My Master Cleanse Diary

Search

Breaking Bad Snob
Joined
Dec 5, 2004
Messages
13,430
Tokens
6/28 Wednesday AM

Well...at least I made it until my alarm clock went off.

Poo Tracker: 57 total hours, 7 total poos= 1 poo every 8.14 hours.

The headache is gone. I don't feel too bad this morning, but am dreading the salt water flush and that nasty lemonade. Or should I call it Cayenneade?

Everything is all set, so I'm off to work.
 

Breaking Bad Snob
Joined
Dec 5, 2004
Messages
13,430
Tokens
6/28 Wednesday PM

This is essentially a water fast now, with the exception of the Senna tea. I whipped up a batch of lemonade and the salt water and didn't even attempt to drink it because I knew what was going to happen.

All I can think about is quitting, so I've made a deal with myself. I am coming off this MFer after day 5. From then, I am quitting sugar, caffeine, and eating like a fucking animal. If I had been doing that from the start, I wouldn't be in this miserable situation.

I have a delicious recipe for Libyan Soup that I can alter a little bit and make it virtually fat free and very low calorie. I'll eat that and fruit only for the other 5 days.

I didn't weigh, but my pants are noticably more loose
 

New member
Joined
Dec 7, 2005
Messages
6,145
Tokens
First off DEC, I have respect for you. I doubt I could last 12 hours on this thing. You or anyone that could do this for more than a day is one tough customer.

This is from the link up top. I have some observations and questions about each of these detox symptoms.

1. Cravings — I have only known one or two people to be hungry on this cleanse. Drinking more lemonade or water handles that. I have, however, observed that people on the cleanse crave what they are detoxifying. Proof that this is true is that the cravings usually go away the next morning with bowel movements. You can crave anything when detoxifying, but most likely you will experience cravings for the most toxic foods, such as pizza, hamburgers, barbeque ribs, etc.

Most toxic foods? I suppose if you get your food from a trash bin from Hanford it might be toxic, otherwise these are just foods humans have been eating for thousands of years. What is so toxic about ribs?

2. Tiredness — When your body fights toxins, whether from detoxifying or an infection, it diverts energy into healing and away from the energy you use to work and play. On my first 20 day cleanse, I was not tired except on the fifteenth day. The next morning, I experienced heat in my bowel movements, an indication that acidic toxins were being eliminated. I also lost all sense of tiredness.

Basically this "cleanse" deprives a person of the essential nutrients required for the body to operate. Hence, tiredness. Heat in the bowl movements? I wonder if drinking lots of pepper water has anything to do with that?

3. Irritability — This includes the desire to "just chew something solid."

Irritable from starving? I think that has someting to do with a survival instinct. But I could be wrong.

4. Physical aches, pains, nausea, vomiting, etc. — These are the most severe reactions and only occur where a person is severely toxic, only a small percentage of people experience these. Fortunately, these have gone away after only a day or two in every case I have heard about.

Severly toxic? Like glow in the dark toxic? Seems like aches and pains could be your body eating it's own muscle and cartlidge in an atttempt to stay alive. The pain is a signal to go hunt and chow down.

5. Hot bowel movements — Your body wastes are acidic and when you eliminate the most toxic ones, they actually feel anywhere from warm to burning. This experience is very infrequent, but worth mentioning because hot bowel movements after a day of heavy detox symptoms will confirm that you just eliminated significant toxins.

What about the human body is not acidic? Can't say I ever heard of someone being alkaline, but I ain't one of them learned folk. Again with the hot poo. Cayenne pepper is damn hot. Seems like consuming a bunch of cayenne pepper could lead to the burn.
 

Breaking Bad Snob
Joined
Dec 5, 2004
Messages
13,430
Tokens
6/29 Thursday AM

I'm not even going to waste my time mixing up the lemonade. If I get really desperate over the next two days, I'll mix it up without the cayenne so I can drink it.

Instead of 2 tsp of salt water in 32 oz of water, I'm going the route of splitting up 64 oz of water and putting one tsp in each. It will still suck, but the taste will be more bearable.

Warning- Information you probably don't want to know:

All these bowel movements are really making my "chute" sore.
I don't think an ass has seen this much action since Richard Gere's last shaved gerbil party.

End Information you probably don't want to know.

Two more days...
 

Breaking Bad Snob
Joined
Dec 5, 2004
Messages
13,430
Tokens
6/29 Thursday PM

Well, it's not so bad. I weighed 229 1/2 this morning, even after drinking 64 oz. of salt water. I'm back to taking the lemonade minus the cayenne. I'm just trying to get through this. I know I've violated the spirit of the cleanse because the cayenne was an important part.

While I haven't completely lost the urge to eat, I'm not hungry at all. I'm a little irritable, weak and sleepy. Also, I've had a few zits pop up.

Despite all this, my mind seems to be pretty clear. I feel more sharp and have a better memory...or so it seems.

This is the best I've felt during the whole time, but I'm still ready for it to be over.

I spent a little time calculating how much money I spent on Diet Mountain Dew. I figured it was close to $700 a year. No more. Having gone this long without caffeine, I feel like I've broke the addiction and I'm not letting it happen again.
 

Breaking Bad Snob
Joined
Dec 5, 2004
Messages
13,430
Tokens
6/30 Friday AM

It's almost over!!

Poo Talk:
Even into my 5th, there is some "substance" to my bathroom visits. The food I ate over the weekend is long gone, so it appears I'm dispelling stuff that has been hanging around for a while.
End Poo Talk

For 2.46 seconds, I actually considered extended the cleanse a few days until I'm more cleared out. However, that notion went away pretty quickly. I still won't be able to eat until Saturday morning, but what a glorious breakfast it will be.
 

Their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip to be Square.
Joined
Dec 29, 2005
Messages
6,193
Tokens
Death Eats a Cracker said:
6/30 Friday AM

It's almost over!!

Poo Talk:
Even into my 5th, there is some "substance" to my bathroom visits. The food I ate over the weekend is long gone, so it appears I'm dispelling stuff that has been hanging around for a while.
End Poo Talk

For 2.46 seconds, I actually considered extended the cleanse a few days until I'm more cleared out. However, that notion went away pretty quickly. I still won't be able to eat until Saturday morning, but what a glorious breakfast it will be.

You will eat like a machine and your stomach will end up feeling horrible.:nopityA: :nopityA: :nopityA: :nopityA: :nopityA:

GL.
 

sd2

New member
Joined
Sep 21, 2004
Messages
1,928
Tokens
Hope you can hang in the last few days.

I've done fasts and cleanses over a number of years, not this one tho.

There is a cayenne tablet called "Cool Cayenne." Sold in most health food stores. The heat is removed.

If you ever should opt again to cleanse, the next time you may wish to try what I think is a somewhat less frenetic cleanse, the Arise 'n Shine approach.

There is a pre-cleanse period, varies by "experience," and a seven day fast and cleanse. If you take the herbal stuff you should not feel any hunger

Ingredients consist of something called Herbal Nutrition, Chomper, Liquid Chlorophyll, Cool Cayenne, Bentonite and Psyllium Husks. All available at some Health stores, or online.

The first time people do this they often eliminate many lbs of hardened, encrusted (on the walls of the large intestine, and up to the illium) fecal matter, often with the appearance of peeled tire rubber. Some evacuate
20 feet and more of this stuff.

If you become experienced at it, you may also see in later cleanses little white/yellow "popcorn" - appearing stuff ------ lymph waste.

People really have not been eating hamburgers, etc for thousands of years. With white bread? Shit that has been around for maybe a hundred years. And meat stuffed with growth hormones, antibiotics, preservatives .... if your ancestors subsisted on that "diet" you likely would not be around right now
 

Breaking Bad Snob
Joined
Dec 5, 2004
Messages
13,430
Tokens
I ended up at 227, which is 10 1/2 less than the starting weight. Considering that I went on an eating binge prior to starting, I'm pretty much at the same point before I started.

However, I have re-newed energy in my fight against caffeine and sugar. If I can kick those habits, I know I'll be much healthier in the end.

Thanks to all for the words of support. There is absolutely ZERO chance that I'll ever do anything like this again.

:suomi:
 

New member
Joined
Jan 5, 2005
Messages
3,985
Tokens
I wish that I had seen this earlier. I do this exact fast every year and your thoughts mimic mine. It is damn hard but the benefits are real. I would have warned you but for me watching tv is the worst all the damn food commercials. Weekends are also much tougher as you have more time to sit around and think about eating. If you decide to try this again, and over time you might consider it, you will find that it will be easier than before. I don't do 10 days anymore, just mon - fri. For me part of this is just me feeling pretty good that I have the self discipline to do it.

BTW the white toungue is actually a good thing, it means that you are detoxifying...
 

New member
Joined
Sep 21, 2004
Messages
8,271
Tokens
Death Eats a Cracker said:
I ended up at 227, which is 10 1/2 less than the starting weight. Considering that I went on an eating binge prior to starting, I'm pretty much at the same point before I started.

However, I have re-newed energy in my fight against caffeine and sugar. If I can kick those habits, I know I'll be much healthier in the end.

Thanks to all for the words of support. There is absolutely ZERO chance that I'll ever do anything like this again.

:suomi:

DEAC...Surely caffeine and sugar cannot be as bad for you as your internal lust for beautiful asian women....but good luck...we have very similar vices, plus Tool and college football.
 

Living...vicariously through myself.
Joined
May 20, 2005
Messages
8,456
Tokens
Death Eats a Cracker said:
6/29 Thursday AM

I'm not even going to waste my time mixing up the lemonade. If I get really desperate over the next two days, I'll mix it up without the cayenne so I can drink it.

Instead of 2 tsp of salt water in 32 oz of water, I'm going the route of splitting up 64 oz of water and putting one tsp in each. It will still suck, but the taste will be more bearable.

Warning- Information you probably don't want to know:

All these bowel movements are really making my "chute" sore.
I don't think an ass has seen this much action since Richard Gere's last shaved gerbil party.

End Information you probably don't want to know.

Two more days...


Ahh yes....the dreaded "sting ring"
 

New member
Joined
Dec 27, 2004
Messages
2,220
Tokens
interesting read their man,, especially for a guy who just finished an 11 day cleanse himself a couple months ago.. I couldn't help but chuckle a bit at the part where you had to open your door and puke in heavy traffic.. I've been there,, but due to a nasty hangover, not chugging that salt water. If you ever want to try a cleanse again and don't mind spending $150 bucks on it.. look for my Isagenix cleanse thread posted a couple months back,, its got all the details in it.... all the drinks they give you (chocolate protein and ice tea flavoured juice) are chalk full of nutrients, and most days you are allowed a small meal.. absolutely the best I've ever felt since I've finished it and will be doing it once a year from now on.. best of luck on kicking that caffeine habit
 

Breaking Bad Snob
Joined
Dec 5, 2004
Messages
13,430
Tokens
Well, I have successfully defeated caffeine and for the most part sugar. I have altogether quit eating processed sugar loaded foods like ice cream, candy bars, etc. I had planned to allow my self one treat every two weeks, but when the time came I didn't want to do it out of guilt. Instead, I went to Cold Stone and had a sugar free malt.

One thing I've noticed since I've quit caffeine is that I get a lot more sleep. I had no idea how caffeine was disrupting my system. I work a rotating schedule and during work days while on day shift I have to get up around 4am. This was difficult because I ususally wouldn't go to bed until midnight-1am. I had to do this, because if I went to bed early, I would sleep for an hour or so and then be wide awake the rest of the night. Now I go to bed between 9:30-10:30. That reason alone will keep me off caffeine forever.

Vancouver Fan, I'll check out your thread.
 

Forum statistics

Threads
1,120,706
Messages
13,585,700
Members
101,005
Latest member
mr_eskimo
The RX is the sports betting industry's leading information portal for bonuses, picks, and sportsbook reviews. Find the best deals offered by a sportsbook in your state and browse our free picks section.FacebookTwitterInstagramContact Usforum@therx.com