The dealership!
KRAMER: Well, just one more errand and we can head back.
RICK: Actually, it looks like we’re gonna need some gas.
KRAMER: Oh? Well, how much gas do you think is in there right now?
RICK: (Looking) Well, it’s on "E".
KRAMER: You know, uh, oftentimes, Jerry - he lend me his car and I find myself in a situation where the car is almost out of gas. But, for a variety of reasons, I don’t want to be the one responsible for purchasing costly gasoline.
RICK: (Pointing out) So, you want to know how far you can drive your friend’s car for free.
KRAMER: (In the spotlight, his voice goes high) Well, I make it up to him in other ways.
/// then later
(Kramer pulls the car into a gas station and gets out)
KRAMER: Cars can go on empty, but not us humans, huh, fella? I’ll get us a couple of Twix bars.
RICK: No, no coconut for me.
KRAMER: Alright, I’ll get ya a Mounds bar. Keep the engine running.
(Rick sits back in the car a second, then hurriedly jumps out and reaches for the gas pump. Kramer pops up from behind the pump and scares him)
RICK: Ahh!
KRAMER: No, man! Not the gas!
RICK: But it needs it, Kramer! It needs it bad!
KRAMER: Do you think that this’ll make you happy? ‘Cause it won’t!
RICK: (Walking away) Ah, you can just go on without me.
(Kramer grabs him by the collar)
KRAMER: Listen to me. When that car rolls into that dealership, and that tank is bone dry, I want you to be there with me when everyone says, "Kramer and that other guy, oh, they went further to the left of the slash than anyone ever dreamed!"
(The car makes puttering noises)
RICK: Maybe we better get moving.
KRAMER: It’s good to have you back, Stan.
(Both hop into the car)
RICK: It’s Rick, by the way.
KRAMER: No time!
KRAMER: Well, just one more errand and we can head back.
RICK: Actually, it looks like we’re gonna need some gas.
KRAMER: Oh? Well, how much gas do you think is in there right now?
RICK: (Looking) Well, it’s on "E".
KRAMER: You know, uh, oftentimes, Jerry - he lend me his car and I find myself in a situation where the car is almost out of gas. But, for a variety of reasons, I don’t want to be the one responsible for purchasing costly gasoline.
RICK: (Pointing out) So, you want to know how far you can drive your friend’s car for free.
KRAMER: (In the spotlight, his voice goes high) Well, I make it up to him in other ways.
/// then later
(Kramer pulls the car into a gas station and gets out)
KRAMER: Cars can go on empty, but not us humans, huh, fella? I’ll get us a couple of Twix bars.
RICK: No, no coconut for me.
KRAMER: Alright, I’ll get ya a Mounds bar. Keep the engine running.
(Rick sits back in the car a second, then hurriedly jumps out and reaches for the gas pump. Kramer pops up from behind the pump and scares him)
RICK: Ahh!
KRAMER: No, man! Not the gas!
RICK: But it needs it, Kramer! It needs it bad!
KRAMER: Do you think that this’ll make you happy? ‘Cause it won’t!
RICK: (Walking away) Ah, you can just go on without me.
(Kramer grabs him by the collar)
KRAMER: Listen to me. When that car rolls into that dealership, and that tank is bone dry, I want you to be there with me when everyone says, "Kramer and that other guy, oh, they went further to the left of the slash than anyone ever dreamed!"
(The car makes puttering noises)
RICK: Maybe we better get moving.
KRAMER: It’s good to have you back, Stan.
(Both hop into the car)
RICK: It’s Rick, by the way.
KRAMER: No time!
What about the episode when Gerrys girlfreind walks around his appartment naked all the time...Kramer decides to live in the shower and has a garbage disposal put in the drain....George goes to rage-aholics
Kramer Oh yeah yeah, I'm watching you too, but this guy's really showing me something."
<DD>- Kramer, observing men in a gym shower</DD>Kramer: "Hey, Jerry, guess where I'm calling from!"
Jerry: "World War I plane?"
Kramer: "No, I'm in my shower. Well, you know, I'm trying to get out of the
shower sooner, and then I ask myself, 'Why?' I mean this is where I want to
be. So I got a waterproof phone, I shaved, I brushed my teeth, and now I
ordered a pair of chinos from J. Crew."
Jerry: "When are ya gettin' out?"
Kramer: "I'm not! I'll see ya later, buddy."
Elaine: "Yeah, let me tell you something: this is all in her mind, OK? She is
insane. She thinks I made her sick because I coughed on her doorknob, rubbed
her stapler in my armpit, and put her keyboard on my butt. Yeah, she's a
wacko."
Leader: "OK, let's get started. Welcome to Rage-aholics Anonymous."
George: "What? Rate-aholics?"
Sponsor: "George, this can help you."
George: "Hey, I am not here for rage. I'm here for revenge."
Leader: "Excuse me. We have a 'no yelling' policy at these meetings."
George: "Excuse me. Am I talking to you, Pinhead? Am I?!"
Leader: "Please don't call me 'Pinhead'."
George: "I'm losin' it
Peggy: "You have a garbage disposal in your bathtub?"
Kramer: "Oh, yeah, and I use it all the time. Yeah, I made this whole meal in
there."
Elaine: "This food was in the shower with you?"
Kramer: "Mm-hmm. I prepared it as I bathed."
[Peggy, Elaine, and Puddy all gag and wretch]
Puddy: "Oh, germs. Germs. Germs!"
George: "That's right! He never apologized to me for saying that I would
stretch out the neck hole of his sweater."
[audience laughs]
George: "It wasn't funny."
Hanke: "It was a very nice sweater. Take a look at his neck, not to mention
the melon sitting on top of it. I don't know if I'd trust him with a v-neck."
George: "He's beboppin' and scattin', and I'm losin' it!"
<DD> </DD>
Kramer Oh yeah yeah, I'm watching you too, but this guy's really showing me something."
<DD>- Kramer, observing men in a gym shower</DD>Kramer: "Hey, Jerry, guess where I'm calling from!"
Jerry: "World War I plane?"
Kramer: "No, I'm in my shower. Well, you know, I'm trying to get out of the
shower sooner, and then I ask myself, 'Why?' I mean this is where I want to
be. So I got a waterproof phone, I shaved, I brushed my teeth, and now I
ordered a pair of chinos from J. Crew."
Jerry: "When are ya gettin' out?"
Kramer: "I'm not! I'll see ya later, buddy."
Elaine: "Yeah, let me tell you something: this is all in her mind, OK? She is
insane. She thinks I made her sick because I coughed on her doorknob, rubbed
her stapler in my armpit, and put her keyboard on my butt. Yeah, she's a
wacko."
Leader: "OK, let's get started. Welcome to Rage-aholics Anonymous."
George: "What? Rate-aholics?"
Sponsor: "George, this can help you."
George: "Hey, I am not here for rage. I'm here for revenge."
Leader: "Excuse me. We have a 'no yelling' policy at these meetings."
George: "Excuse me. Am I talking to you, Pinhead? Am I?!"
Leader: "Please don't call me 'Pinhead'."
George: "I'm losin' it
Peggy: "You have a garbage disposal in your bathtub?"
Kramer: "Oh, yeah, and I use it all the time. Yeah, I made this whole meal in
there."
Elaine: "This food was in the shower with you?"
Kramer: "Mm-hmm. I prepared it as I bathed."
[Peggy, Elaine, and Puddy all gag and wretch]
Puddy: "Oh, germs. Germs. Germs!"
George: "That's right! He never apologized to me for saying that I would
stretch out the neck hole of his sweater."
[audience laughs]
George: "It wasn't funny."
Hanke: "It was a very nice sweater. Take a look at his neck, not to mention
the melon sitting on top of it. I don't know if I'd trust him with a v-neck."
George: "He's beboppin' and scattin', and I'm losin' it!"
<DD> </DD>
Kramer, [taking notes on showering men at the YMCA]: "Now see, that's smart.
Constant motion. Wow."
Man in Shower, [seeing Kramer staring at the showering man]: "Hey!"
Kramer: "Oh, yeah, yeah, I-I'm watching you, too. But this guy's really
showing me something!"
Kramer, [walking into Jerry's apartment with a fresh black eye]: "You got a
steak?"
Jerry: "What happened to you?"
Kramer: "Ah, people in this city are crazy."
Constant motion. Wow."
Man in Shower, [seeing Kramer staring at the showering man]: "Hey!"
Kramer: "Oh, yeah, yeah, I-I'm watching you, too. But this guy's really
showing me something!"
Kramer, [walking into Jerry's apartment with a fresh black eye]: "You got a
steak?"
Jerry: "What happened to you?"
Kramer: "Ah, people in this city are crazy."
Great thread on one my my favorite shows of all time(along with Curb Your Enthusiasm,Odd Couple and All in the Family). If you liked Seinfeld you'll probably like Curb.
Loved the Frank Costanza line about George being dead. That was followed by Steinbrenners vist to the Costanza's which Frank asks Steinbrenner
" What the hell did you trade Jay Buhner for ?!!? he then quotes Buhners stats and tells Steinbrenner "You don't know what the hell you're doin !!
Steinbrenner responds " Well, Buhner was a good prospect, no question about it.
But my baseball people love Ken Phelps' bat. They kept saying 'Ken
Phelps , Ken Phelps'."
Also loved Estelle (referring to Donna Chang) "She's not Chinese ; I was duped !!!
Loved the Frank Costanza line about George being dead. That was followed by Steinbrenners vist to the Costanza's which Frank asks Steinbrenner
" What the hell did you trade Jay Buhner for ?!!? he then quotes Buhners stats and tells Steinbrenner "You don't know what the hell you're doin !!
Steinbrenner responds " Well, Buhner was a good prospect, no question about it.
But my baseball people love Ken Phelps' bat. They kept saying 'Ken
Phelps , Ken Phelps'."
Also loved Estelle (referring to Donna Chang) "She's not Chinese ; I was duped !!!
The Marble Rye episode when Kramer feeds too much beefarino's to "Rusty"--horsefarts in the carriage..I laugh my ass off everytime I see that scene. and the one in Chinese restaurant where Elaine goes and takes a bite of strangers egg roll for 50 bucks and maitr'd call out "Cartwright" instead of costanza
