Dear Kidman two-thirty-two,
what the fuck is wrong with you?
the rubber room is here for jokes and laughs,
to post stupid vids, and look at
and ass.
I realize now we didnt properly welcome you,
and try to make you feel like one of the crew
You made me remember back to school boy days,
where kids would snitch if not invited to play.
So we must assume you also still shit your britches,
eat your boogers, and cry like the other bitches.
You probably still suck on lolly pops,
when you grow up you wanna be a cop.
.
what the fuck is wrong with you?
the rubber room is here for jokes and laughs,
to post stupid vids, and look at
and ass.I realize now we didnt properly welcome you,
and try to make you feel like one of the crew
You made me remember back to school boy days,
where kids would snitch if not invited to play.
So we must assume you also still shit your britches,
eat your boogers, and cry like the other bitches.
You probably still suck on lolly pops,
when you grow up you wanna be a cop.
.
an ode to my granola bar
full of fiber and rich in taste
not a single bite do i waste
blueberry, chocolate chip,
all the stuff that makes me shit
i'll eat you when i'm on the go
i''l eat you when times are slow
i'll eat you in the shade, i'll eat you under the sun
i'll even eat you when i'm on the come (gambling related come.....needed a RR worthy rhyme)
on those days when i skip a meal
and a spike in my belly i do feel
i tear you open and i eat you down
and a couple hours later i squeeze out a nice round brown
full of fiber and rich in taste
not a single bite do i waste
blueberry, chocolate chip,
all the stuff that makes me shit
i'll eat you when i'm on the go
i''l eat you when times are slow
i'll eat you in the shade, i'll eat you under the sun
i'll even eat you when i'm on the come (gambling related come.....needed a RR worthy rhyme)
on those days when i skip a meal
and a spike in my belly i do feel
i tear you open and i eat you down
and a couple hours later i squeeze out a nice round brown
Turkey chili
Hormel it is
pretty much a can full of stanky brown jizz
sure tastes good when you are drunk
but later on you know theres going to be some funk
I feel the presure building and I need to fart
I let one rip and it's turkey chili shart
made it to the bathroom but it's all for naught
cause I had the turkey squirts before I could squat
Hormel it is
pretty much a can full of stanky brown jizz
sure tastes good when you are drunk
but later on you know theres going to be some funk
I feel the presure building and I need to fart
I let one rip and it's turkey chili shart
made it to the bathroom but it's all for naught
cause I had the turkey squirts before I could squat
the "pop champagne" beat:
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A tongue or a finger to me it matters not
throw off your inhibitions, slip it in, yeah baby thats hot
A dildo, some buttbeads, a turkey leg, a root..
the Canadian inside me wants to know what it's all aboot
So oil it up or spit on it, do what you got to do
you'll fist me if you love me and help me extract my goo
dont tell my friends and if you do I'll say your lying
and if any of your friends ask fuck them bitches for prying
And if we ever breaking up and you start running your trap
going around telling everyone about your fingernail and my crap,
then you better remember this face bitch when you lie down to nap
and dont be suprised when you wake up with your ass full of caps
throw off your inhibitions, slip it in, yeah baby thats hot
A dildo, some buttbeads, a turkey leg, a root..
the Canadian inside me wants to know what it's all aboot
So oil it up or spit on it, do what you got to do
you'll fist me if you love me and help me extract my goo
dont tell my friends and if you do I'll say your lying
and if any of your friends ask fuck them bitches for prying
And if we ever breaking up and you start running your trap
going around telling everyone about your fingernail and my crap,
then you better remember this face bitch when you lie down to nap
and dont be suprised when you wake up with your ass full of caps
An Ode to NES by NES (moved for historical documentation purposes)
You started as a zero and needed a hand
so you asked for a hero and got set up with the man
He ruled you and schooled you on the etiquette of the post
how to slay fat bastards, oh many a degenerate did he roast
And he was generous enough to allow you to be a part of his polls
which take more than public opinion but a piece of our souls
making mortals transparent like a page to the light
he astounded you with his poetry, his prose, and insight
He taught you to have fun with your poo and to fear not the cock
how to violate fruit and how to jack off in a sock
he asked a bitch some questions, and spared not the rod
he even made death eats a cracker believe there was a god
He gave IAG a vagina and made PBR taste like corona
He made PO69 love his pets and gave Wilheim a boner
He made music into poo and inspired a whole generation
made KGB feel loved and that faggot JackHerer a rubberroom sensation
He made steaktartar feel pretty, and Whalewager feel less imbred
and left Hunter S Thompson in hospital bed
Yes this legend of a poster, this god of a man
has shown what he's made of, again and again
If you need a good post, one thats sure to impress
do like everyone else and steal your ideas from NES
You started as a zero and needed a hand
so you asked for a hero and got set up with the man
He ruled you and schooled you on the etiquette of the post
how to slay fat bastards, oh many a degenerate did he roast
And he was generous enough to allow you to be a part of his polls
which take more than public opinion but a piece of our souls
making mortals transparent like a page to the light
he astounded you with his poetry, his prose, and insight
He taught you to have fun with your poo and to fear not the cock
how to violate fruit and how to jack off in a sock
he asked a bitch some questions, and spared not the rod
he even made death eats a cracker believe there was a god
He gave IAG a vagina and made PBR taste like corona
He made PO69 love his pets and gave Wilheim a boner
He made music into poo and inspired a whole generation
made KGB feel loved and that faggot JackHerer a rubberroom sensation
He made steaktartar feel pretty, and Whalewager feel less imbred
and left Hunter S Thompson in hospital bed
Yes this legend of a poster, this god of a man
has shown what he's made of, again and again
If you need a good post, one thats sure to impress
do like everyone else and steal your ideas from NES
all right rob, i'm gonna try to help you out, make some rhymes up on the fly.....it is up to you to arrange them to the beat......i'm even going to try to make a chorus (or whatever that thing is in a song that repeats)
My name is Rob, Rob Funk, and I make a living out of hitting the lines
I ain't doin this for fun and I ain't here to put bread on your table
if you don't know what you're doin' then I'm a rob your ass blind
but if you're gonna play the game with me then you damn sure better be able
I don't wanna hear you crying and I don't give a damn 'bout your excuses
it's always been the rule that the softest line loses
My name is Rob, Rob Funk motha fuckas, if you see me coming you better step aside
I been here more than a day, I can spot your soft lines
Moonlighting as a Moderator on the RX Forum
I don't care to hear 'bout your luck cause I've heard it all before
"My name is Rob, Rob Funk (motha fuckas), I'll boot your thread
My name is Rob, Rob Funk (motha fuckas), I'll destroy your lines
My name is Rob, Rob Funk (motha fuckas), I'll get inside your head
My name is Rob, Rob Funk (motha fuckas), and I'm havin a good time"
You better holler at your girls, cause if you're dealin with me you won't have em long
I can spot a sucker a mile away, I've done it a hundred times before
I've got you sweatin' in the middle of the night, afraid that all your numbers are wrong
and when you get up, you fear that it's the repo man knockin at your door
cause I own you motha fucker, I own your ass
tell that repo man to get in line cause you gotta pay me in cash
and when I get home, Soonerdawg's started a mundane thread about the color of the snow
off to the Rubber Room that shit goes
Cause I'm Rob, Rob Funk (motha fuckas), don't think I didn't recognize your shit in the newbies thread
Off to internet oblivion with that shit
with no more than a click of the mouse and a shake of my head
"My name is Rob, Rob Funk (motha fuckas), I'll boot your thread
My name is Rob, Rob Funk (motha fuckas), I'll destroy your lines
My name is Rob, Rob Funk (motha fuckas), I'll get inside your head
My name is Rob, Rob Funk (motha fuckas), and I'm havin a good time"
At the end of the day when I'm counting your cash
and all your cuties come hollerin at me
and I'm sippin and I'm grabbin that ass
open your eyes and maybe you'll see
but I doubt it 'cause all the losers are the same
it's only the faces and beer guts that ever change
And when I've had my fill I'll log into the RX
see what's up and laugh at your threads
Don't think I don't know that ain't you
wondering how the hell that number could lose
"My name is Rob, Rob Funk (motha fuckas), I'll boot your thread
My name is Rob, Rob Funk (motha fuckas), I'll destroy your lines
My name is Rob, Rob Funk (motha fuckas), I'll get inside your head
My name is Rob, Rob Funk (motha fuckas), and I'm havin a good time"
My name is Rob, Rob Funk, and I make a living out of hitting the lines
I ain't doin this for fun and I ain't here to put bread on your table
if you don't know what you're doin' then I'm a rob your ass blind
but if you're gonna play the game with me then you damn sure better be able
I don't wanna hear you crying and I don't give a damn 'bout your excuses
it's always been the rule that the softest line loses
My name is Rob, Rob Funk motha fuckas, if you see me coming you better step aside
I been here more than a day, I can spot your soft lines
Moonlighting as a Moderator on the RX Forum
I don't care to hear 'bout your luck cause I've heard it all before
"My name is Rob, Rob Funk (motha fuckas), I'll boot your thread
My name is Rob, Rob Funk (motha fuckas), I'll destroy your lines
My name is Rob, Rob Funk (motha fuckas), I'll get inside your head
My name is Rob, Rob Funk (motha fuckas), and I'm havin a good time"
You better holler at your girls, cause if you're dealin with me you won't have em long
I can spot a sucker a mile away, I've done it a hundred times before
I've got you sweatin' in the middle of the night, afraid that all your numbers are wrong
and when you get up, you fear that it's the repo man knockin at your door
cause I own you motha fucker, I own your ass
tell that repo man to get in line cause you gotta pay me in cash
and when I get home, Soonerdawg's started a mundane thread about the color of the snow
off to the Rubber Room that shit goes
Cause I'm Rob, Rob Funk (motha fuckas), don't think I didn't recognize your shit in the newbies thread
Off to internet oblivion with that shit
with no more than a click of the mouse and a shake of my head
"My name is Rob, Rob Funk (motha fuckas), I'll boot your thread
My name is Rob, Rob Funk (motha fuckas), I'll destroy your lines
My name is Rob, Rob Funk (motha fuckas), I'll get inside your head
My name is Rob, Rob Funk (motha fuckas), and I'm havin a good time"
At the end of the day when I'm counting your cash
and all your cuties come hollerin at me
and I'm sippin and I'm grabbin that ass
open your eyes and maybe you'll see
but I doubt it 'cause all the losers are the same
it's only the faces and beer guts that ever change
And when I've had my fill I'll log into the RX
see what's up and laugh at your threads
Don't think I don't know that ain't you
wondering how the hell that number could lose
"My name is Rob, Rob Funk (motha fuckas), I'll boot your thread
My name is Rob, Rob Funk (motha fuckas), I'll destroy your lines
My name is Rob, Rob Funk (motha fuckas), I'll get inside your head
My name is Rob, Rob Funk (motha fuckas), and I'm havin a good time"
If you need to free yourself from this troubled world
stick you're tounge in the ass of a pretty girl
steal a big fat nut from a rabbid squirrel
eat a bowl of shit and try not to hurl
go deep sea diving and find a pearl
stand on you're tippy toes and do a twirl
When you're feeling down don't despair
life is a playground, not all is fair
just do the things that I've described
and you will be revitalized!
stick you're tounge in the ass of a pretty girl
steal a big fat nut from a rabbid squirrel
eat a bowl of shit and try not to hurl
go deep sea diving and find a pearl
stand on you're tippy toes and do a twirl
When you're feeling down don't despair
life is a playground, not all is fair
just do the things that I've described
and you will be revitalized!
I want to tell you a story of dirty sex and disgrace
buttplugs and bondage, balls in your face
its just a life story, of a man they call sooner
and the collection of relics one might find in his pooper
From class rings to watches, and random trinkets of bling
have all at one time been stuffed up his thing
And of course by "thing" im talking about ass
like the time he sat on a jar, and had to pull out the glass
it looked good on film, but getting the blood out was a bitch
ruined a perfectly good rug, and those ass stitches itch
He had his handle deleted, after admitting he was gay
and opted for prison sex when offered a deal by the D.A.
Well now he is back, to his old rubber room antics
although most of the crew left in a panic
But the poet corner's spirit lives on, in the corner of our hearts
and a fairy gets his wings, everytime steaktartar sharts
buttplugs and bondage, balls in your face
its just a life story, of a man they call sooner
and the collection of relics one might find in his pooper
From class rings to watches, and random trinkets of bling
have all at one time been stuffed up his thing
And of course by "thing" im talking about ass
like the time he sat on a jar, and had to pull out the glass
it looked good on film, but getting the blood out was a bitch
ruined a perfectly good rug, and those ass stitches itch
He had his handle deleted, after admitting he was gay
and opted for prison sex when offered a deal by the D.A.
Well now he is back, to his old rubber room antics
although most of the crew left in a panic
But the poet corner's spirit lives on, in the corner of our hearts
and a fairy gets his wings, everytime steaktartar sharts
hey nes, you ole dick bandit, nice to see you back
i see you're finally out from under that tico's nutsack
it's nice to come home from psych class
and see your decrepit old ass
thought you had left me like a dried up ole whore
the rhymes and solemn poetry had become no more
now you're back and flinging the same ole shit
makes me happy as a baby with a mouthful o' tit
christmas is coming so let's be in a festive mood
don't care how many dicks you suck under the light of the moon
and as far as that steak tar tar goes
i hear he likes it best when you rub dick on his toes
i see you're finally out from under that tico's nutsack
it's nice to come home from psych class
and see your decrepit old ass
thought you had left me like a dried up ole whore
the rhymes and solemn poetry had become no more
now you're back and flinging the same ole shit
makes me happy as a baby with a mouthful o' tit
christmas is coming so let's be in a festive mood
don't care how many dicks you suck under the light of the moon
and as far as that steak tar tar goes
i hear he likes it best when you rub dick on his toes
