O/T: Funniest Thing You or a Friend Has Said During Sex

[RobFunk]

my ex gf had a really funny one she told me - she said she had been on some medication to treat endometriosis and her doctor said she was infertile. So the first time we were together she said "don't worry I'm safe"

It was really hysterical when the doctor pinpointed that first night as the date she got pregnant. Man I still laugh me ass off about that safe comment everytime I think about the hundreds of thousands of dollars I have spent in legal fees, child support and other expenses since then.

Man she got me good, what a joker she was:missingte

The finest girl I ever slept with, told me "girls are so evil". I just brushed it off. Like yeah, whatever kid.

But if what you said doesnt prove it, I don't know what does.

 

[xpanda]

"You learned how to go down on girls from porn, didn't you?"

 

[RobFunk]

"You learned how to go down on girls from porn, didn't you?"

It's funny you say that.

Because, I saw an interview with a porn star and he said the way you see
a guy going down on a girl in a porn is NOT the way you should do it.

 

[Arodd]

dag...rob show us how it's really done then

 

[ForumHypocrite]

dsethi, and skin what the fuck ever need to get a life, really. you are the most uneducated, worthless piece of shit on this board.

you contribute nothing. i stand corrected if you can name one piece of legitimate information you have supplied besides taking advantage of the weak.

or hooking up, whatever the case may be. Been wanting to make this thread for a couple days now, have a feeling there will be some ridiculous shit in here hopefully. I will start off with a few...
From own personal experience:
"Umm...I'll just bust on your stomach I guess."---said when i was fucking hammered on my 21st birthday, laying next to this bitch that i was messing with, said when she asked me where i was going to get off, because at the time iw as sick of hooking up with her cause she wasn't getting the job done (prob. my fault cause i was wasted) so I had told her to masturbate, just so I could take care of myself and get the fuck out of there. She asked, and like an idiot, that's what I said.
Turned out in my favor though---because instead of letting me do that she just finished me off by going down on me for the 3rd time that night. Needless to say, 5 minutes later I was out the front door. Took FOREVER. Anyone who has hooked up when drunk can probably attest to this at times.
Actually you could argue that the most ridiculous thing i said was telling her to take care of her self in the first place...but the sad thing is, that wasn't the only time i've said that to a girl when i'm hammered and wanting to bust a nut.

The following are from others...

 

[SkinsRaj28]

dsethi, and skin what the fuck ever need to get a life, really. you are the most uneducated, worthless piece of shit on this board.

you contribute nothing. i stand corrected if you can name one piece of legitimate information you have supplied besides taking advantage of the weak.

hahaha that was random. And you're absolutely right...but for us uneducated people, at least we know that when you're talking about two people, it's PIECES of shit, not piece. Oh, we also know how to form coherent sentences. It's a good skill to have...or so I've been told. Good work on that broken English to start your post, I was impressed.

Taking advantage of the weak? WTF? Please provide an example because I have no idea what you're talking about. This should be fun.

But yes, I'm fully aware that I contribute no legitimate information here...it's just a decent way to kill time. Sorry to upset you man.

 

[Arodd]

dsethi, and skin what the fuck ever need to get a life, really. you are the most uneducated, worthless piece of shit on this board.

you contribute nothing. i stand corrected if you can name one piece of legitimate information you have supplied besides taking advantage of the weak.

i'm going to assume you're joking.
and if you're not? I really don't give a fuck. it's not my fault you have nothing to contribute to this thread because you have yet to touch a girl's vagina.
sorry big guy. ask your mom maybe?

 

[ForumHypocrite]

you guy's make your mom proud i'm sure

 

[roach23]

dsethi, and skin what the fuck ever need to get a life, really. you are the most uneducated, worthless piece of shit on this board.

you contribute nothing. i stand corrected if you can name one piece of legitimate information you have supplied besides taking advantage of the weak.

There always gotta be a dude in the thread tryin to bring the brown man down.

 

[SkinsRaj28]

you guy's make your mom proud i'm sure

Go back and get your high school degree, for the love of god. There's no apostrophe in GUYS, since you're referring to both of us and not possession. Come on, this is basic grammar.

I wonder who this REALLY is...maybe an IP check, Wil?

 

[juice]

you guy's make your mom proud i'm sure

Way to set an example and contribute something to the forum retard.
here's some meaningful information for you: you're stupid, stop posting.

 

[SkinsRaj28]

There always gotta be a dude in the thread tryin to bring the brown man down.

I know, right? Might have to track this guy down and detonate the bomb strapped to my chest...

 

[ForumHypocrite]

WTF does this have to do with skin color? these two dumb ass brothers posting are rather annoying.

I know, right? Might have to track this guy down and detonate the bomb strapped to my chest...

 

[ForumHypocrite]

who i really am?? well, no ip check needed, i am the FP period

Go back and get your high school degree, for the love of god. There's no apostrophe in GUYS, since you're referring to both of us and not possession. Come on, this is basic grammar.

I wonder who this REALLY is...maybe an IP check, Wil?

 

[Arodd]

you guy's make your mom proud i'm sure

i want to have anal sex with your mother.
Is that wrong?
Maybe after i'm done i can add something else to this thread about something i say to her? Somethin like:
"Look at my cock appear and dissapear...in your anus you stupid bitch. Now suck on my cock so you can taste your own feces."

I think that'd be fantastic.

 

[juice]

i want to have anal sex with your mother.
Is that wrong?
Maybe after i'm done i can add something else to this thread about something i say to her? Somethin like:
"Look at my cock appear and dissapear...in your anus you stupid bitch. Now suck on my cock so you can taste your own feces."

I think that'd be fantastic.

something tells me she's not an anal virgin by any stretch of the imagination

 

[Arodd]

true...maybe she's already tasted her own feces then...sad.

regardless, let's hear more quotes goddamnit. juice where are your quotes, i know your girlfriend's a freak

 

[roach23]

I know, right? Might have to track this guy down and detonate the bomb strapped to my chest...

no bombs needed. kill him with kindness.

tell a joke:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=66fSnKy5brc&search=Raj binder

 

[ForumHypocrite]

if anyone knows anything about strapping bombs to shit, that'd be you and your bro, right?

fucking prick

I know, right? Might have to track this guy down and detonate the bomb strapped to my chest...

 

[Arodd]

Forum Hypcrite, you gonna give us a quote or what?
That was the point of this thread. if youw ant to bash me and skinsraj then create a new thread and stop hijacking this one.
did i just say hijacking? Am i a terrorist?