Ok Valerie, it's time to step in and be Mommy. Stop this madness of your 15 year old son going on tour with the legendary VH.
No one here thinks Daddy won't get a little F'd up out on the road? No one here thinks old women still living in the '80's won't try and pop little Wolfie's cherry? Drugs, Alcohol, F'd up women. How ya going to keep a 15 year old away from this? Your not.
"Ok Wolfie, jam session is over now. Run back to the bus and catch some shut eye, Daddy's got a bottle of whiskey to polish off and a bitches name on my knob for her to polish off as well. Good Night little Wolfie."
What the Fuck? Sorry guys, I just can't bring myself to see this show. This is sad sad sad. I know some of you will defend little Wolfie and say "Give him a chance". Uh hello, 15 fuckin' years old people! Yeah Yeah, buy March he'll be 16. So what, doesn't change my position. Sammy had it right, if Eddie wants to help Wolfie launch some kind of career, this is not the wise way to do it by throwing him out on tour with a 'shell of what they were' legendary band like Van Halen.
And Roth. Don't get me started there. Simply put. What's the betting line on whether or not they finish the tour with Roth in the line up? Roth is a big fuckin' PRICK! No way in hell can Eddie tour with Roth without being screwed up, nice roll model there Daddy-O!
Getting rid of Mike Anthony just because he talks with Hagar. Jeezus, talk about insecurity. Now I know loyalty is a huge thing with the VH brothers, but come on, they weren't doing anything at all for almost a decade and what is Mike Anthony suppose to do? Go down with the Titanic and drown? I think Mike Anthony's position during the whole time was, " Hey fella's, when your ready to get off your ass and want to produce some great music, give me a call because I'm bored and aging away over here."
I bet these Van Halen concerts get terrible reveiews and it won't take long for word to get out just how sucky they are and the attendance will drop.
David Lee Roth - Old recycled prick of a bitch who can't sing anywhere near like he used too. You'll see.
Wolfie - 15. Please make sure you don't get rodded in the contracts little boy. Make sure a Harry Potter book is part of the deal.
Eddie - Well Eddie, what can I say. You've really turned out to be a turd. Oh, you can throw a coat of paint on the turd, but it's still a turd. And what's up your looks? Hope your not on meth or heroine, Daddy-O.
Alex - Nice job brother for keeping little bro in check. Always thought you were smarter. Loyalty brother, loyalty!!!! Hey fuck the emergency row boats, lets go down with the ship and fuckin' die.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I present you VAN HALEN.