I beat my wife on account that she's fucking stupid.
My wife is fucking stupid. All the time she is saying dumb things like "oh, i need to got to work" and "your penis is tearing my anus" and my favorite, "when you get drunk and throw whiskey bottles at the kids, I think it may hurt their self esteem". Well fuck that. This bitch is clearly no Marcus Welbey or Mr. Checkov.
Like the other day, the family dog is humping my leg, so I got off its fucking balls. The dog is howling and bleeding all over and my bitch says "maybe that was a bit much". Shit! Don't that bitch know nothin.
Yesterday I was shoin my gun to one of the neighbor kids, and she say " don't you think little joey is too small to hold your shotgun". Well, that just fucking did it. I took her in the house and smacked that bitch until she was good and hurt. It's up to the smart guys like me to keep stupid people in line.