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Worst State for Football: Iowa?
<table class="storyHeader" style="" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"> <tbody><tr> <td class="storyInfo" style="" valign="top"> Dec. 1, 2008
By Cameron Martin
SPiN Contributor </td> <td class="storySponsor"> <table width="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tbody><tr><td><!-- AD_TAG_FEAT=off -->
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We all know that California, Texas, Ohio and Pennsylvania are some of the best states for football, given their impressive consistency in producing high school, college and NFL stars. But what are the worst states for football? And what the hell is the matter with them? [/FONT]
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Over the course of the next few months, we're going to take a look at the 13 states that haven't produced a Hall of Fame football player. In the interests of full disclosure, the total is actually 14, but one of them (Delaware) merely consists of tolls, bridges and signs for Atlantic City, so we're gonna skip them. [/FONT]
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(Editor's note: No, we're going to address Delaware, too.) [/FONT]
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Beginning today with Iowa, we're going to review the states that have yet to send anyone to Canton, along with 1) the possible reasons, 2) reasons the state could still be considered a football-friendly place, and 3) reasons the state could be considered the Worst State for Football. [/FONT]
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Now, you may know a thing or two about football, and you might be tempted to say, "But Iowa has produced a Hall of Famer. Three of them, in fact: Paul Krause, Andre Tippett, and Emlen 'The Gremlin' Tunnell." But you'd be wrong. Sure, those gentlemen once lived in the Hawkeye State, played football for the University of Iowa, and kicked some occasional ass. But they weren't born in Iowa, and place of birth is how the Pro Football Hall of Fame lists its inductees. [/FONT]
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Lest you accuse us of hating on the little states, please note this: Population isn't the only influence on a state's ability to produce a Hall of Fame football player. Tiny little Connecticut (my home state) has produced two immortals (Ken Strong, Andy Robustelli), while a big tough battleground state like Colorado has only sent one guy to Canton (Earl "Dutch" Clark). [/FONT]
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Wake up, Colorado, you've got the same number of Hall of Famers as Guam (Ted Hendricks) and Norway (Jan Stenerud). [/FONT]
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Anyway, in honor of the state that kicks off the presidential race every four years, let's kick off with Ashton Kutcher's home turf, asking, "Worst State for Football: Iowa?" [/FONT]
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[FONT=Arial, Helvetica] Iowa (population: 2.9 million, 30th in the nation) [/FONT]
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Warner gives the state of Iowa a great shot at having a Hall of Famer, but it's certainly not a lock. (Getty Images) </td> <td width="15"> </td> </tr> </tbody></table>[FONT=Arial, Helvetica]
Entered the union: 1846 [/FONT]
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Number of NFL players all-time: 279, according to Pro-Football-Reference.com. [/FONT]
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Number of active players: 17. [/FONT]
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Best active player: Kurt Warner. [/FONT]
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Best active draft bust: Robert Gallery. [/FONT]
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Other Iowans you'll occasionally see on SportsCenter: Dallas Clark, Kyle Vanden Bosch, Darren Sproles, Nate Kaeding. [/FONT]
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Name you'd never give your son: Sage Rosenfels. [/FONT]
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Best retired player: Roger Craig. The Davenport native was the first NFL player with more than 1,000 yards rushing and receiving in the same season (1985), and bruised countless groins with his high-knee running style. Finished his 11-year career with 8189 yards rushing, 56 rushing TDs, 4,911 yards receiving, 566 receptions, and 17 receiving TDs. [/FONT]
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Why isn't he in Canton? Because he's suspected of killing Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. Wait, that's O.J. Simpson, who also played for the Niners. Craig's not in the Hall of Fame because he didn't have a long period of sustained greatness. He was All-Pro once and made four Pro Bowls, but he doesn't rank in the top 25 in career rushing yardage. And once Larry Centers came along and caught all those passes out of the backfield, Craig's reception total looked unimpressive or something. [/FONT]
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Other good players not invited to wear yellow blazers: Steve Bartkowski, Ed Podolak, Bryce Paup, Reggie Roby, Don Perkins, Marv Cook, Don Chandler, Jay Hilgenberg. [/FONT]
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Best prospect for future induction: Warner. The guy's a two-time NFL MVP, piloted the Rams to two Super Bowls (winning one), and Christ is his co-pilot. If Joe Namath can get into Canton with more career interceptions than touchdowns, then Warner's candidacy can't be dismissed -- especially since he's going to win his third MVP this season. [/FONT]
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Chances Warner will make the Hall: 1 in 3, and that's if he retired today. If Matt Leinart keeps pouring beer bongs to underage girls, Warner might hold onto the starting gig in AZ for a while. And with Pro Bowl players at the wideout positions (Larry Fitz, Boldin), he certainly has the capability of amassing sexy statistics for several more years. [/FONT]
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Beyond Warner, what active Iowan has the best shot at the Hall of Fame? Kyle Orton. (The Neck Beard Hall of Fame, that is.) [/FONT]
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Sure, they have no Hall of Famers, but in their defense ... Iowa has the highest average radon concentrations in the nation due to significant glaciation that ground the granitic rocks from the Canadian Shield and deposited it as soils making up the rich Iowa farmland. (Source: Wikipedia) [/FONT]
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That's no excuse for lame football. After all ... John Wayne was born in Iowa and he went on to kill lots of bad guys. [/FONT]
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College teams: University of Iowa, Iowa State, Northern Iowa. [/FONT]
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What's great about those schools? Not much. Iowa hasn't played in a Rose Bowl since 1991 and hasn't won the game since 1959. Meanwhile, Iowa State's Cy the Mascot was awarded CBS Sports.com's 2007 award for "Most Dominant College Mascot on Earth." [/FONT]
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Yeah, and? And nothing. Good for Cy. [/FONT]
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If Howie Long is in the Hall, why isn't ... Elmer Layden of Davenport, Iowa? Good question. Here are Mr. Layden's credentials: One of Notre Dame's Four Horsemen, he coached Notre Dame from 1934 to 1940, then became the first commissioner of the NFL (1941-1946). So basically if he'd played baseball, he'd be Joe Tinker + Miller Huggins + Kenesaw Mountain Landis, all of whom are enshrined in Cooperstown. [/FONT]
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Heisman winner(s): Nile Kinnick, 1939, University of Iowa. Perhaps Kinnick, a native of Adel, Iowa, would be in the Hall of Fame right now, but he died in a plane crash during World War II. [/FONT]
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Professional teams: None. [/FONT]
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Minor league teams of note: Sioux City Bandits of the Indoor Football League. Fred Jackson, running back for the Bills (and bench warmer for my fantasy team, The Buddhist Badasses), played for the Bandits a few years ago. [/FONT]
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The Bandits' big rival: The Omaha Beef. And yes, they sell team merchandise. [/FONT]
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The only word that rhymes with Iowa is ... Iowa. [/FONT]
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Here's the first stanza of the Iowa state song, aptly titled The Song of Iowa: [/FONT]
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You asked what land I love the best, Iowa, tis Iowa,
The fairest State of all the west, Iowa, O! Iowa,
From yonder Mississippi's stream
To where Missouri's waters gleam
O! fair it is as poet's dream, Iowa, in Iowa. [/FONT]
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That song ... sucks, yes. [/FONT]
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While Feller is the most well-known non-football player from Iowa, don't ask anyone under 60-years old about his play. (Getty Images) </td> <td width="15"> </td> </tr> </tbody></table>[FONT=Arial, Helvetica]
Most well-known athlete who didn't play football: Bob Feller. [/FONT]
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However, Sports Illustrated says ... the best athlete in state history is Dan Gable, who coached the University of Iowa to nine consecutive NCAA titles and 15 overall, after rolling around with guys himself as a collegian. [/FONT]
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Reason(s) the state should still be considered football-friendly: The Telephone Trophy. [/FONT]
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"When the coaches' field phones were tested prior to the 1959 Iowa State-Missouri football game in Ames, it was found that the teams could hear one another," according to the Iowa State athletic department website. "The problem was solved by game time, but not without considerable worry on the part of the coaching staff. The Northwestern Bell Telephone Co. of Ames had a trophy made after the field phone controversy and it continues to be presented today to the winner of the game between ISU and Mizzou." [/FONT]
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Zzzz ... wait, what, Iowa has cell phone service? [/FONT]
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Thing(s) that just might happen at an Iowa football game: Sex in the bathroom with a married mother of three. Well, that's if Lois Feldman is in the house, police say. Feldman, a 38-year-old Iowa football fan, was recently arrested with a 26-year-old man in a handicapped bathroom stall during the Iowa-Minnesota game in Minneapolis. A security guard came across the handi-capable duo (who were drunk, believe it or not, and didn't even know each other's names) and they were subsequently arrested. Feldman was released into the custody of her husband, while the 26-year-old man, Ross Walsh, was given high fives by every male in Minnesota. [/FONT]
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Reason(s) Iowa could be considered the Worst State for Football: Kansas, Nebraska and West Virginia all have smaller populations than Iowa, yet together they've produced 11 Hall of Famers. [/FONT]
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Who cares if the state isn't known for football? It's still known for ... soybeans, the creative writing program at the University of Iowa, and the place where Buddy Holly, Richie Valens and The Big Bopper died in a plane crash. [/FONT]
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Coming soon on Worst State for Football: Arizona. [/FONT]
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Cam Martin also writes for BugsandCranks.com and Comcast SportsNet New England. E-mail him at cdavidmartin@yahoo.com. [/FONT]
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