So, I slept with a deaf chick this weekend

[WVU]

the eye in the anus pic comes out fine for me

 

[PBR]

Oh, ok...all I saw was a red x. Never mind

 

[OnePocket]

go back put something in her mouth or a pillow over her head

I use to have sex with this girl back when i lived in the basement of the parents house I was about 18 at the time but anyway she would always yell out woo,woo,woo,woooooooooooo the faster you went the louder this bitch got

you would think there was a train coming through and there were no railroad tracks for 30 miles.

so i would stuff shit in this girls mouth to muffle the sound down....lol

 

[G.MONEY]

How does a guy fake an orgasm?

Do you pull out and then spit in her face when she isn't looking?

One of the better lines I have read............:toast:

 

[WVU]

go back put something in her mouth or a pillow over her head

I use to have sex with this girl back when i lived in the basement of the parents house I was about 18 at the time but anyway she would always yell out woo,woo,woo,woooooooooooo the faster you went the louder this bitch got

you would think there was a train coming through and there were no railroad tracks for 30 miles.

so i would stuff shit in this girls mouth to muffle the sound down....lol

Reminds me of the locker room scene in Porkies

 

[beefdiesel]

No offense to any deaf people here, but this was one weird scene.

I met this girl through a mutual friend and everything went off without a hitch. We met for drinks and dinner then proceeded to go back to her place to watch a movie and sip some wine. We watched some old war movie with closed caption. That went over fine and we even had some interesting conversation the best that we could.

She could speak fairly well, but with that common nasal tone that you often hear from deaf people. She had no hearing at all, but was great at reading lips. I tried my best to enunciate all my syllables correctly. She noticed that I seemed to have experience talking to deaf people and I told her that I was trying hard to impress.

After polishing off a bottle of cabernet, she started to get a little cozy with me. I was ok with that as she had a smoking body that I was eager to see more of. After the light kissing and petting increased to a higher level she took me by the hand and led me to her bedroom. I was still very comfortable with all this and had no idea of the bizarre scene that awaited me.

She proceeded to undress completely and I followed suit. Her eyes did not leave my face as though she was studying my every move. This made me slightly uncomfortable, but I was 100% intent on getting the goods.

She wasted no time going down on me. She was very good at giving head and I laid back to enjoy it. All of a sudden she would stop everything she was doing so that she could get a good look at my face. At first I thought something was wrong, but I figured out she was trying to read my reaction to see if I was enjoying it. This went on for about 15-20 minutes with her getting into it and stopping to get my reaction.

After the 5th or 6th time I decided this was too much of a tease. I pulled her up and proceeded to go down on her. She was very much liking this and began arching her back and then it happened. I thought we had rolled over on her cat as I heard this strange earpiercing sound. Now, I am no amateur and have been able to produce some good sounds from women in the past, but this sound was nothing like I have heard before.

I seriously thought she was hurting or crying or dieing. It was extremely loud and extremely high pitched. She sounded kind of like a dog squeak toy. I was still hell bent on performing for her so I tried to ignore the sounds I was hearing. I even burried my face deeper and clamped her thighs over my ears to try to muffle the sound. It was no use. I imagine her whole condo thought I was murdering her in there. Her shrieks became panting shrieks and I could not take any more of it.

I stopped what I was doing and decided to proceed with intercourse. 5 seconds into it she was back to shrieking and then stopping everything to look at my face and read my reaction. Well let's just say I was barely enjoying myself and was ready to smother this deaf girl. After 15 minutes or so of this I could not take it any longer so I faked an orgasm and ended the session and went home. I feel like I am forever scarred and will not ever be able to enjoy the sounds of a woman in the bedroom.

lmao I would go back for round two with earplugs... How in the world do you fake an orgasm? I honestly have never done that in my life.:lolBIG:

 

[Illini]

Is this a Journeyman story, or did it really happen?

 

[hm2.0]

How does a guy fake an orgasm?

Do you pull out and then spit in her face when she isn't looking?

:lolBIG:

I haven't read any further but if WVU sez he hocked a loogie on her stomach, I'll be on the floor.

 

[gynecologist]

The good thing about being involved with a deaf women is they won't ever be asking you to call em.


ope:

Deaf people are really into texting.

 

[MIKEY.1TIME]

I have faked a few times before while wearing a condom.

They always know when you're faking...I'm not sure how, but they seem to know.

just tell them you used the instadry sperm kit prior to banging her so she wouldnt have to pull an abdominal muscle trying to push all the spooge out after

 

[DoubleJ]

I have faked a few times before while wearing a condom.

A couple of times that night I actually yelled at her to shut the **** up, but obviously she couldn't hear me.

Classic!!:missingte I actually did a hearing-impaired chick about 10 years ago. Hotter than hell, both body and face. Problem is, she was at the bar every Sunday I went to watching her Steelers.

I made the mistake, while drunk, of telling a few of my buddies that I put the wood to her. I took a bunch of shit for it, but it worked out well. About 6 months later, my buddy shagged her as well. :nohead:

 

[WVU]

Is this a Journeyman story, or did it really happen?

This is a true story. It happened Friday night.

 

[RoofTop]

You need to take that chick out hunting with you. Get into a bushy blind and start bangin. Make sure you got your rifle close by because the coyotes will be closing in. If you are doin her doggy style then you could use her head as a rest for the gun barrel. If you a lucky to hit one of them coyotes you can give her one of them thumbs up. It might take you a few dates but if you can teach her to retrieve them I think you might of found Mrs. Right.

When is coyote season in WV?

 

[WVU]

I am an animal lover and not a hunter sir.

I am not your typical West Virginian

 

[batemanpatrickl]

Hilarious. One of the better stories on this forum. My friend nailed a chick in a wheelchair once and that story will live on forever.

 

[WVU]

Update:

the deaf girl has been texting me the last couple of nights. She is asking me if we are going to get together this weekend. I almost feel like I should give her a pity date as shitty as that sounds. I had plans to go out with a female friend of mine and I am considering bringing her along. The problem is I already told my friend about last Friday.

BTW, my friend, let's call her Diane, (because that is her name) is a freak. A night out with the two of them will either be very interesting or a disaster, nothing in between.

 

[Mopisgood]

Update:

the deaf girl has been texting me the last couple of nights. She is asking me if we are going to get together this weekend. I almost feel like I should give her a pity date as shitty as that sounds. I had plans to go out with a female friend of mine and I am considering bringing her along. The problem is I already told my friend about last Friday.

BTW, my friend, let's call her Diane, (because that is her name) is a freak. A night out with the two of them will either be very interesting or a disaster, nothing in between.

If that deaf girl will lick an asshole, she'll eat a pu$$y. Pound 'em both at the same time

 

[BetIt]

update?

 

[VIEJODINOSAUR]

This is possibly the best thread ever started by a Mod...especially if it is true....I know TTinCo is jealous..

 

[kingbill]

nothing compares to a chick with downs

hahahahaa GSUS....I guess those titties ain't retared