daughter / bf issues

[barman]

I believe that my challenge with your Philosophy is that I mistake the level of Pacifism within it.

I perceive it as "turn the other cheek" to way too high a degree.

"turn the other cheek" serves only one side of a Slap and that is the Slapper.

I have trouble believing any God or Wise Man would advise men to allow themselves to be abused.

I have no problem believing that "turn the other cheek" would be a thing the Slapper would say that God or Wise Men said to do.


"Follow The Money".....as is said.


Maybe you are not as Pacifist as I think you are.

Can only reply that no one ever slaps me. Significant conflict is so rare that in the couple times a year it seems to happen it stands out as an amusing story rather than anything truly troublesome.

And I am not insulated at home...I am actively in the business marketplace six, sometimes seven days,a week and have direct engagements with several hundred people a week......thousands if one adds in the many drivers who operate within my proximity during an average week of about 400 miles behind the wheel in Florida's most densely populated zone.

I will assure you that when I deliberately sought out arguments and stern disagreements I encountered many every day. Now it's just about never.

Visiting the ol' Rx forum to post a few Hot Sports Opinions and maybe 30min of chat per day with a cold Coca Cola in one hand and my trusty bong on the desk is about as heavy as I want to lift. Your own mileage may vary

 

[RenoChazz]

I didn't buy my first car until I was 24/25, not that I was a loser, I just wasn't very well off. I'd bet most of you didn't buy your first car without the help of mommy and Daddy until 24/25 too. If my girl friend had a car brought me over for dinner and what have you, then told me to take the bus home, I'd think she was a snob, or that she didn't really care that much about me. Doesn't mean that this kid is not loser, but that's not the impression I get from the OP.

I think the OP is probably right about the "helicopter mom" statement. I've heard that white people don't even let their kids play outside anymore, it has to be a supervised play date. When I was a kid I was out all day, and so are my kids. When I was 22 I was in Thailand with a bunch of Jarheads; one night we hitched a ride home from a bar on the back of mopeds, four of us on 4 separate mopeds plus the girl I brought home, it was a good times. It's very hard for me to imagine a universe where a 22 year old can't drive someone home at 11 O'clock. It's weird for me, that some of you can't see how this is way over the top of being over-protective parenting, and that this is somehow normal or the boyfriend's fault.

Imagine it was your daughter that went to her boyfriend's house, and that he had a car but made her take the bus home. Its a dick move not to give him a ride home. But really cut the cord! She's 22!

 

[barman]

So most everyone Replying to Chuck's thread thus far has all kinda 'advice' for the young 22 year old lad.

But in post #33, Chuck clarifies his OP and for him, it is not about the lad, it's about him disagreeing with his wife's personal choices.

When my own wife had the heart attack and subsequent quad bypass 4 yrs ago I was beseiged by family members and a few friends that I should be more attentive to my wife's behavior and make sure she 'stayed in line' with regard to diet, exercise, work hours etc etc et-fucking cetera.

A smaller group of much wiser friends and teachers suggested an alternative approach that frankly surprised me.

They advised doing Nothing with regard to 'making sure my wife did this, did that, didn't do this, didn't do that'. In short, I was advised that her personal choices were none of my damn business.

I embraced that advice and in past four years my (now 19 year) relationship w my wife was revolutionized. Her choices are all hers and she shows me the same respect.

It's frankly pretty awesome

Now Chuck, you did not ask me (or us) what to do here..but you did ask, Am I The Bad Guy?

My response - no you are not a bad guy. However as long as you burn energy trying to control your wife's (or anyone else on this planet, including your cat) behavior you will be a Bummed Guy.

Cheers from this coast over here to your coast out there!

 

[REDEYE]

I didn't buy my first car until I was 24/25, not that I was a loser, I just wasn't very well off. I'd bet most of you didn't buy your first car without the help of mommy and Daddy until 24/25 too. If my girl friend had a car brought me over for dinner and what have you, then told me to take the bus home, I'd think she was a snob, or that she didn't really care that much about me. Doesn't mean that this kid is not loser, but that's not the impression I get from the OP.

I think the OP is probably right about the "helicopter mom" statement. I've heard that white people don't even let their kids play outside anymore, it has to be a supervised play date. When I was a kid I was out all day, and so are my kids. When I was 22 I was in Thailand with a bunch of Jarheads; one night we hitched a ride home from a bar on the back of mopeds, four of us on 4 separate mopeds plus the girl I brought home, it was a good times. It's very hard for me to imagine a universe where a 22 year old can't drive someone home at 11 O'clock. It's weird for me, that some of you can't see how this is way over the top of being over-protective parenting, and that this is somehow normal or the boyfriend's fault.

Imagine it was your daughter that went to her boyfriend's house, and that he had a car but made her take the bus home. Its a dick move not to give him a ride home. But really cut the cord! She's 22!

Reno , I will admit I wasn't the brightest student and most likely wasn't going to college...so started working at 15 and had a car at 16..no help from anyone

 

[RenoChazz]

Reno , I will admit I wasn't the brightest student and most likely wasn't going to college...so started working at 15 and had a car at 16..no help from anyone

Yeah, but you're not average then. I had a few clunkers in between 18-24, most broke down after a while and weren't that reliable, and there was often times when I was without a car, I didn't have a real car that I could depend on until 24-25.

Do you think it's normal for a 22 year old not being able to drive at night, and needs mommy to do it for them?

 

[Bourn]

I can certainly see why people would agree with you and I am even somehow nearly successfully Remotely Brainwashed via barman's mystical "Live & Let Live", "Eradicate Stress by not concerning yourself with others" Vibe, Aura that his posts transfer but...

A Philosophy that's chief foundation Principle & Belief is:

"Just Kick Back and let whatever happens happen, concern yourself with nothing, attempt to Improve no one around you's Lives, Divorce Yourself completely from Concern about Everything" basically:

"Just Wash You Hands of Everything".

I don't know.........I kinda sense though that Deeper Dissection, Analysis of the barman philosophy is required to reach a valid conclusion, like, the same way you don't Cap Games based on just 1/10 of available information....

The Tranquil Exterior which is all we see via brief posts that reveal barman philosophy.....what lies beneath that exterior?

He has, on a few occasions, ventured past the just: "Aww fuck it, don't concern yourself with anything" exterior but not too many times.

Valid Question would be if the "Aww fuck it, don't concern yourself with anything" Philosophy is indeed "True Wisdom". There have been Prophets who suggested that at least some Form of this is just that.

For example: Buddha said: "Don't Worry about things that are beyond your Control to Change"

Good example of that is this ridiculous Anaheim Ducks/ Nashville Series.

I think one of the best single things you can do or try to adhere to is, "Live in the moment." Many people are either thinking about things in the past or thinking about the future. Future meaning 30 min from now, tomorrow, next week, month. You get the point. If you can master it then you will have a much more fulfilling life. It's hard, but with practice and attention you can do it. And it's awesome.

 

[REDEYE]

Yeah, but you're not average then. I had a few clunkers in between 18-24, most broke down after a while and weren't that reliable, and there was often times when I was without a car, I didn't have a real car that I could depend on until 24-25.

Do you think it's normal for a 22 year old not being able to drive at night, and needs mommy to do it for them?

no I don't

 

[Bourn]

My first car was a 1970 Nova. My uncle bought it from a neighbor down the street who was moving. The engine was seized, but I come from a family of mechanics. They build custom street rods now. I grew up around racing dirt bikes and fast cars. The Nova was $50 btw. Lasted a couple of years until I completely destroyed it driving like an asshole.

 

[barman]

I think one of the best single things you can do or try to adhere to is, "Live in the moment." Many people are either thinking about things in the past or thinking about the future. Future meaning 30 min from now, tomorrow, next week, month. You get the point. If you can master it then you will have a much more fulfilling life. It's hard, but with practice and attention you can do it. And it's awesome.

Just completed The Power of Now for third time in three years. Now doing The New Earth for same recycle.

The past is a complete fiction as is the future. Spending inordinate time thinking of either ( or both) creates significant resistance and therefore is a real drag on our present state of being

 

[Bourn]

So most everyone Replying to Chuck's thread thus far has all kinda 'advice' for the young 22 year old lad.

But in post #33, Chuck clarifies his OP and for him, it is not about the lad, it's about him disagreeing with his wife's personal choices.

When my own wife had the heart attack and subsequent quad bypass 4 yrs ago I was beseiged by family members and a few friends that I should be more attentive to my wife's behavior and make sure she 'stayed in line' with regard to diet, exercise, work hours etc etc et-fucking cetera.

A smaller group of much wiser friends and teachers suggested an alternative approach that frankly surprised me.

They advised doing Nothing with regard to 'making sure my wife did this, did that, didn't do this, didn't do that'. In short, I was advised that her personal choices were none of my damn business.

I embraced that advice and in past four years my (now 19 year) relationship w my wife was revolutionized. Her choices are all hers and she shows me the same respect.

It's frankly pretty awesome

Now Chuck, you did not ask me (or us) what to do here..but you did ask, Am I The Bad Guy?

My response - no you are not a bad guy. However as long as you burn energy trying to control your wife's (or anyone else on this planet, including your cat) behavior you will be a Bummed Guy.

Cheers from this coast over here to your coast out there!

Control the controllable. I read ml dog say that somewhere here. And live in the moment. Start there is my advice for most.

 

[Bourn]

Just completed The Power of Now for third time in three years. Now doing The New Earth for same recycle.

The past is a complete fiction as is the future. Spending inordinate time thinking of either ( or both) creates significant resistance and therefore is a real drag on our present state of being

word

 

[barman]

My first car was a 1970 Nova. My uncle bought it from a neighbor down the street who was moving. The engine was seized, but I come from a family of mechanics. They build custom street rods now. I grew up around racing dirt bikes and fast cars. The Nova was $50 btw. Lasted a couple of years until I completely destroyed it driving like an asshole.

My first rig was a 1968 Tbird with a 420 4bb....Paid $300 in 1976 and drove it for a couple years.

In Richardson (or anywhere outside Dallas city limits) there was no public bus system until DART expanded in early 90s

 

[barman]

Control the controllable. I read ml dog say that somewhere here. And live in the moment. Start there is my advice for most.

He did say that.

And in another thread he has posted somewhere around 5000+ words over 30 posts hoping to influence the public restroom habits of people in North Carolina.

His ultimate dharma is somewhere in between...heh

 

[Bourn]

He did say that.

And in another thread he has posted somewhere around 5000+ words over 30 posts hoping to influence the public restroom habits of people in North Carolina.

His ultimate dharma is somewhere in between...heh

Lol. I wish ML dogs posts came with cliff notes

 

[Bourn]

My first rig was a 1968 Tbird with a 420 4bb....Paid $300 in 1976 and drove it for a couple years.

In Richardson (or anywhere outside Dallas city limits) there was no public bus system until DART expanded in early 90s

thats a pretty good looking car.

https://www.google.com/search?q=196...AUICCgC&biw=667&bih=331#imgrc=3T7azEcdYmUjiM:

Did it look like that? Muscle cars are Badass. Love em

 

[barman]

thats a pretty good looking car.

https://www.google.com/search?q=196...AUICCgC&biw=667&bih=331#imgrc=3T7azEcdYmUjiM:

Did it look like that? Muscle cars are Badass. Love em

Mine was the four door which for a couple years, along with the matching body Lincoln Mark had the rear doors open in reverse. Can't easily post pic from phone

 

[ML Dog]

I think one of the best single things you can do or try to adhere to is, "Live in the moment." Many people are either thinking about things in the past or thinking about the future. Future meaning 30 min from now, tomorrow, next week, month. You get the point. If you can master it then you will have a much more fulfilling life. It's hard, but with practice and attention you can do it. And it's awesome.

The only real obstacle for me with what you say and barman philosophy is just as the two of you have evolved to where you have, the understanding that you have, I have also evolved to a place where I know that Youth is like an Incubation Chamber designed to accomplish Development of a Human being and if as Carefree a Youth as possible can be accomplished then a person has the best chance of developing as well as possible.

Past the question of protecting Youth (& Women, because they give birth) from the dangers that can be averted, such as inviting hundreds of thousands of barbarians into our country who want to kill us or encouraging/allowing potential perverts to use Women's bathrooms I'm on pretty much the same page as barman and what you say above.

My realization was thatthat to not make protecting Youth our highest priority andallowing ourselves to continue the evolutionary path that we are currently on wherein Youth gets trespassed upon and also young people grow up too fast was among the most primary things that caused our country to become the next Roman Empire and crash to the ground so....

...just trying to stave that off but the dye is likely already cast, our path already inevitably set so we may as well just let anyone use whatever bathroom they want to, release all the pedophiles onto the street and just keep on fiddling while Rome Burns as we are doing now bcuz that is all that 8 out of 10 people who occupy this country today are capable of anyway.

And very few really actually care.


We have to pretend to Care...of course.


To present that proper facade.

 

[barman]

Was only muscle engine car I've ever owned.

Bought it with money from my first biweekly paycheck (at 7-11) at age 16 without even telling my parents. Picked it up in morning and that evening took my first personal drive out to the then Temple -- Arlington Stadium - for a Rangers game

 

[ML Dog]

in another thread he has posted somewhere around 5000+ words hoping to influence the public restroom habits of people in North Carolina.

 

[barman]

Our youth do not need our protection unless we fear they can be harmed.

They enter this time space reality at the highest level of evolution for any humans to date.

They are more closely aligned with Source energy (God, if u prefer) at birth than we are, that is for sure. Our primary job, IMHO is to do as little as possible to impede that alignment.

Telling my children there are reasons to fear would be a gross dereliction of what I know to be otherwise.