Reponses from Prominent Americans:
Former Criminal Mayor of Balt = "If only they had read my series of children's books...by the way those are availabe on Amazon"
Michelle Obama = "It looked like they had some nice shopping areas in the riot zone"
Chicago Mayor = "Please cover this instead of the 85 shootings in Chicago last weekend"
Joe Biden = "American must come together in the spirit of love"
CNN = "This is the America that Trump has created where young black men know that their only option is the beat and rob other black people"
AOC = "Climate change has raised the annual mean temperature in Maryland by .003% so what do you expect from these people"
Colin Kapernick = "Sorry, my girlfriend hasn't told me what to say yet"
Rachel Meadow = "Did you see that hot black girl in the tank top...whoa"
Megan McCain = "My father was a hero and he was famous...I don't have anything else to say as I have to get to the buffet"
Al Sharpton = "Please, some white person white an obsentity on a black girl and throw her in the dumpster"
Robert Mueller = "I'm not saying there are no crimes here, but there just isn't enougth evidence to prove a crime so I can't say anymore"
Mayor Pete = "This looks like Fire Island when Tom Cruise, Johnny Bench, John Travolta, Kevin Spacey, Diddy, Jaime Foxx, Gerald Nadler, Russell Westbook, Tyler Perry, Kenny Chesny, any guy involved with Nicole Kidman, James Franco/Zac Efron, Vin Diesel Dan Patrick, Meg Griffin, Tony LaRussa or Nancy Pelosi shows up"