Haha reminds me of a text this chick I know sent my roomie who was trying to get some. It said, "I'm sorry I haven't been over lately. I have school, a job, and a lover".
This was after knowing the guy for a few days... Apparently they were in love. Blah.
Back in the day I told some chick whose cousin had a band that my uncle could hook them up. My uncle of course works with computers but I was wasted and it sounded good (and worked).