Confessions Thread (Post yours here)-

[pocketrockets]

I needed to get away from the friends I was hanging out with and grow the fuck up. The Military allowed me do that.

A forum full of degenerate gamblers policing everyone and only 5 confessions in a confession thread. Couple of bed wetters and a panty sniffer. Lol Bunch of fucking Saints around here.

Hey hey hey I said she was fucking hot man... she still is... I remember once I gave them a kitty cause I couldnt bring it home, she loved it, kitty peed on top of her, she changed her jeans in front of me, no undies, o man... I get a boner to this day still.

I never said I was decent, I'm loyal and fierce, not decent.

 

[Bourn]

Hey hey hey I said she was fucking hot man... she still is... I remember once I gave them a kitty cause I couldnt bring it home, she loved it, kitty peed on top of her, she changed her jeans in front of me, no undies, o man... I get a boner to this day still.

I never said I was decent, I'm loyal and fierce, not decent.

PR anyone who says they haven't sniffed a few panies here and there is either gay or a liar. I was just making a point bro

 

[Bourn]

And for the record my "good friend" was an asshole who would hit on my girlfriends and had it coming.

 

[MikeB]

And for the record my "good friend" was an asshole who would hit on my girlfriends and had it coming.

Haha,,,haha

 

[pocketrockets]

PR anyone who says they haven't sniffed a few panies here and there is either gay or a liar. I was just making a point bro

Hehe I'm not offended... just needed an excuse to share more details of said lady

 

[Enfuego]

Most that join military need help, gov at it's finest.

In some cases yes, in some cases nope. Using the word "most" is off.

 

[Phonebook]

showed up to the airport in Montreal drunk as a skunk from the night before ready to go back to Costa Rica. super sloppy stumbling drunk. ready to pass out drunk. didn't know if they were going to let me on the flight drunk.

i go to check my baggage at the ticket counter and they give me a ticket but tell me the conveyor belt is broken and i will need to carry my own bag to the gate and they will handle it there. i thought they were fucking with me but decided to go along with it. super paranoid at this point i drag my bag to the gat (1/4 mile easy) and sure enough they took the bag. i was an hr early and decided to sack out there at the gate and take a little nap before getting onto the airplane.

i lay down...go to sleep

shit gets real when someone starts shaking me...trying to wake me from my slumber. i crack my eyes open and realize there is about 50-75 people looking at me wide eyed. I do an inventory on the situation and realize that my hand is down my pants and i was, moments ago, either vigorously scratching my balls or jerking off in my drunken sleep.

 

[Bourn]

showed up to the airport in Montreal drunk as a skunk from the night before ready to go back to Costa Rica. super sloppy stumbling drunk. ready to pass out drunk. didn't know if they were going to let me on the flight drunk.

i go to check my baggage at the ticket counter and they give me a ticket but tell me the conveyor belt is broken and i will need to carry my own bag to the gate and they will handle it there. i thought they were fucking with me but decided to go along with it. super paranoid at this point i drag my bag to the gat (1/4 mile easy) and sure enough they took the bag. i was an hr early and decided to sack out there at the gate and take a little nap before getting onto the airplane.

i lay down...go to sleep

shit gets real when someone starts shaking me...trying to wake me from my slumber. i crack my eyes open and realize there is about 50-75 people looking at me wide eyed. I do an inventory on the situation and realize that my hand is down my pants and i was, moments ago, either vigorously scratching my balls or jerking off in my drunken sleep.

Awesome!! Funny shit

 

[RenoChazz]

Most that join military need help, gov at it's finest.

Maybe it was like that 50-60 years ago, wasn't that way when I went in. I didn't need any help with anything, I joined because I wanted to do something that was going to be challenging. Bourn just needed to grow up, which isn't any different than "most" young people. Sounds like Everfresh is just throwing stones, thinking he has some sort of moral high ground here.

 

[harrington]

The Shrink helped me get paid when WSEX was stiffing people. I received a check for my full balance and cashed it and it cleared. About a month later they sent me another check for the full balance again. I got paid twice and cashed both checks. Still can't believe it happened....

 

[pocketrockets]

The Shrink helped me get paid when WSEX was stiffing people. I received a check for my full balance and cashed it and it cleared. About a month later they sent me another check for the full balance again. I got paid twice and cashed both checks. Still can't believe it happened....

loooooool

 

[pocketrockets]

I once got hired to work for a company but never made it to day 1, called to resign the following day as I had a better offer...

3 years later I get a call from a private bank, that I have a savings account with 3k sitting on it and I need to close it down, go and pick the $. I received this call on December 30th last year, at the bank I found out the company paid for 2 months salary before realizing I wasn't supposed to be on payroll...

That lucky strike saved my ass

 

[$tinky]

I used to poop in my pant on a regular basis back in elementary school.
One day I was so happy to make it throughout the day w/o pooping and on top of that I was
selected to dust the erasers( a coveted job as you got to go outside by yourself to do the job)

On the way back I decided to run backwards and fell, at the same time pooping my pants.

I pulled my pants tight on the way to the babysitters house (h.s. girl with little nephew, older brother and mother in house)
hoping other kids
would not see the bulge in the buttocks area.(walked from school to BS house)

By the time I got to babysitter my shit had kinda pressed flat and semi dried in my pants.

I would sneak away for minutes at a time to scrape some of the poo off into the sink
where it just so happens that a pair of underwear from the Bsittter little nephew whose name was BooBoo was located.

At some point later in the day everyone was blaming boo boo for stinking
and I was glad to get away with the crime.[/QUOTE

this is fn funny!

 

[MotorMouth]

I used to poop in my pant on a regular basis back in elementary school.
One day I was so happy to make it throughout the day w/o pooping and on top of that I was
selected to dust the erasers( a coveted job as you got to go outside by yourself to do the job)

On the way back I decided to run backwards and fell, at the same time pooping my pants.

I pulled my pants tight on the way to the babysitters house (h.s. girl with little nephew, older brother and mother in house)
hoping other kids
would not see the bulge in the buttocks area.(walked from school to BS house)

By the time I got to babysitter my shit had kinda pressed flat and semi dried in my pants.

I would sneak away for minutes at a time to scrape some of the poo off into the sink
where it just so happens that a pair of underwear from the Bsittter little nephew whose name was BooBoo was located.

At some point later in the day everyone was blaming boo boo for stinking
and I was glad to get away with the crime.[/QUOTE

this is fn funny!

A big complement from someone named Stinky

 

[Vlad the Impaler]

Where do I start?

---I shit on the floor of a nice hotel in Chicago in the hallway because I was too drunk to find my room
----I took a complete drunk girl in college from her apt to my car who is now a Dr. Her bf emailed me telling me I had ruined the best relationship of his life and it takes a real man to lead a complete drunk girl to his car. I told him I did him a favor
-----I nutted on a passed out girl in college and then peed on her.
------I put my nutts in a girls mouth while she was sleeping
------I completely invented a job on my resume to get a past position.

-----I have had sex with approx. 250 girls
-----I've prob. had sex with 10 or so married girls

-----I told a black priest in 8th grade something mean. Not as bad as it sounds as he later convicted of child molestation. I tried to tell people he wasn't right. No one believed me

----I saw an Indian Dr. in grade school and I also went to school with her daughter. I used to tell the daughter her mom played with my nuts when I went for physical.
-----I blackmailed a girl to blow me
------I couldn't get off once when drunk so I hockered on girls back bad and act like I got off.

------I gang banged a girl with friends in a garage.

-----I shit my pants intentionally in 5th grade as I refused to use the school bathroom facilities

-------I have a great method to get random girls to send me nude pics.

 

[ScottL]

I used to brag to all my friends that I fucked Madonna in 1983. But it was really 1984.

 

[wilbur]

This should be in the Classic thread section

 

[MikeB]

Nice bump.

Hopefully some people will have some stories about Christmas

 

[RoofTop]

Dropped an upper decker at my ex gf parents bathroom in high school

 

[guitarjosh]

Once I stuck a remote control fart machine under a blind guy's chair and spend about 30 minutes hitting the button on the remote every few seconds.