[ Cut to PA Governor’s Mansion, Harrisburg, PA]
Chief of Staff (CoS): hey boss, unfortunately I have some bad polling news
GOV: Give it to me straight
CoS: Well, we are running about 3 points behind the Republican challenger
GOV: How is this possible? We have a good record on jobs, the budget, roads and bridges…?
CoS: The Republicans are running dirty tricks, saying you are in too deep with lobbyists and are unlikable
GOV: Dammit, maybe it is time to shakeup the campaign, Chief
CoS: It could work, it is a risky move though. Voters may see you as panicking.
GOV: It is time for a bold move. Time to get ahead of this misinformation and pull away in this race
Cos: What are you thinking boss?
GOV: I’m thinking about the guy who righted the ship in that 2002 Auditor Generals race!
Cos: Boss, that was over 14 years ago.
GOV: Yes, but he was genius! And, he apparently won a bunch of poker tournaments, so he has a good poker face!
CoS: Where has he been these last few years
GOV: If my sources are correct, he quit working and made 32,000 plus posts on a gambling forum
CoS: Whoa, that’s a lot of posts…
GOV: …he did it in under 5 years!
CoS: Why do we want a guy who didn’t work in politics for 7 years
GOV: Because that’s is what winners do! Get me the vittard, now!
CoS: whatever you say, sir…
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When I think, "who do they tap to run statewide campaigns?" (at any point!!) the first thing that comes to mind is the guy who didn't work in politics for 7 years because he was out enjoying this "incredible life" telling an endless string of lies on a gambling forum. Oh and the Borgota. Don't forget the Borgota too.
Fucking idiot.