BUMP this great thread from last summer so we can post this Hot New Update!
WAR ALL THE TIME
Petraeus Cites ‘Progress’ In Killing Taliban Guys For 10 Years Straight
War schlub David Petraeus did one of his “report cards to the Senate” things today, and he’s got good news! Despite never accomplishing
* a
single thing in 10 years of bloody, pointless, horrific boondoggle Central Asian warfare,
“It is only recently that we have gotten the inputs right in Afghanistan.”
Oh, now we get it! Afghanistan is like an old person trying to plug in an iPad. No, wait, the iPad wasn’t yet invented when we invaded Afghanistan. The i
Phone? Nope. The Microsoft Zune? Ha ha, the Zune’s
entire life has come and gone during just the
second half (so far) of the Afghanistan occupation.
Well how about an old-school iPod, with Grampa (who was much younger then!) just cold confused over that weird Apple firewire plug? No, sorry. The invasion of Afghanistan began on October 7, 2001 — the
first clunky iPod went on sale several weeks later, on October 23.
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Anyway, progress is being made, even though Petraeus says whatever make-believe gains are “fragile and reversible.” Also, despite constantly killing “the Taliban” (poor Afgan guys who’ve watched their country be bombed by the United States for an entire decade), “the Taliban” continue to fight! How does that work? Islamic magic, probably. (“Sharia.”) [
Los Angeles Times]
* There has been an accomplishment, of sorts: Several invasions and many horrific torture revelations and “Camp X-Ray” and military tribunals and
an entire decade of constant bombing of poor Muslims in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iraq, Yemen, Somalia and probably a lot of other countries has created an
entire generation of hundreds of millions of people, perhaps even billions, who
hate America and will always hate America, because America is evil. And the most angry and desperate of these people will keep trying and occasionally succeed at bombing and otherwise murdering Americans in whatever possible way for
rest of our lives.