How do you go about approaching a woman for some anal?

[Mr NJ Sports]

Approach Wilhelm and if it works transfer that strategy to the ladies.

 

[Skyweasel]

I always said the Rx was "full of anal experts" and now it's been confirmed. My only advice is to listen to the immortal words of Frank Zappa,

You say you can't live with what you been through
Well, ladies you can be an asshole too
You might pretend you ain't got one on the bottom of you,
But don't fool yerself girl
It's lookin' at you
Don't fool yerself girl
It's winkin' at you
Don't fool yerself girl
It's blinkin' at you
That's why I say
I'm gonna ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
*Corn hole*
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
*Fist fuck*
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
*Wrist-watch; Crisco*
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
*Pud!*

Don't fool yerself, girl
It's goin' right up yer poop chute
Don't fool yerself, girl
It's goin' right up yer poop chute

 

[kidslick]

funk.........lmfao..

thats so naughty are you a girl mrs funk..

 

[TheGeneral+]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by The General:
So, let me ask this. Is there any long term harm done to a girl who likes anal day after day? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


???

 

[Thunder]

Gas....

 

[Angelle]

This thread makes me laugh every damn time.
LOL

 

[JudgeWapner]

Angelle,I've been meaning to ask you.......

 

[Angelle]

LMFAO..
OH I CRACK MYSELF UP


heheheh

 

[RobFunk]

lol slick. .what a dumbass that guy was

 

[PatPatriot]

You know how to make your wife scream twice?
Fxck her in the ass,then wipe your dick on the curtains.

 

[Horseshoe]

Angelle, I have a lil' question for you..was your Destin fav Marina Cafe or Harbor Docks?..I also went to The Donut Hole while there this past weekend(& no it's not a dyke bar!)..

A most excellent band and one their best tunes..

Old 97s "Question"

She woke from a dream
Her head was on fire
Why was he so nervous?
He took her to the park
She crossed her arms
And lowered her honor

Someday, somebody's gonna ask you
A question that you should say "yes" to
Once in your life
Baby, tonight I've got a question for you

She'd had no idea
And started to cry
She said "in a good way"
He took her by the hand
Walked her back home
And they took the long way

Someday, somebody's gonna ask you
The question that you should say "yes" to
Once in your life
Maybe tonight I've got a question for you

I've got a question for you...

 

[Angelle]

WOW ok I think you are right about the name...
Calling someone now...

Will let you know in about 2 seconds

 

[Angelle]

Destin Chops above Harry Ts

 

[Angelle]

those sound familar too though...

I went to Destin at least once a summer from the time I was 3-17...

How did you enjoy it?

 

[ElIguana]

There was talk of KY jelly earlier--I mean to tell you that Astroglide is the best substance that man has ever made for ANY sex, anal or otherwise. KY gets a little gummy and dries out after several strokes. Astroglide is just like a woman's own juice....without the halibut odor.

Do yourselves a favor and buy a bottle today. If you're really daring, ask your partner for a hand-job with "the glide." It almost better than sex, but very intense since you are at your partner's mercy.

 

[Angelle]

LOL

Nevermind...

I am an angel.
I wouldn't know what I was talking about-

 

[sammythebull]

Slipping girls tranquilizers in their drinks works sometimes. However there's nothing like putting a belt around their neck from the rear while you mount them. They never admit it but I think they really get off on it.

 

[RobFunk]

i dont know. isnt it better to be with a chic who wouldnt do this if you paid her. i mean isnt she more likely to respect herself and other things such as the relationship. i guess i am a hopeless romantic.

 

[Horseshoe]

Destin was great Angelle, actually nice weather unexpectedly, everyone had a blast catching up with one another, and cutting up.

I too used to go to the Florida coast when younger, but hadn't been in a four years.

The place is getting bigger all the time(like Gulf Shores), but still the best sand and water in the USA.

Next time I'm gonna try Chops, Criollas, or Copper Grill..or maybe Bud and Ally's in Grayton/Seaside.

Get your butt over to The BlowFlyInn, bring Jen and split everything..huge portions..and delicious!

 

[HinesWard86]

One night stands:
While getting her doggy style, simply whisper in her ear "Have you ever had it in the ass"? Her response will be
Yeah- then you plunge it in
No- then ask if she'd like to try.
if she says okay, again, plunge it in.
if she says "I don't know", wait about ten seconds, then put the tip of your cock right at her b hole, slowly begin to plunge in and hum "mmmmm"?, as though you are asking a question. If she says "no", get in a couple quick thrusts and say "what"? as though you didn't hear her. When she says louder "no", pull out so that she doesn't go Kobe on you.

Someone you care for (Wife, girlfriend, basically someone you are not treating like a one night stand):

This approach is very different. You try the "one night stand" tactic and you may have blown it for good.

You have to suduce her, make her find that whore inside of her. You can't do the things you normally do. You must get her to think that she is bringing something out of you. Start by moaning more than usual. Make her think that she's giving you the BJ of your life. This will set her up for the kill, but be patient. Don't let that slut know your plan just yet. You must then do things to her that you normally don't. I have found that pulling hair (on her head)works like a charm. I don't mean grabbing a lock of hair and yanking on it. Almost like a massage. Grab a full handful right at the scalp to where you only have to squeeze your hand to give her that pulling sensation she will love. Practice this on yourself so you can get it right. Too hard and you hurt her. Too soft and you have no effect. Try it on yourself and whatever fills massage like to you, do to her. Now this is key, from time to time, give a little extra squeeze as to give a little pain to her. If you do this correctly, she's puddy in your hand. Now, on to the kitty. While licking, do not swallow the juices that come from her. Allow them to drip down and into her butt crack. You can assist by allowing your saliva to do the same. While doing this you must keep throwing her off by giveing her a little pain such as the hair pulling or soft bites on the inner leg and outside set of pssy lips. Don't use teeth when softly biting the pssy lips. Just like you expect her to watch her teeth, you need to watch yours so bite with your lips. Remember, not to hard, the goal is to give her spurts of moderate pain. Now, while doing this, it is important to make her feel that because she is so hot tonight that she's bringing this wilder you out. From time to time, revisit her mouth and give her extremely dip sloppy kisses. Girls will say they do not like this but at the right time they do. Now roll her over and begin to alternate between hickey type kisses on her lower back and little teeth bites all the while breathing heavy and deep. Also make soft moaning sounds as though you are eating the best damn steak you have ever eaten. continue down to her butt cheeks and do the same alternate kissing/biting. Next, start at the small of her back and give exclusive soft bites and make your way up her spine, continueing with with the small bites until you have reached her neck. You must step up the heavy breathing and moaning as though you are truely enjoying yourself and she has just found a whole new you. Very important to go a little overboard with this. Now, grab a wad of spit from your mouth and lube the head of your cock as best you can. Don't get caught doing this. With her still lying on her stomach, place the tip of your cock right at the begining of her butt crack. Then, glide it down in between her butt cheeks, swiping her b hole, continuing on, then swiping her pssy, getting as much pssy juice on your cock as possible. Do not, I repeat, do not penetrate into her pssy. After you have lubed up, glide back up, swiping her pssy, then swiping the b hole again. In case I lost you, you will now be right back at the point where the tip of your cock is at the begining of her butt crack. Do this swipe and lube thing several times, each time passing over the b hole with more pressure then the previous swipe. While doing this, it is extremely important that she thinks you are thoroughly enjoying this. Give her a few mmm's and ahh's while doing this swiping. By now, providing you have followed instructions, she thinks that she has turned you on to a whole new level and that she has done something right to have gotten you into this raging state. This is where you start to shorten the range on your swiping to only pass over her b hole. Slower, slower now position the head of your cock at her b hole and slowly plunge in. Two things must happen at this point. You must give her an "OH" as though you are already cumming. Doubt she will want to take this away from you so chances are, she hunkers down and bites pillow. Secondly, stick it in far enough to where she's dealing with the trunk of your cock. Since your head is wider than the rest of your cock (unless your one of those uncircumsized freaks that couldn't get laid anyways- sorry Shrink)it is easier for her to deal with if you keep it up in her. Your thrusts need to be slow and controlled for this first time at it. Let her know how good she feels. The outward thrust is where she will receive her pleasure, if any. Kind of like a shit coming out, this outward pull should be slow.

Well boys, congrats. You have finally nailed your girlfriend/wife in the ass.

Thing to keep in mind. I don't care what anybody says, all a woman really wants is a pervert. Someone that will muff dive, pinch nipples, and yes, nail them in the ass. Money is nice, but unless they are getting nailed properly, they will stray. How many times do you see a woman cheating on her rich husband with some broke ass guy. Why is that? You guessed it, cause he nailing her good.

Forgot to mention that you should not cum in her ass the first time. This is a whole different chapter as she must get used to the after math. Basically, she'll have to fart it out and that will most definitely make her feel uncomfortable and we don't want to do that. After all, you put in a hell of alot of work. Besides, you need to wait until you have a threesome, then you can blow it in her ass and have her give her best friend a fart facial. You accomplish that then you are the man.

This guy needs to come back. Had to win 2004 Post of the Year