Hondo
Hondo still ‘excellerating’
Hondo roared out of the gate Sunday, charging to an 8-0 mark in the 1 o’clock tussles before settling for 9-6 record that nevertheless enabled him to gain ground on the fading Drew “No Can Do” Loftis.
As for the Best Bets, Mr. Aitch was able to hold onto his half of the top perch by nailing two of his three choices, which is what HondoNation expects from the defending BB champ.
Jets over 49ers: It’s tough to roll with Gang Green after Monday night’s debacle against the Colts. Fortunately for the Jets, the ratings are down this year so fewer viewers saw them waving the white flag for the full 60 minutes.
Then again, it’s equally difficult to back the 1-11 Niners, who are starting Kneel Kaepernick even though he was benched in the fourth quarter in Chicago for completing 1 of 5 passes for a whopping 4 yards. However, in fairness to Kaepernick, he obviously was still grief-stricken because of the death of Fidel Castro.
And the winner is: The Jets, who have no incentive to lose, as opposed to the Niners, who are still in the running for the No. 1 pick in the draft.
Cowboys over Giants: Ben “Big Suit” McAdoo had no problem with Odell Beckham Jr. enjoying his pal Antonio Brown’s touchdown celebration during the Giants’ loss to the Steelers. McAdoo interpreted the OBJ smile as: “Hey, he made his play and now let’s go make ours.” Hondo and others had a different interpretation: “Hey, look at my buddy celebrating his TD. Isn’t that’s great! Who cares about my teammate, Leon Hall, getting burned on the play, or that we’re down 11-0?”
OBJ’s objectionable behavior continued this week when he trotted out the tired Stevie Wonder-referee joke, proving himself to be out of touch and tone deaf on tasteless blind jokes that don’t pass the smell test.
Titans over Broncos: Joe Biden is threatening to run for president in 2020. Apparently, the ol’ skinny-dipper knows he’s going to miss doing those naked cannonballs he enjoyed doing in front of his female Secret Service agents.
Panthers over Chargers: Actress Michelle Williams used her upcoming cover story in Elle to complain about the lack of privacy that comes with fame. Said Williams: “There’s … a guardedness that’s just death.” There’s only one way to alleviate such a problem: Pose for more magazine covers.
Colts over Texans: President Obama made the claim to CNN this week he didn’t see the rise of ISIS and its ability to “initiate major land offensives … on my intelligence radar screen.” That’s understandable; after all, who pays any attention to the J.V. team?
Obama says if he had listened to the intel briefings he would have stopped ISIS in its tracks by drawing “a red line.”
Bengals over Browns: Ohio’s State Senate voted 31-0 in favor of bill banning sex with animals. Who says the nation is divided? The only drawback to the bill is that the state’s tourism revenue will take a hit now that it no longer will be a destination point for bestiality enthusiasts.
Steelers over Bills: Newly re-elected House Minority leader Nancy Pelosi told CBS News: “I don’t think people want a new direction.” Says Odell: Even Ray Charles can see that’s not true.
Dolphins over Cardinals: Jimmy Kimmel will replace Chris Rock this year as host of the Academy Awards. Apparently, the producers weren’t affected much by the #OscarsSoWhite movement.
Bears over Lions: Experts expect Sofia Vergara to prevail in the right-to-live suit filed by her frozen embryos, aka Emma and Isabella, and ex-fiance Nick Loeb, Of course, that could change if lawyers for “the girls” are able to seat a jury of their peers, namely, 12 angry embryos.
Vikings over Jaguars: The Vikings, who have gone from 5-0 to 6-6, are desperate for a “W,” so they should be a safe bet since they’re visiting Jacksonville, an NFL sanctuary city for opponents.
Saints over Buccaneers: According to the City Health Department, school cafeterias are infested with rodents and roaches. Maybe it’s time for administrators to give the kids vouchers to eat at Mickey D’s so they don’t have to eat with Mickey Mouse. That said, the schools’ ratatouille is said to be quite tasty.
Redskins over Eagles: Washington quarterback Kirk Cousins is known for his screaming postgame catchphrases, such as: “You like that?” and: “How do you like me now?” After Sunday’s failure to cover against the Cards, the answers from ’Skin backers are: “No,” and “Not in the least.”
Packers over Seahawks: Anthony “Ridiculous Bulge” Weiner reportedly is broke and looking for work, although that may be unnecessary. Pending the FBI’s investigation of him allegedly sexting with a 15-year-old girl, he may be receiving free room and board for the next several years.
Falcons over Rams: The recounts are going badly, Donald Trump has the stock market booming, and Hillary Clinton came in second again to El Donaldo, this time in the race for Time’s Person of the Year. Oh, the humanity! What will this do to all the wound-licking ’Crats? There aren’t nearly enough therapists to handle the demand.
Ravens over Patriots: Bryce Harper of the Nationals reportedly wants a 10-year $400 million contract when he becomes a free agent in 2018. If he has a season in 2017 like he had in 2016 — .243 average, 24 homers and 86 RBIs — and gets the deal, he would become a serious challenger to Roger “$44M-A-Year” Goodell as The World’s Most Overpaid Man.
Best bets: Colts, Bengals, Steelers
Thursday: Chiefs (W)