Hondo, who had been sizzling lately, stumbled last night with Lee and the Phillies, who flopped in Cincy and caused the still somewhat beefy earnings to tumble to 120 schoendiensts.
Tonight, Mr. Aitch has one piece of valuable advice: Ignore the Career vs. Opp. column in the Pitching Form, and go Westbrook, young men. Ten units on the Cards to prevail in Pittsburgh.
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Stalker Katherine Thurston allegedly threw an electric razor filled with pubic hair at Australian actor Hugh Jackman on Saturday morning, which may not be as strange as it seems. It could be that she just wanted to let him know that she knows how important good grooming is Down Under ... Eric Brown, who stole a truck carrying Obama’s teleprompter Oct. 16, 2011, yesterday was sentenced to seven years in prison. Having rendered mute the leader of the free world, Brown is lucky he avoided a date with a firing squad.
Tonight, Mr. Aitch has one piece of valuable advice: Ignore the Career vs. Opp. column in the Pitching Form, and go Westbrook, young men. Ten units on the Cards to prevail in Pittsburgh.
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Stalker Katherine Thurston allegedly threw an electric razor filled with pubic hair at Australian actor Hugh Jackman on Saturday morning, which may not be as strange as it seems. It could be that she just wanted to let him know that she knows how important good grooming is Down Under ... Eric Brown, who stole a truck carrying Obama’s teleprompter Oct. 16, 2011, yesterday was sentenced to seven years in prison. Having rendered mute the leader of the free world, Brown is lucky he avoided a date with a firing squad.
Hondo’s action with the Cards was rinsed last night in Pittsburgh, which deprived him of an opportunity for a comeback victory that would have inflated the wad.
Today, with 120 morgans in the account, Mr. Aitch will give the nod to Chunky Bud Norris over Chubby Bart Colon — 10 units on the ’Stros to do some damage in Oakland.
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Stalker Katherine Thurston, who last weekend threw a pubic hair-filled electric razor at Australian actor Hugh Jackman, remains locked up in jail. Apparently, law enforcement officials are worried that if they let her out, Jackman will be in danger again in a few weeks when a new crop of foliage sprouts and she reloads the razor ... Anthony “Ridiculous Bulge” Weiner has moved into second place in the latest Marist poll of Democratic mayoral candidates with 15 percent of support, 11 points behind Christine Quinn. Twenty-two percent remain undecided, presumably unsure whether they want the city to be helmed by a lying self-absorbed flasher.
Today, with 120 morgans in the account, Mr. Aitch will give the nod to Chunky Bud Norris over Chubby Bart Colon — 10 units on the ’Stros to do some damage in Oakland.
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Stalker Katherine Thurston, who last weekend threw a pubic hair-filled electric razor at Australian actor Hugh Jackman, remains locked up in jail. Apparently, law enforcement officials are worried that if they let her out, Jackman will be in danger again in a few weeks when a new crop of foliage sprouts and she reloads the razor ... Anthony “Ridiculous Bulge” Weiner has moved into second place in the latest Marist poll of Democratic mayoral candidates with 15 percent of support, 11 points behind Christine Quinn. Twenty-two percent remain undecided, presumably unsure whether they want the city to be helmed by a lying self-absorbed flasher.
Hondo suffered a double-wipeout yesterday with the Giants and Metamucils, which not only caused him to plunge into the red but also necessitated some changes in the stable. Effective immediately, Cain has lost his stall and Mrs. Niese and her lucky blue skivvies, which seem to be wearing thin, have been put on probation.
Tonight, with the deficit at 45 malzones, Mr. Aitch expects the Sawx to pepper the Monster with horsehide against the one and only Jimmy Shields — 10 units on Buchholz (RED SOX).
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According to a new book, former anchor Ann Curry was given a hard time by her colleagues on the Today Show. You can imagine how bad it was for her, especially when Al Roker would sit down next to her on the couch with his pants fully loaded ... Secretary of State John Kerry, testifying about Benghazi, told a congressional committee this week: “We got a lot more important things to move on to and get done.” It’s good to see he’s in lockstep with his predecessor’s stated position on the issue: “What difference does it make?”
Tonight, with the deficit at 45 malzones, Mr. Aitch expects the Sawx to pepper the Monster with horsehide against the one and only Jimmy Shields — 10 units on Buchholz (RED SOX).
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According to a new book, former anchor Ann Curry was given a hard time by her colleagues on the Today Show. You can imagine how bad it was for her, especially when Al Roker would sit down next to her on the couch with his pants fully loaded ... Secretary of State John Kerry, testifying about Benghazi, told a congressional committee this week: “We got a lot more important things to move on to and get done.” It’s good to see he’s in lockstep with his predecessor’s stated position on the issue: “What difference does it make?”
Hondo, hoping to bounce back into the black after Thursday’s double-flusher, had his beans on Boston last night but, because of the cancelation, remained 45 hobsons below the equator. Today, Mr. Aitch will try again with the Sawx -- 10 units on Buchholz to get by with a little help from his friends against the one and only Jimmy Shields.
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Stalker Kathleen Thurston, who threw an electric razor filled with her curlies at Hugh Jackman, was indicted on felony charges yesterday. That makes her Pubic Enemy No. 1 ... Hondo hears that Elvis impersonator Paul Kevin Curtis, who allegedly sent ricin-tainted letters to Obama and a Mississippi Senator, was relieved when he was caught, telling arresting officers, “Thankyouverymuch.”
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Stalker Kathleen Thurston, who threw an electric razor filled with her curlies at Hugh Jackman, was indicted on felony charges yesterday. That makes her Pubic Enemy No. 1 ... Hondo hears that Elvis impersonator Paul Kevin Curtis, who allegedly sent ricin-tainted letters to Obama and a Mississippi Senator, was relieved when he was caught, telling arresting officers, “Thankyouverymuch.”
HONDO PLAY - CLEVELAND INDIANS
FADE PLAY - CHICAGO WHITE SOX
"Hondo’s foray into the wonderful world of positive digits turned out to be fleeting as he stumbled with the Nationals yesterday to drop back into the red at 70 dobys. Tonight, in a battle of AL Central dregs, Mr. Aitch will look for some wahoos from the yahoos of Cleveland – 10 units on Masterson to stop the smelly Chisox."
FADE PLAY - CHICAGO WHITE SOX
"Hondo’s foray into the wonderful world of positive digits turned out to be fleeting as he stumbled with the Nationals yesterday to drop back into the red at 70 dobys. Tonight, in a battle of AL Central dregs, Mr. Aitch will look for some wahoos from the yahoos of Cleveland – 10 units on Masterson to stop the smelly Chisox."
The Indians surely didn’t phone it in last night at U.S. Cellular Field as they rallied in the eighth to chafe the Chisox and reduce Hondo’s deficit to a manageable 20 kranepools.
Tonight, Mr. Aitch and the Metamucils will be counting on Mrs. Niese’s lucky blue skivvies to see them through a difficult test against Kershaw and the Dodgers – 10 units. Also, 10 on Colon to come out smelling like a rose against the Bosawx. (A's)
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Reese Witherspoon was arrested for disorderly conduct as her husband was being busted for DUI Friday in Atlanta. The Hollywood good girl reportedly told cops: “Do you know my name?” Reese obviously went to the Mike “Do You Know Who I am” Lupica Big Shot School For Dealing With The Little People ... The Clintons are scheduled to attend the dedication of the Little Rock airport that will be named in their honor May 3. Hondo hears Bill will talk about his decades-long experience as a card-carrying member of the Mile High Club, while Hillary will scamper around the tarmac in a reenactment of the harrowing incident in 1996 when she had to dodge all that imaginary sniper fire.
Tonight, Mr. Aitch and the Metamucils will be counting on Mrs. Niese’s lucky blue skivvies to see them through a difficult test against Kershaw and the Dodgers – 10 units. Also, 10 on Colon to come out smelling like a rose against the Bosawx. (A's)
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Reese Witherspoon was arrested for disorderly conduct as her husband was being busted for DUI Friday in Atlanta. The Hollywood good girl reportedly told cops: “Do you know my name?” Reese obviously went to the Mike “Do You Know Who I am” Lupica Big Shot School For Dealing With The Little People ... The Clintons are scheduled to attend the dedication of the Little Rock airport that will be named in their honor May 3. Hondo hears Bill will talk about his decades-long experience as a card-carrying member of the Mile High Club, while Hillary will scamper around the tarmac in a reenactment of the harrowing incident in 1996 when she had to dodge all that imaginary sniper fire.
Hondo had his good splitter working last night as he connected with the A’s in Fenway Pahk to more than offset his setback with the Metamucils.
Today, with the debt down to 10 ortas, Mr. Aitch will roll with Quintana — 10 units on McAllister to get mcClobbered by the Pale Hose (WHITE SOX). Tonight, Hondo isn’t all that bullish on Darvish so he will wing it with the Angels — 10 units.
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AJ Clemente, the notorious news anchor in North Dakota who was fired after his first day on the job for dropping on-air “F” and “S” bombs, has received some support from viewers and even others in the industry. For example, Hondo hears Ernie Anastos told him to hang in there and “keep f---in’ those chickens” ... Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has a favorable rating of 64 percent, nine points better than Obama, according to a Gallup Poll. Americans apparently like a frequent flyer who accomplishes little and couldn’t care less about who was responsible for the Benghazi attack. You go, Pantsuit!
Today, with the debt down to 10 ortas, Mr. Aitch will roll with Quintana — 10 units on McAllister to get mcClobbered by the Pale Hose (WHITE SOX). Tonight, Hondo isn’t all that bullish on Darvish so he will wing it with the Angels — 10 units.
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AJ Clemente, the notorious news anchor in North Dakota who was fired after his first day on the job for dropping on-air “F” and “S” bombs, has received some support from viewers and even others in the industry. For example, Hondo hears Ernie Anastos told him to hang in there and “keep f---in’ those chickens” ... Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has a favorable rating of 64 percent, nine points better than Obama, according to a Gallup Poll. Americans apparently like a frequent flyer who accomplishes little and couldn’t care less about who was responsible for the Benghazi attack. You go, Pantsuit!
Hondo vaulted back into the black yesterday afternoon when the Pale Hose tripped the Tribe to put the earnings at 40 fosters going into last night’s coastal activity with the Angels.
Tonight, Mr. Aitch will invest a portion of his DDPs (disposable dead presidents) on the Reds to expose Nat Gio — 10 units on Arroyo.
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Good-old Jimmy McMillan, founder and sole member of “The Rent’s Too Damn High Party,” announced his candidacy for NYC mayor yesterday. With Anthony “Ridiculous Bulge” Weiner also likely running, it could turn out to be a battle between “The Rent’s Too Damn High” guy and “The Zipper’s Too Damn Low” guy ... This just in: emailer James Hommel claims he knows who was responsible for the imaginary sniper fire Hillary had to dodge on the tarmac in Bosnia back in 1996: Lennay Kekua, aka Manti Te’o’s girlfriend
Tonight, Mr. Aitch will invest a portion of his DDPs (disposable dead presidents) on the Reds to expose Nat Gio — 10 units on Arroyo.
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Good-old Jimmy McMillan, founder and sole member of “The Rent’s Too Damn High Party,” announced his candidacy for NYC mayor yesterday. With Anthony “Ridiculous Bulge” Weiner also likely running, it could turn out to be a battle between “The Rent’s Too Damn High” guy and “The Zipper’s Too Damn Low” guy ... This just in: emailer James Hommel claims he knows who was responsible for the imaginary sniper fire Hillary had to dodge on the tarmac in Bosnia back in 1996: Lennay Kekua, aka Manti Te’o’s girlfriend
Hondo, who was thoroughly thumped with the Angels Wednesday night, took another brutal beating last night when the Reds’ D.C. follies sent him deeper into debt at 60 covingtons.
Tonight, Mr. Aitch will board the Braves’ increasingly crowded bandwagon – 10 units on Maholm to mow down Motown.
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Tonight, Mr. Aitch will board the Braves’ increasingly crowded bandwagon – 10 units on Maholm to mow down Motown.
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