Ladies: decent comebacks for stupid pickup lines

[SkinsRaj28]

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

 

[Paterno]

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

:lol:

 

[royboy_3831]

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

ope:

 

[PornoPaul]

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: You wanna get killed? No? Then shut the fuck up and come with me, or I'm gonna fucking kill you right here. Now get up, follow me, and keep your mouth shut.

:missingte :missingte :missingte :missingte :missingte

You are fuckin funny for a terrorist.


Email me your adress and ill send you some porn to calm you down,

p

 

[antipublic]

Man: Would you like to dance
Woman: Hell No

Man: What are you talking about, I said "you look fat in those pants"

:toast:

 

[steaktartar]

in a british accent
man..tickle your ass with a feather?
woman...what the hell did u just say?
man.....i said particularily nasty weather

 

[BASEHEAD]

Guy: How are you doing tonight?
Girl: Fuck you scumbag.

 

[Buster]

Bartenders’ best pickup advice
By Maggie Kim
Few people have such a front-row seat to the dating and mating game as a bartender. Every night, these drink slingers watch would-be studs crash and burn, unlikely couples happily hook up, and more. Thanks to this experience, they’ve compiled a wealth of knowledge on the moves that work—not to mention those that bomb. Here, their best advice.

Try this easy opener
“I think the easiest way for a guy to start talking to a girl is to get next to her while she’s ordering her own drink and say, “That one’s on me.” Every girl will at least say thank you and if she’s interested, she’ll stick around and start a conversation.”
—Gia Favia, Rino, Chicago

Stand out with a signature drink
“For both guys and girls, the meeting and hooking-up game is all about making an impression. I think finding a signature drink helps you stand out from the pack of gin and tonics and vodka sodas. Women who are sipping a bourbon definitely have a lot more mystique than one with a standard pink drink, just like a guy with a Manhattan seems more interesting than one with a beer. Find the drink that suits your style and personality and have a fun, cute story to go with it. Like ‘I drink Manhattans because my grandfather did.’ Anything that helps you stand out from the pack and start a conversation is a plus.”
—Josh Wojcik, Chocolat Michel Cluizel, New York

Stick to the three-minute rule
“From what I’ve seen, a woman’s usually made up her mind about a guy in the first three minutes—and I’ve never seen anyone’s mind change after that. So guys should go in for the pickup, but if three minutes go by and she’s not warming up, they should cut their losses and move on.”
—David Cerequas, Craftbar, New York

Be sincere
“From what I’ve seen, it’s the Year of the Geeks and Good Guys: It’s not about being suave or sexy, but about being genuine and attentive. Women are tired of being hit on by jerks whose heads swivel every time another pretty girl walks by. Give a woman your undivided attention, and you’ll stand out from the crowd.”
—Terril Johnson, Shortstop, Los Angeles

Look out for the Lemon Drop
“You can definitely spot the girls who are looking for a good time and want to flirt: They usually come in groups and line up at the bar versus at a table to make it easier for guys to talk to them. And if you see them drinking Lemon Drops — a yellowish liquid in a shot glass garnished with a lemon that’s been dipped in sugar — it’s a sure sign that these girls just wanna have fun! It’s replaced the Cosmo as the drink of choice for the Sex and the City-type girls.”
—Erica Jobe, Moda, New York

Try talking about your troubles
“There was one guy who got a call on his cell phone about his dog being injured by a car—it felt like every woman in the bar was trying to help him and comfort him. Now, I’m not recommending guys lie and say their pet was hurt, but the lesson here is don’t be afraid to tell a girl about a dilemma or problem you’re struggling with. Women like to help.”
—Chris Lower, Gator’s, Minnesota

Be a big spender
“Splurge on a nice glass of champagne (think Cristal) and send it over to the woman you’re interested in. This works better than anything I’ve ever seen. It shows a guy’s not cheap and that he’s interested enough in the girl to spend some money on her. It’s smooth, impressive—and works almost every time!”
—Joseph Barbour, Body English at the Hard Rock, Las Vegas

Maggie Kim (maggiekim.com) is a freelance writer and a rock musician based in New York City.



http://msn.match.com/msn/article.as...ngID=516311&BannerID=544657&menuid=6&GT1=9177

 

[kingbill]

Me: Hey do you have a boyfriend?
Girl: Yes
Me: Do you want a better one?

 

[fivedoorsdown]

crowd noise a little higher than talking.

man . hey you look fat in them pants.
women whattt!!
man. would you like to dance ??

also so for you brainiacs
a recent harvard study has just learned that

marriage is the leading cause of divorce

 

[WVU]

we want more xpanda.

Tell us the lines that work.

 

[RoofTop]

The best line I used that got me nowhere

"You out lookin for some stick"

 

[SkinsRaj28]

Man: Hey...you wanna go get some pizza and fuck?
Woman: What?!? NO!
Man: What? You don't like pizza?

Then man grabs woman by her hair, drags her out of the bar, and rapes her in his car. Then kills her. Then fucks her again. And again. And again.

 

[fivedoorsdown]

most here couldnt get fucked ,with a fist full of pardons in a womens prison.

 

[Rawpimple]

"Try this easy opener
“I think the easiest way for a guy to start talking to a girl is to get next to her while she’s ordering her own drink and say, “That one’s on me.” Every girl will at least say thank you and if she’s interested, she’ll stick around and start a conversation.”
—Gia Favia, Rino, Chicago"


Thats the fuckin worst advice ever. Buy a drink for every chick you want to bang? Id be fuckin broke. The only worse advice would be to tail every one of Mr. Newlywed's plays with your own money.

 

[xpanda]

Man: Hey...you wanna go get some pizza and fuck?
Woman: What?!? NO!
Man: What? You don't like pizza?

Then man grabs woman by her hair, drags her out of the bar, and rapes her in his car. Then kills her. Then fucks her again. And again. And again.

There is no doubt in my mind you are the first guy to hold the door open, pick up the cheque, buy a rose, and light a candle for your woman.

 

[kingbill]

There is no doubt in my mind you are the first guy to hold the door open, pick up the cheque, buy a rose, and light a candle for your woman.

Don't call a man out like that in the Rubber Room...Damn Now I got call Raj a big Pu$$y

 

[dinger]

man - Can I smell your pvssy?
woman - Hell No!!!

man - Oh, Im sorry, it must be your feet.

 

[SkinsRaj28]

There is no doubt in my mind you are the first guy to hold the door open, pick up the cheque, buy a rose, and light a candle for your woman.

Ha I don't know about all that...

I'm a gentleman (sometimes) to women that I actually give a fuck about, though. But picking up the check isn't something the guy should be doing exclusively...maybe just the first couple times.

I've never been on a date, so I have no idea what the fuck I'm talking about, obviously. Candles? Get the fuck outta here.

And for the record, I hold the door open for everyone, not just women. It's just polite. More people should.

 

[WVU]

you have to hold the door open otherwise your big ape self would be in the way