My Cousin Vinny's Picks On or Against the Yankees

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Vin likes the A's tonight.

4/19/16 7:05pm MLB Baseball 917 Oakland Athletics +159 vs New York Yankees (E Surkamp - L must Start, M Pineda - R must Start)

Surkamp is a lefty and the Bombers have not beat (or even hit well) a lefty yet this year. (In recent seasons, the boys haven't done well against leftys.) "Plus, this is the first time they've ever faced the guy. Not a good omen," says he and crosses himself. "Left hand of darkness..."

"And another thing," Vin says, "Oakland is like that girl back in school that was more than willing to slut it up with the other boys but would never give you the time of day for whatever reason..." he sighs, memories of his Catholic school days stuck dating Rosie Palmer (Stander: who was/is a righty...)flashing before his eyes. "Last year it seemed like we couldn't get a win off them if we bought them dinner and got them drunk first... and then bribed the umpire to look the other way."

Also, says Vin, "the Yanks typically don't do well in game one's. I do like the boys to win this series buy don't think they'll sweep," says he, "and looking the upcoming matchups, tonight is probably the A's best chance for a win."

(Stander) A quick ESPN/MLB website check reveals the A's have played well on the road out of the gate, sweeping (swabbing) the Mariners, who just left the Big Apple with 2 of 3. Also notable - the As are coming off a 2 of 3 (home) series win over KC, so they are running hot after dropping three straight at home to of the Angels. I also remember reading that the Oakland pen will have everyone available after resting their closer in that last KC game.

GLTA!
 

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Last thing: Betances and Miller have struck out 27 of the 41 batters they've faced in 2016. The whole world is high on that now. And Vin is too. But here's the catch says he, we don't have a lead, those guys don't play. A normal person would think Joe would pitch them even if we're down 1 - to give us a chance to come back and win but given his constant harping on managing guys for the season (and avoiding the shoeing he got last year in the press for late fatigue) he might opt to sit them. So if the and can get some hits As an early lead, they've got a shot at not seeing those guys until tomorrow....
 

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Exciting game. I thought Oakland was screwed by the 7th but well.... Glad Vin pulled it out -- even though I know he hates to see the boys lose one in extra innings. Hopefully I'll get an earful tomorrow. I think he'll be on the Bombers but we shall see.

On: 5-2
Against: 5-0
Totals: 0-1

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Vin is running hot....love this thread.

Played first 5 on TOR tonight, + laid the juice on Yankee game, including RL. Assuming was loser, checked balance and quickly realized both NY plays were also 1st 5 innings....Rarely happens when a mistaken play hits!! :ohno: 2.7 to win 2u ^!:

GL rest of the week Stander!
 

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You too P. Gotta love it when lady luck chooses to give you a ride. We were both fortunate last night. The lady is a fickle girl, and may decide she's done with you at any time. So, while we are in the saddle, let's ride as hard as we can. And if the tide should turn against us and we hit an iceberg, let's have the sense to abandon ship and swim the other way.

But for now, we go with the flow!
 

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As I thought would be the case, Vin like the Yanks to bounce back tonight.

4/20/16 7:05pm MLB Baseball 970 New York Yankees -141 vs Oakland Athletics (K Graveman - R must Start N Eovaldi - R must Start)

"We had three innings last night where we knew their chances to score were slim and none," says Vin. "And we couldn't get a damn runner home. It's maddening. The boys have gone 6 games averaging less than 3 runs a game. And the slumps," he says rubbing his temples, "my God the slumps... Somethings gotta give," says he.

"And now we're in the cellar - last place. This is our wake up call. This is our cold sober moment of clarity the morning after a late night with a bottle of left-handed hootch and Rosie Palmer -- when we look around and see what we've become. Last place!" (Dear God, the humanity! -Stand)

"It does something to you," says Vin, his voice trailing off... He lights up a smoke, and takes a long look at the willowy Korean lass walking down the street. She disppears into the noonday sun and he exhales, suddenly full of piss and vinegar.

"You pick yourself up and scream out the open window," he yells, "I'm going to get you back you Oaktown sons of bitches! You can't do this to me! Then you're out the door, baseball bat in hand, like a blast of dirty thunder!"

Also, says Vin, we hit rightys well after getting stiff-armed by a lefty. Some of the boys have a history with the As starter - Gravesen - and they've hit him pretty well. Of course, the As have an even better record against Eovaldi and that's scary, I'll admit says Vin. (See MLB site. Hard to beliee the Bombers are favs after reading everything there -Stand)

"I just think Nathan's Famous has turned the corner," Vin says. "I like him to throw a strong outing. This isn't a high-tension situation like the Toronto rubber game. And he actually did well for most of the game. He just had a brain fart with Donaldson and that blew up everything. Anyway, historically April is his best month and Eovaldi should get his first win tonight."

So be it. Shame, the moment of clarity, something's gotta give, the trend, and Nathan's Famous turning the corner. All these things we hold self-evident... at least the shame part anyway. The others - we shall see.

GLTA!
 

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As I thought would be the case, Vin like the Yanks to bounce back tonight.

4/20/16 7:05pm MLB Baseball 970 New York Yankees -141 vs Oakland Athletics (K Graveman - R must Start N Eovaldi - R must Start)

"We had three innings last night where we knew their chances to score were slim and none," says Vin. "And we couldn't get a damn runner home. It's maddening. The boys have gone 6 games averaging less than 3 runs a game. And the slumps," he says rubbing his temples, "my God the slumps... Somethings gotta give," says he.

"And now we're in the cellar - last place. This is our wake up call. This is our cold sober moment of clarity the morning after a late night with a bottle of left-handed hootch and Rosie Palmer -- when we look around and see what we've become. Last place!" (Dear God, the humanity! -Stand)

"It does something to you," says Vin, his voice trailing off... He lights up a smoke, and takes a long look at the willowy Korean lass walking down the street. She disppears into the noonday sun and he exhales, suddenly full of piss and vinegar.

"You pick yourself up and scream out the open window," he yells, "I'm going to get you back you Oaktown sons of bitches! You can't do this to me! Then you're out the door, baseball bat in hand, like a blast of dirty thunder!"

Also, says Vin, we hit rightys well after getting stiff-armed by a lefty. Some of the boys have a history with the As starter - Gravesen - and they've hit him pretty well. Of course, the As have an even better record against Eovaldi and that's scary, I'll admit says Vin. (See MLB site. Hard to beliee the Bombers are favs after reading everything there -Stand)

"I just think Nathan's Famous has turned the corner," Vin says. "I like him to throw a strong outing. This isn't a high-tension situation like the Toronto rubber game. And he actually did well for most of the game. He just had a brain fart with Donaldson and that blew up everything. Anyway, historically April is his best month and Eovaldi should get his first win tonight."

So be it. Shame, the moment of clarity, something's gotta give, the trend, and Nathan's Famous turning the corner. All these things we hold self-evident... at least the shame part anyway. The others - we shall see.

GLTA!
well written stander... i wanna turn the page to this book!!!! you a writer/gambler!!??
 

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Thanks for the kind words guys but.... Vin laid a massive egg tonight, as did the Yankee bats and Nathan (will never be) Famous.

So let's see - our self-evident truths for the evening: Shame - lots of that to go around, Something's gotta give - yes, our dignity (I feel like the school slut just got out of my car at the point and drove off with someone else), the trend (that Oakland owns us), and Nathan's Famous turning the corner (down the boulevard of broken dreams.) Why not put the kid in the pen, says I - he's great for a few innings. Just seems to lose focus etc after 3 or 4 and the meathead starts serving up meatballs. No stealth that kid. He's flat out all the time. That only works for so long....

And that reversed call just broke any hope.... and Didi giving the As an out... Geez.

Joe looks like he just kissed his sister at the post game presser.... mea culpas all around and voice shaking, apologizing to the press, saying he had to use the bullpen personnel in ways he hadn't planned... as good as calls Didi out... frustrated with stranding so many... He's shaken. Looks like a jakey bastard panhandling near the liquor store during the morning commute for that half pint of Georgi (vodka that makes geiger counters go off and is cheaper than a bottle of water.)

Anyway, this one might stick with them for a bit IMO. But I know fuck-all about baseball.

Hill (another lefty) v Severino tomorrow. Will Vin make a Homer play for the boys not to get swept at home or will he pick the boys to get fisted by the left hand of darkness??

Honestly I'm as pissed about paying all that juice as anything. The Yanks are always overvalued, but I knew that going into this.... Remember - win the series and win the week. That;s what we;re going for. And hopefully we'll be streaky - so everyone can generally hop on or off or know when it;s a good time to fade. As I've always said, someone who posts consistent winners is obviously an asset to the forum but someone who posts consistent losers is just as valuable.

But for now, my hope is that Vin gets his head right, shakes it off, has a smoke and visits the Korean joint before bed. We need him fresh for tomorrow!

On: 5-3
Against: 5-0
Totals: 0-1

$: +5.53
 

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Joe channeled his best Charlie Brown for the NY Press Corps after last night's game, head in hands and/or looking down as he meekly offered answers, explanations, and apologies to their baying calls, cackles and howls -- each more shrill and maddening than the next.

He wasn't the only one out of sorts. Vin had watched the whole game and was also was in a fit to be tied. sleep eluded him, said he when I saw him this morning. Heavy bags hung from his sunken eyes gave him the look of someone who was trying to shake off the ghosts of what might have been and hold back the visions of what might be. We talked over the myriad of offensive problems the boys had last night and I got to A-Rod going down looking. That was the pointy stick that really poked the bear where the sun don't shine.

"The pitcher just threw a damn cutter inside! You know the next pitch is probably going to be a fastball down the pipe!" hisses Vin, his voice rising to that octave only a truly distressed fan can hit. He pointed at me, half-eaten jelly donut gripped tightly in hand, like an old man threatening a group of badly-dressed teenagers:

"Jesus Christ, if I know it he should know it! And what does he do?! What does he dooooo?! Stares right at it! Right at it as it goes by for strike three! Goddamnit! I mean what's the average ERA of the AL so far?? (3.63 -Stand) We're not even close to that lately... You can't score 4 runs you have no chance win, am I right?" (-NYY run avg 1st 12 games: 4.41 | 1st 4 games: 8.75, Last 8 games: 2.25 -Stand)

Vinny's voice fell and he relaxed his grip on the donut, putting it down next to a half empty cup of black coffee, corrupted by sugar and grease.

"If we just would have gotten a few in the first when we had men on, we would have won that game ten to nothing.... now... now this shit is on top of us. We've got to get out from under it and we keep getting glimpses, but..." He sighed heavily. "I can't stand it, I just can't stand it..." said he, shaking his head at the floor and channeling his best Charlie Brown.

"We haven't beat a lefty all year and I don't see it starting tonight," my friend told me as he sat back down. "Besides, we've got Severino and he's got issues. He's got talent for miles but has been serving up hits like hot dogs so far this year (though mostly singles -Stand). "He needs to fly the hell back to D.R. and see a Brujo," growls Vin.

"This is getting out of hand. People are starting to think someone put el mal de ojo on him. And that makes sense to me," says Vin throwing up his hands. "There can only be some kind of supernatural explanation at this point... Hell, the whole damn team needs to see a Brujo! Sure couldn't hurt. Now -- take Oakland tonight and leave me alone."

And that was where we left it.

4/21/16 7:05pm MLB Baseball 917 Oakland Athletics +119* vs New York Yankees (R Hill - L must Start L Severino - R must Start)

GLTA! 4 more games this week including tonight!
 

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And so, the prophecy is fulfilled and the sweep complete. I expect Vincent to be in quite a state tomorrow and anticipate quite appalling behavior. We shall see.

On: 5-3
Against: 6-0
Totals: 0-1

$: +6.72
 

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Joe actually stood up straight and looked the NY press corps in the fangs after last night's stinker, his expression unwavering and his statements canned verbal whitewash. "I didn't sit Didi as punishment... we've just got to work through this... etc." This looks more like the hollow man we know and love said Vin in a text last night. (He's not a big Girardi fan -Stand) Bastard should have a desk with NYC MTA management whenever he gives up baseball. (No one is a fan of the MTA. -Stand) Anyway, if things keep going like they are, that might be sooner than anyone thinks, said Vin.

Actually, the most notable postgame quote came from someone who didn't even play - our man Didi. "[The baserunning blunder in game two] wasn't a mental mistake," said he with a straight face. "It was just stupid." (Somewhere up there, Yogi is smiling. -Stand)

I saw Vin this morning sitting before a large pile of newspapers and periodicals of different shapes and sizes -- and he had something wrapped around his neck stuffed into his jacket. Alarm bells went off. This is not good, thought I.

"Good God man," I said getting his attention. "Is that an ascot? Where do you even get one of those nowadays?"

He smiled and shook his head, and as I got closer, I saw it was just a towel. Vin must have yelled himself hoarse last night watching the Bombers' hapless efforts. He's done this before so I shouldn't be surprised. I think it was the newspapers that threw me at first. Vin usually gets the Daily News and the Post every morning but when he's stressed he tends to go overboard. Way overboard. And he doesn't come back to the boat willingly more times than not.

"Vin what are you doing," I asked. "You know this is no good. What the hell have you got here - Jesus..." There were free dailies of all descriptions, several flyers, a few magazines and a halal menu. "What the hell is this - a 'Village Voice'- they don't even have a Sports section, for chrissake." (They do, however have 20+ pages of ads for escorts, massage parlors, phone sex numbers and other assorted naughtiness. Norman Mailer's original vision this modern
incarnation is not.)

"I thought you were over this, man" says I.

"Never," he croaked. "These things comfort me in this - my time in the valley of darkness. They are my cigarette in a non-smoking building, my styrofoam cup of joe sitting in a park surrounded by hipsters drinking lattes throwing their triple-priced biodegradable cups in a recycling bin, my calzone and beer at a lunch with people eating salads and drinking bottled water, my -" his face contorted wildly and he went into a fit of coughing, spraying the open "AM New York" with bile.

After getting his breath and downing some coffee, he took a long look at the besmirched newsprint in front of him and closed him eyes. "There is a great disturbance in the force," he rasped. (-Vin liked Star Wars a great deal as a kid but hated everything after 'Return of the Jedi' -Stand)

"A mighty hurler, stronger from being remade, (M Moore, lefty, 1-0 2.95ERA -MLB website) will take the hill against us tonight, in this our time of greatest weakness (Worst start since 2005, .212 last 8 games, .101 with runners in scoring position last 9 -MLB website). He wields the left hand of darkness (Yanks haven't beat a left yet this year) and has the power of his bats behind him. (12 runs last game v Boston, teams scoring double digit runs typically do well next game -Stand)

"The big man will put up a brave fight for 4 innings or so but to no avail. His bats will not be there for him, and so will he be overtaken and vanish in a hail of enemy singles and doubles. The enemy has seen him before and have most times beat him up pretty damn good." (-last May though he did throw 6.5 scoreless innings against them...)

Vin shook his head and closed the newspaper. "Take Tampa tonight," he wheezed.

"You should take it easy tonight, " said I. "Don't get too excited during the game."

"I should go out east this weekend. Forget the ballgames. Get a girl. Spend a few days in the sun." He pushed the pile of newspapers away in disgust (but kept the Village Voice for some reason).

"So you'll be inside watching the game as usual," I asked him.

"Of course," said he. "Who doesn't like a bit of sado-masochism?"

Who indeed.


4/22/16 7:05pm MLB Baseball 965 Tampa Bay Rays -105* vs New York Yankees (M Moore - L must Start C Sabathia - L must Start)

GLTA! 2 more games this week after tonight, and the boys play in Texas Monday.
 

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Goddamnit. We lost but I can hear that Guinea bastard laughing. Texted me in the 8th he was on his way out east. Who was with him, only he and the Village Voice know...

Well, I'm sure we'll get a pick tomorrow. I feel some homerism coming on. Baseball is a maddening game. I see why the poor fellow is a few bricks short of a load....

On: 5-3
Against: 6-1
Totals: 0-1

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As predicted, Vin is on the Yanks today:

4/23/16 1:05pm MLB Baseball 916 New York Yankees -132* vs Tampa Bay Rays (B Snell - L must Start M Tanaka - R must Start)

Tampa's kid is a lefty and is coming off a great record in the minors - and he's a strikeout pitcher - not a contact guy -and that's scary, (1-1 with a 2.51 ERA and 21 strikeouts in 14 1/3 innings over three starts with the Bulls, showing his 2015 rise from Class A to AAA in which he went 15-4 with a 1.41 ERA and 163 strikeouts in 134 innings -MLB site) but he's making his debut against our number one in Yankee stadium, -- gonna a be some nerves there, says Vin. (This line looks suspiciously low. I expected it to be higher. At least we're not going to be risking a heavy amount of juice. - Stand)

Besides, texts Vin, Ellsbury stealing home last night was like an exorcism. And then him getting a 2-run double in the 8th to seal it - the evil spirits left our bats and there was joy in Mudville. We won! (Well hoo-fucking-ray... -Stand) All of this said he, was the turning of the tide.

But Vin, you always preach that the Yankees can't hit leftys, I textd him. and they've never seen this guy - no one has. There's not even any film of him!

Relax, texted back Vin, they've seen enough damn lefties lately they ought to be able to manage today. Thunder from the east and the presence of Yankee stadium will win us the day. You'll see. (Tanaka is 2-0 with a 2.70 ERA in 3 starts vs TB. Held Evan Longoria to only a double in 8 at-bats. Logan Morrison is 1 for 9 w 5 strikeouts v Tanaka. But 14 of the 16 hits TB has had against him have come in the Bronx. -MLB site)

The man from Japan will get us to the pen, and our bats will get us a lead. Then it'll be lights out like last night, wrote Vin.

OK Vin, so let it be written so let it be done, I texted him. Have a good day out east and make sure your new girlfriend didn't take any of your stuff this morning.

I could almost hear him dropping the phone and running to do a check.... Anyway, weather today will be a cloudy 70 degrees with a 70% chance of showers in the Bronxx. Humidity 58%. Not ideal baseball weather but hopefully the boys will play with renewed vigor and bring this one home to put the tread at 3-2 this week.

GLTA!
 

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As predicted, Vin is on the Yanks today:

4/23/16 1:05pm MLB Baseball 916 New York Yankees -132* vs Tampa Bay Rays (B Snell - L must Start M Tanaka - R must Start)

Tampa's kid is a lefty and is coming off a great record in the minors - and he's a strikeout pitcher - not a contact guy -and that's scary, (1-1 with a 2.51 ERA and 21 strikeouts in 14 1/3 innings over three starts with the Bulls, showing his 2015 rise from Class A to AAA in which he went 15-4 with a 1.41 ERA and 163 strikeouts in 134 innings -MLB site) but he's making his debut against our number one in Yankee stadium, -- gonna a be some nerves there, says Vin. (This line looks suspiciously low. I expected it to be higher. At least we're not going to be risking a heavy amount of juice. - Stand)

Besides, texts Vin, Ellsbury stealing home last night was like an exorcism. And then him getting a 2-run double in the 8th to seal it - the evil spirits left our bats and there was joy in Mudville. We won! (Well hoo-fucking-ray... -Stand) All of this said he, was the turning of the tide.

But Vin, you always preach that the Yankees can't hit leftys, I textd him. and they've never seen this guy - no one has. There's not even any film of him!

Relax, texted back Vin, they've seen enough damn lefties lately they ought to be able to manage today. Thunder from the east and the presence of Yankee stadium will win us the day. You'll see. (Tanaka is 2-0 with a 2.70 ERA in 3 starts vs TB. Held Evan Longoria to only a double in 8 at-bats. Logan Morrison is 1 for 9 w 5 strikeouts v Tanaka. But 14 of the 16 hits TB has had against him have come in the Bronx. -MLB site)

The man from Japan will get us to the pen, and our bats will get us a lead. Then it'll be lights out like last night, wrote Vin.

OK Vin, so let it be written so let it be done, I texted him. Have a good day out east and make sure your new girlfriend didn't take any of your stuff this morning.

I could almost hear him dropping the phone and running to do a check.... Anyway, weather today will be a cloudy 70 degrees with a 70% chance of showers in the Bronxx. Humidity 58%. Not ideal baseball weather but hopefully the boys will play with renewed vigor and bring this one home to put the tread at 3-2 this week.

GLTA!



Stander I think you missed your calling (writer) very entertaining in a good way. Enjoy the read every day....thanks
 

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Thanks for the kind words Volfan. That game was very exciting and I feel lucky to have won. I think Vin was right in the end - it was the ghosts of Yankee stadium - even though they've been moved a bit - that propelled that 9th inning homer into the second tier. The kid from Tampa should have won his debut. Except for that slip up in the first he pitched a gem. But he will forever remember the ghosts of New York - who took away his first major league win that (I think) he earned well. Baseball as America. He didn't win but he didn't lose either, and he will be back again to fight another day. God bless 'im.

Rubber game tomorrow. Vin will get up early to come back to the city for mass. It's baseball season in New York -- even the most lapsed of Catholics will not dare miss church if he or she wears pinstripes over their heart.

I'm going to say that if the sun comes up, he will be on the Yankees -- but maybe he'll surprise us.

GLTA and see you guys tomorrow.

On: 6-3
Against: 6-1
Totals: 0-1

$: +6.68
 

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IMO the evil spirits have not left the Yankee bats and they still suck against lefties and by God we were soooo lucky to win today. Does it seem like the boys go down looking more than other clubs and don't fight off pitches.... That is all. My 2 cents....
 

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