I was at a cock fighting match in mexico. Port stop from a cruise. Cheating was going on and I got pissed at the opposing chicken. Jumped in the ring after my bird lost and grabbed the chicken by the throat until it went to sleep.cut my arm on its razor blades in the process but it was well worth it.
first game in little league
full count, bases empty. i shoot a base hit into into shallow right. i'm so excited that i forget to drop the bat and I realize I'm still holding onto it about half of the way to first. i turn around, run back to home plate, drop the bat, and then turn around and try to sprint to first. not even close.
full count, bases empty. i shoot a base hit into into shallow right. i'm so excited that i forget to drop the bat and I realize I'm still holding onto it about half of the way to first. i turn around, run back to home plate, drop the bat, and then turn around and try to sprint to first. not even close.
I played little league in a rougher part of town, we had a kid charge the mound with bat in his hand. Lucky the ump was an adult and caught our player before he got to the mound. I love looking at all-star pictures and figure-ing out how many of those guys spent long periods of time in jail.
A few years back, I was working part time umpiring little league (WORST fuckin job in the world, especially if you suck at calling balls and strikes). Well, I SUCKED at calling balls and strikes. I even saw my buddy, working second base, roll his eyes on a couple of my calls. Anyway, needless to say I took an ass chewing from the crowd most of the game. Then in about the 5th inning there was a play at the plate...and whatever it was I called, it apparently was NOT the popular desicion with the crowd. One father in particular realllllly let me have it....so I took off the mask, turned around and said, "Oh yeah? You think I blew that call? YOU JUST WAIT TIL THE NEXT ONE.....PLAY BALLLLLL!!!"
Well, of course both coaches heard this and immediately we're on home plate hollering...to the point where I woulda tossed them, but they kinda had a beef. Now, not too many people can say they made a call and BOTH coaches came out to argue....
Anyways, they then went out to bitch at my buddy working second, I saw him mumble something to them and they quietly returned to thier respective dugouts...wondering wtf? I went out to talk to him during warmups....
He said, "Yeah, they were pretty pissed off...I told them they might wanna get over it, because you're also an off duty cop, and under your chest protector you were packing a .357 magnum."
Gotta love being an umpire...
Well, of course both coaches heard this and immediately we're on home plate hollering...to the point where I woulda tossed them, but they kinda had a beef. Now, not too many people can say they made a call and BOTH coaches came out to argue....
Anyways, they then went out to bitch at my buddy working second, I saw him mumble something to them and they quietly returned to thier respective dugouts...wondering wtf? I went out to talk to him during warmups....
He said, "Yeah, they were pretty pissed off...I told them they might wanna get over it, because you're also an off duty cop, and under your chest protector you were packing a .357 magnum."
Gotta love being an umpire...
10 years old little league. Coach always said to wear a cup and they were way too uncomfortable for me so I never used one and avoided all cup inspections. Kid was wild and threw a pitch and i check swung as it was inside and low. It hit me square in the nuts. I was down for a good 10 minutes down for the absolute count. Of course I was the only insane person not wearing a cup and everyone thought I was crazy for not wearing one.
:shocked::shocked:
My best Busch Staduim story(that I can remember) is probably when we threw a guy over the ramp leading up to the upper deck. My buddy and me threw him over the wall and he fell about 20 feet. Upon arriving at the scene(thought we had killed the guy), he was just attempting to get up and then he proceeded to pull at a piece of shit out of his pants about six inches long and said that fall literally scared the shit out of him as he was displaying the log of shit in his hand to us.
As a senior in high school, my friends and I drove 34 miles to scout a team ranked #5 in the state that we would be playing in the opening round of the sectional basketball tournament.
On the way over, I got completely smashed drinking screwdrivers. The game we were watching was standing room only in a bandbox similar to the homecourts you see in the movie Hoosiers and we had to stand behind the basket against the wall. Well, the ref made a terrible call on the hometeam and the crowd was showing their disgust greatly and the noise was deafening. From what little I remember(my friends probably can give more detail), I ran out to the free throw line and got directly into the refs face..............they obviously threw us out. We later sneaked in and watched the game behind the band curtain.
On the way home, I backed over a lightlamp in someones yard and completely destroyed it.
Can't recall much else about that evening.
A few days later, our .500 team gave that #5 team in the state all they could handle. Recall we were actually leading with a couple minutes to go in the first half and I was having close to a career game as I had surpassed my seasonal scoring average of 8.1 pts, (believe I had 9 pts at the half).......... ended with 11 or 12 pts and we got beat by 15+ points, thus putting an end to what was a misearable high school basketball career. If I were not a high school alki at the time, probably could have performed a tad better on the court.
On the way over, I got completely smashed drinking screwdrivers. The game we were watching was standing room only in a bandbox similar to the homecourts you see in the movie Hoosiers and we had to stand behind the basket against the wall. Well, the ref made a terrible call on the hometeam and the crowd was showing their disgust greatly and the noise was deafening. From what little I remember(my friends probably can give more detail), I ran out to the free throw line and got directly into the refs face..............they obviously threw us out. We later sneaked in and watched the game behind the band curtain.
On the way home, I backed over a lightlamp in someones yard and completely destroyed it.
Can't recall much else about that evening.
A few days later, our .500 team gave that #5 team in the state all they could handle. Recall we were actually leading with a couple minutes to go in the first half and I was having close to a career game as I had surpassed my seasonal scoring average of 8.1 pts, (believe I had 9 pts at the half).......... ended with 11 or 12 pts and we got beat by 15+ points, thus putting an end to what was a misearable high school basketball career. If I were not a high school alki at the time, probably could have performed a tad better on the court.
While at a Bengals game on a rare TD, I gave the guy next to me a high five, which in return knocked his beer out of his hand, and on to the girl in front of him, which knocked hers out and set like a chain reaction.
Went to buy some new beers, but only to remember there was a 2 beer max. Felt like such a douche I went and sat else where
Went to buy some new beers, but only to remember there was a 2 beer max. Felt like such a douche I went and sat else where
