybe Britton closing more than Hardy, but Showalter is good - in April and May anyway - he'll make sure the gaps those guys leave get covered. The O's definitely have the advantage at the manager chess match. (Or course Vin would likely say Forrest Gump would outdeul Girardi in a battle of wits. -Stand)

And what's more, said Vin, the Os starter tonight, Chris Tillman, has been great so far this year. (2-1 3.24ERA 2 runs allowed over 12 2/3 innings with 13 Ks in last two starts. -ESPN) And who needs a closer if the other team can't score?

At least Tillman's not a lefty, I said.

Yeah, thank fuck for small favors.

You ask your new fortune teller princess about the game when you went to see her yesterday?

Ah, I don't think she knows beans about baseball. Told me a bunch of malarkey - literally. She said if you dream about poop and it touches you, then it's a

sign you're coming into money.

Well? Did you dream about poop?

I don't know. But I did need to use the bathroom really bad when I got up today, said he.

So take the Os tonight then?

That's what the signs say, said Vin.

5/3/16 7:05pm MLB Baseball 916 Baltimore Orioles -118* vs New York Yankees (L Severino - R must Start C Tillman - R must Start)

GLTA!

 

[gamerecognizegame]

GL today Stander!

 

[stander]

Thanks Game! You as well.

 

[indiana]

Stander...........BOL with all your action tonight...........indy

 

[stander]

Thanks Indy. El Mal de Ojo still over Luis and the Yankee bats in a big way. Two errors from Sev covering first!? I'm thinking Vin is on to something. Maybe Luis pissed off the wrong woman, etc but whatever he did it's major and it might not be of this earth. Bats 2-20 with men on.

On: 7-6
Against: 9-1
Totals: 0-1

$: +7.36

 

[stander]

Sounds like ARod might be out for a while. MRI on right hammie and Joe not optomistic.

 

[AllAboutTheBenjamins]

vin's loss is our gain

$$$

thanks for posting, stand

 

[stander]

Hitting coach, said I when I saw Vin. You think the boys might need a new one?

They got TWO, he said not looking up from his paper. And the only thing they can really do is tell you to drop a shoulder more or alter your stance of grip - stuff like that.

Surely that kind of stuff makes a big difference, I said. Otherwise teams wouldn't pay hitting coaches.

Well as some point, said Vin looking up, hatred and frustration welling up in his voice. At some point you gotta put the blame where it belongs - on the men swinging the bats, and we just lost the one guy in the lineup that's shown he's capable of hitting more than a single.

Yeah, ARod's probably out for the rest of May, said I.

What the fuck do these guys do after a game, growled Vinny, the vein in his forehead starting to pulse like he was trying to drink a milkshake through one of those fast food straws. What do they act like - it didn't happen? What the hell we all saw just didn't happen? 'Bad day at the office Chuck''Well that's the way it goes sometimes fellows' 'Unlucky today Luis' 'It's OK we all make the same error twice in a game sometimes' for fuck's sake!

El Mal de Ojo, I said.

He needs to call that girl up and make amends, snapped Vin. It has to be a woman! Has to be! No other force on this earth can put a man in front of lady fate's back hand like a woman scorned.

What do you think about the Big Man facing the Os rookie tonight, I asked.

Only a couple of Yankees have even faced Wilson (he threw 3.5 scoreless innings against the Bombers last year in relief. -ESPN), and those guys have no more than 2 AB's. Multiple players hitting over 300 against CC especially Trumbo who crushed them last night (also Jones, Reimold and Machado). And CC has a bad history at Camden Yards. (0-5,5.64 ERA in his past 8 starts there, 2-5 with a 5.06 ERA in the last 11 vs the Os. -ESPN)

Vin pushed away his newspapers in disgust. I dreamed about a damn cat last night - a white cat. I grabbed it and wouldn't let it run away.

Well that sounds positive... that's good, right?

Soo Ki says white cats symbolize problems. She said I was holding on to my problem and not letting it go. Told me a bunch of other crap about colors and stuff but the only thing that stuck was that damn cat.

I guess you could always watch something else tonight. Hockey's on. It's the playoffs.

Yeah, Vin laughed. I'll do that. And I'll stop throwing money away on women too while I'm at it. We both agreed that was definitely something that would never happen. What's what money's for, shrugged Vin.

The streak keeps going, said he. Take the O's. A loss Yankee loss tonight would be the first seven game losing streak to the O's in a decade. The fact that it hasn't happened in so long might well be the reason it will happen.

Betting on one streak and betting against another. Can't argue with that logic.

GLTA!

5/4/16 7:05pm MLB Baseball 968 Baltimore Orioles -124* vs New York Yankees (C Sabathia - L must Start T Wilson - R must Start)

 

[stander]

Going to go ahead and call this one and go to bed. Looks like we backed the wrong trend. I hope this game isn't the harbinger of a homer streak. It may well be. I can almost hear the little nut screaming for joy that the tide has turned. We shall see.

On: 7-6
Against: 9-2
Totals: 0-1

$: +6.12

 

[stander]

When I saw Vin today he was wearing his Yankee cap and jacket inside out and eating ice cream and donuts, making a royal mess all over his newspapers.

You look like a demented nine year old at a birthday party, said I. And I can see why that thing you had with the lady doctor this winter year didn't last long.

He finished his donut and strawberry ice cream sandwich and lit a cigarette. It's all genetics, said he. I'm strong as a horse. (A thin, wiry, funny-looking horse that many times does and says things that make no sense. -Stand) And I enjoy the death stares I get from all the fuckers my age passing by. Fuck 'em!

Big night last night?

The biggest, he said smiling. I think we finally turned the corner! (Here we go. -Stand)

Yeah, great, I said sarcastically.

Hey - the O's left lost of guys on last night. They should have put up at least 3-4 on CC. it's like the evil spirits in our bats somehow went into theirs.

It sure seemed that way, said I. Anyway, that game's over. We got another one tonight.

Yes, he said, his eyes lighting up. The mighty Tanaka on the hill! Hopefully, the bats stay hot but we shouldn't need 7-8 runs tonight if Tanaka put in his usualy strong, steady performance. He has given up some homers to the big O bats but I think he'll be well prepared and won't make the same mistakes he did in previous outings. One of the well-known strength of the Japanese character is their dogged attention to detail and constant preparation. Prepare prepare prepare! Detail detail detail! he growled, shaking his fist.

Vin calm down, said I. That's the sugar talking.

He took a breath and sat back, cigarette clenched in the corner of his mouth. Be prepared, said he. Be prepared, those Japanese say.

You're main-lining. That's the boy scouts, I said.

Well I'm sure the Japanese say it too, said Vin. I hear their businesses have meetings to plan their meetings. (Actually, this is true - he heard it from me. Sometimes, there will be several planning meetings before the 'actual' meeting to ensure there is no conflict and everything goes smoothly (on the surface anyway). -Stand)

The Baltimore pitcher doesn't look bad, I said.

He's not, said Vin. He's actually thrown the ball well since he got off the DL (0-1, 2.45 ERA, opp bats .175 last 11 innings) but the evil spirits are now in their bats and out of ours. We shall win tonight, leave the evil spirits in Charm City and be ready when Boston comes calling tomorrow night.

So, there we are. Rubber game in Charm City, homer sugar-high from junk food augmented by liberal amounts of caffeine and tobacco, preparation and detail, and the turning of the tide.

GLTA!

5/5/16 7:05pm MLB Baseball 915 New York Yankees -106* vs Baltimore Orioles (M Tanaka - R must Start K Gausman - R must Start)


Sounds like Vinny's pulling another desperate homer on us. I need to start tracking these "desperate homer" plays.... The two against Boston in the first series failed. Let's see how this one does.

It worries me that the Yankees scored 7 runs last night (basically like scoring 18 for a normal team) and have Boston on deck tomorrow (I don't even know if look-ahead is a thing in baseball but these are my college football instincts kicking in.) But Vin's been good and it's hard not to back Tanaka. Let's go Bombers. -Stand