Friends don't let friends drive drunk

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Thanks, it's just sad though, and the more The General thinks about the situation and does nothing about it, when something does happen, he will blame himself. That's just the way the brain thinks.

Like I said, I am no angel, I drink and drive most every weekend, however, I am always in control of myself, I am sure I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer, however if you didn't know I was drinking, you'd think I was completely sober.

People like Generals friend NEED help, although they will never seek it themselves. I don't know how old he is, but I am 24, and at 24 parent's have a lot more influence than a grown man. I warned my friend that I was going to tell them and he literally **** a brick. I guess he thought I was kidding, but when push came to shove he is back to the same person he was before the drinking/drugging took over and is very grateful of that.

Even if he won't talk to you again, point is you helped someone in need and soon enough they will realize that and will be grateful for your help.

GL

Treez
 

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General. what state do you live in? If he has a fairly recent DUI he should be on supervised probation. I would walk into his probation officers office, tell him what the situation is, and maybe he would monitor him more closely. Random UA, calls to check up on him, etc. No alcohol would be a condition of his probation.

What is his driving status? In Iowa you would have a barred license (an aggravated misdemeanor) for a number of years after a third. Knock out his taillight and have him drive you around the most cop invested neighborhood for 3 hours (sober of course) He'll get his car towed and spend a night in county.

How does he own a car? Can't be registered in his name. Talk to the car's owner, serious liability there. Maybe they'll take the keys away.

I am a bondsman in Iowa and have experience with drunk drivers. Owi 3rd in Iowa is a Class D felony but in most circimstances you will get 4-6 months in an OWI treatment facility, best case scenario (essentially work release). The fourth one is where they really nail you. I imagine in most states you would serve a year plus. What did he get for his 3rd DUI?
 

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_wheredatreezat said:
Thanks, it's just sad though, and the more The General thinks about the situation and does nothing about it, when something does happen, he will blame himself. That's just the way the brain thinks.

Like I said, I am no angel, I drink and drive most every weekend, however, I am always in control of myself, I am sure I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer, however if you didn't know I was drinking, you'd think I was completely sober.

People like Generals friend NEED help, although they will never seek it themselves. I don't know how old he is, but I am 24, and at 24 parent's have a lot more influence than a grown man. I warned my friend that I was going to tell them and he literally **** a brick. I guess he thought I was kidding, but when push came to shove he is back to the same person he was before the drinking/drugging took over and is very grateful of that.

Even if he won't talk to you again, point is you helped someone in need and soon enough they will realize that and will be grateful for your help.

GL

Treez
I tried to quote only paragraph #2, unsuccessful.

Treez you are ripe pickings for a first. Even if someone hits you, you will get it. Unfair perhaps, but real.Time will get you. Think of it as playing big ML favs, one will lose, eventually, or if you prefer bet an 8-team parlay, it will hit eventually, but you lose when this one hits.

Anyway, one DWI is as far as you want to ever go. You will get caught in time, it's pure math.
 

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let him make his own mistakes. it's not your responsibility, no matter how good a friend you are. some people are destine for destruction, no matter what.
 

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I still dont get why one blames theirself for other problems. the person is the way they are, not becuase you did something to help or not help.
_wheredatreezat said:
Thanks, it's just sad though, and the more The General thinks about the situation and does nothing about it, when something does happen, he will blame himself. That's just the way the brain thinks.

Like I said, I am no angel, I drink and drive most every weekend, however, I am always in control of myself, I am sure I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer, however if you didn't know I was drinking, you'd think I was completely sober.

People like Generals friend NEED help, although they will never seek it themselves. I don't know how old he is, but I am 24, and at 24 parent's have a lot more influence than a grown man. I warned my friend that I was going to tell them and he literally **** a brick. I guess he thought I was kidding, but when push came to shove he is back to the same person he was before the drinking/drugging took over and is very grateful of that.

Even if he won't talk to you again, point is you helped someone in need and soon enough they will realize that and will be grateful for your help.

GL

Treez
 

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bigbet1234 said:
I still dont get why one blames theirself for other problems. the person is the way they are, not becuase you did something to help or not help.
If you thought about helping, there will always be the question in your head about "What if..."
 

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DougJ said:
I tried to quote only paragraph #2, unsuccessful.

Treez you are ripe pickings for a first. Even if someone hits you, you will get it. Unfair perhaps, but real.Time will get you. Think of it as playing big ML favs, one will lose, eventually, or if you prefer bet an 8-team parlay, it will hit eventually, but you lose when this one hits.

Anyway, one DWI is as far as you want to ever go. You will get caught in time, it's pure math.
You are so right on the DWI, I am working on it. No need to screw over my life because of something silly. Sometimes tough to practice what you preach. Always easier said than done.

Treez
 

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No there wouldn't. I have a couple friends, and one very close friend that is ruining his life and family from gambling. nothing i say or do will change him. he has to look within himself to make the change.

my words, or anyone elses wont make a difference.

now if it was drinking, drink away. but if i am around, and you try an drive while pissed up, not going to happen. i will call the police.

to many innocent people die from these ass whipes driving while intoxicated. i'm not worried about the drunk, they usually get out of it with a few scraps and bruises.

all you can do is express you concern and let it go. he has to find within himself why he continues to drink day in and day out with consquesces. something in his life he is running from, only he knows

BB
_wheredatreezat said:
If you thought about helping, there will always be the question in your head about "What if..."
 

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General,

It won't do a lot of good you trying to talk to him. Have someone in his shoes tell their story and talk to him. It sounds to me like he has a drinking problem and he needs another alcoholic to share their story. Do some research and perhaps pick up the big book from AA. Alcoholics rarely listen to their sober friends, it takes someone who they can relate to to help them turn around. I, too, battle alcoholism on a daily basis and know many of the traps and tricks your friend will try to hide him problem.
No one is going to help him if he is not willing to help himself.

I seriously doubt there is one person on here that can say they have never driven drunk at least once in their life. Still, we should all learn to take a taxi, have a friend drive, or any alternative.

Hope that your friend can get the strength to admit his weaknesses, he will be a better man for it.

GD
 

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I worked with a guy who was on his third DWI and still would get so wasted at our softball games that he could barely run the bases. Finally, he lost his license, his car, his family and his job(outside sales) after he ran over someone in a parking lot. Later, he told me he would rather me have taken a bat to his head than let him get into his car.
Knowing this cat, he would never have said this until he reached rock bottom. There is no bottom for alcoholics, just an empty glass that needs to be filled.

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable."
 

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It's a tough call around. I don't think the answer is holding the bartender, or bar liable. I worked at a slot bar on Fremont ST in Vegas, on graveyard shift. The owner never, EVER wanted me calling Police, for any reason.

I guy can come in at .13 BAC, I can't really tell. I serve him 3 or 4 more, now he's .20 or better. he leaves, I'm supposed to call Police ? What if this guy blew $1,000 and toked me $50+ ? I call cops I lose my customers and probably my job to ! How about if he's on credit loading a $ VP machine, and capable of dropping 3 dimes, or more ? I can't turn the guy in, as a bartender he gets as much as he wants to drink of whatever he wants, that's Vegas ! I left that town.

Most anyone leaving a bar at closing time ( where it exists) is over .08 BAC. I'd say 90% easily.

Many (rural) places really have no mass-transit, or taxi available. I don't have the magic answer. I say maybe 70% of all drivers at 2AM are "legally" drunk. :drink:
 

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you have friends???

... well i use to do the same, im not a religious fanatic, but after a real accident i had, with no hurts, but you have to see how that car was destroyed, anyways, i got a second chance to live, then i never drink and drive again period. but that was after that big scary accident. i don't deserve noone the whiplash i got. to understand the consequences of drinking and driving, it's very difficult to go out without a car, if the guy persists try to setup with him days that someone will be the designated driver.
 

She should know Don Ohnernees
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This is no-brainer......
General, first of all.....Does anyone from where you live post here and know who you are? If so, chances are, it might be a bad idea to call the police on your friend, only because of the reason...yes, your friend will come and try to kick your ass when he gets out (big deal, take an ass-woopin and maybe lose a friend) BUT EVERYONE LIVES.
Now, on the oher hand, if knowone knows, call anonymously from a payphone one night when you know he is out. Why is this so hard? Yes he's your friend from kinder-care but his chances are getting slimmer and slimmer each time he gets behind the wheel drunk. And, his good luck getting home each night/not hitting and killing himself or others will cease.
MAKE THE CALL!
 

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I dont think you guys who want him to call the police understand what 5 years in a state prison is like. its hell.

when he gets out his life will be significantly worse. all he'll have is his family to fall back on. employers WILL NOT TOUCH HIM WITH A TEN FOOT POLL. hell have to find some odd job type work.

and guess, what, he still will be an alcoholic, prison doesnt treat or cure that. and hell be miserable with his life and the experiences of prison. he'll drink even MORE.

calling the police= not the answer
prison=not the answer

AA is an excellent choice and probably this guys best hope. General, maybe you could offer to attend the first meeting with this guy. Or as suggested find another recovering alcoholic to help intervene and mentor the guy.
 

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general

call you local AA office. I'm sure they could have a recovering/recovered alcoholic give your friend a call and offer help.
 

She should know Don Ohnernees
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Did you mention how old this person is? Mr. Smith, I do agree with you if this person is (I don't know) 35 or older. That is just a guess. But, what are the laws like where you live General, try finding out this important info first....What are the worst case and best case scenarios for your friend if you do make the call.
We all know the outcome if your friend does not get the help he needs. Doe shis job offer help in the matter? Drinking as much as you say he does is a disease, most places of employment will help when they can too.
 

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Are you kidding???? 5 years in State prison is a hell of a lot better than living your life with the thought, you just took the life out of a 5 year old kid, or worse a whole family
Mr. Smith said:
I dont think you guys who want him to call the police understand what 5 years in a state prison is like. its hell.

when he gets out his life will be significantly worse. all he'll have is his family to fall back on. employers WILL NOT TOUCH HIM WITH A TEN FOOT POLL. hell have to find some odd job type work.

and guess, what, he still will be an alcoholic, prison doesnt treat or cure that. and hell be miserable with his life and the experiences of prison. he'll drink even MORE.

calling the police= not the answer
prison=not the answer

AA is an excellent choice and probably this guys best hope. General, maybe you could offer to attend the first meeting with this guy. Or as suggested find another recovering alcoholic to help intervene and mentor the guy.
 

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Let's all take the time and go and beat the shhit out of this clown until he's so fu(ked up that he won't be able to drive even if he is sober!!!!This guy is putting everybody in risk so lets go teach him a lesson!!! That is my 2 cents if you really want it!!!

Ghost for President 04"!!!
 

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