your #1 sexual achievement?

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Officially Punching out Nov 25th
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Angelina Jolie once yelled my name while having sex with Brad...
 

AWOL
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I call it "The Marathon." Maybe it wasn't more than just the one chick, but she paid for the hotel room and that show ran from check-in in the evening to check-out the next morning. She took a load four times, 1. Mouth & Swallow, 2. *****, 3. Tits, 4. ***** again. Started with some slutty lingerie and strawberries with chocolate, at one point took a break to eat some delivered pasta at 2am, then between 3 & 4 we gameplanned and essentially ran a walkthrough practice of the fucking to come. I distinctly remember hearing "Oh I like this one, why don't we just do that now?" during the walkthrough... "The Marathon..."
 

EV Whore
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Might be a little off topic but my best achievement was payback.

I use to work 3rd shift running cnc machines and we had alot of cycle time so we would disappear for hours if everything was running fine. Well i had this guy that was a total asshole that use to fuck with me all the time , so one nite when he left i got into his lunchbox and seen he had a chipped beef sandwich with mayo on it so i stuffed it down my pants and went to the bathroom stall and sat down and jacked off and shot my load all over his mayo on the sandwich and snuck it back into his lunchbox.

Believe me thier is nothing better than sitting down at the lunch table and watching a dickhead eat a sandwich that you just shot a load all over. From then on anytime he would fuck with me i'd just laugh.

Dude, there are very few offenses that justify nutting in a dude's food. IMO, you do NOT fuck with a guy's food except under extreme circumstances. Him being a dick doesn't count.

You are a sick piece of shit and hopefully you get what's coming to you. :WTF:
 

New member
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Oct 16, 2006
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Dude, there are very few offenses that justify nutting in a dude's food. IMO, you do NOT fuck with a guy's food except under extreme circumstances. Him being a dick doesn't count.

You are a sick piece of shit and hopefully you get what's coming to you. :WTF:

Did you ever stop to think that he was getting what he had coming to him??
Didn't think so.
 

New member
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Dec 13, 2007
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Might be a little off topic but my best achievement was payback.

I use to work 3rd shift running cnc machines and we had alot of cycle time so we would disappear for hours if everything was running fine. Well i had this guy that was a total asshole that use to fuck with me all the time , so one nite when he left i got into his lunchbox and seen he had a chipped beef sandwich with mayo on it so i stuffed it down my pants and went to the bathroom stall and sat down and jacked off and shot my load all over his mayo on the sandwich and snuck it back into his lunchbox.

Believe me thier is nothing better than sitting down at the lunch table and watching a dickhead eat a sandwich that you just shot a load all over. From then on anytime he would fuck with me i'd just laugh.

Yes it is a little off topic and here's a little something off topic too... you are a fucking dork and worse than that you are a pussssy.

If you were a man and the guy is fucking with you than you take a ratchet to his fucking head and show him who the bitch is... on the other hand if you are a sissy you go in the little boys room and squeeze one off all over a chipped beef sandwich.
 

Oh boy!
Joined
Mar 21, 2004
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Fucked girls in close proximity to other people several times: next room, basement, etc.

Once did 2 girls in a row at a high school party. I was bare ass naked with my ass sticking up eating out a girl and a girl came in and passed out. It was dark so she didn't notice. Her boyfriend came in while I was eating out the other chick and turned on the lights and apologized and left and the lights stayed on. Later in the basement the passed out girl said "I saw what you were doing!"

Crowning achievement was mother and daughter tag team. We developed "backrub night" and I would rub both her and her daughter's back in the dark while sampling the goodies. Fucked the daughter while giving a backrub to the mom in the bed and then fucked mom while giving the daughter a backrub in the bed.
 

New member
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I nailed the wife of a guy at work who I hate.

She was 8 months pregnant and I swear the little devil inside her was sucking my dick when I was inside her.

It was heaven I tell you.
 

PBR

Time for your Pabst test ladies
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I nailed the wife of a guy at work who I hate.

She was 8 months pregnant and I swear the little devil inside her was sucking my dick when I was inside her.

It was heaven I tell you.


Have any idea what he did to your chipped beef sandwich?
 

BBQ Stiff
Joined
Apr 25, 2007
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I nailed the wife of a guy at work who I hate.

She was 8 months pregnant and I swear the little devil inside her was sucking my dick when I was inside her.

It was heaven I tell you.

You are a sick douche bag
 

PBR

Time for your Pabst test ladies
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Got my first piece of ass when I was eight. Don't remember much about it, I was pretty drunk at the time.
 

#1 Spot
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Nov 11, 2005
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Crowning achievement was mother and daughter tag team. We developed "backrub night" and I would rub both her and her daughter's back in the dark while sampling the goodies. Fucked the daughter while giving a backrub to the mom in the bed and then fucked mom while giving the daughter a backrub in the bed.

how the fuck does that worK???

:think2:
 

For G-Baby
Joined
Oct 22, 2004
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Sounded like a crock of bullshit to me, but I've heard stranger.

So strange it has to be true.

Plus, Q is just insane in general, and one of the most genuine guys around. I wouldn't doubt anything he says, especially about sex, since he's an escort guru.
 

New member
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Crowning achievement was mother and daughter tag team. We developed "backrub night" and I would rub both her and her daughter's back in the dark while sampling the goodies. Fucked the daughter while giving a backrub to the mom in the bed and then fucked mom while giving the daughter a backrub in the bed.

Quite the disturbing mother and daughter relationship.
 

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