Ah-hahahaha!
The United States Navy Judge Advocate General’s Corps has indicted vice presidential candidate and Minnesota Governor Tim Walz on charges of defrauding the US, mischaracterizing his military service, and seditious conspiracy, Real Raw News has learned.
A JAG source told RRN that Vice Admiral Crandall himself authored the indictment after Kamala Harris named Walz as her running mate Tuesday morning, adding that JAG had been monitoring Walz’s political aspirations since the George Floyd riots of 2020 when Walz allowed ANTIFA and BLM activists to pillage and torch Minneapolis for two days before finally calling on the National Guard to restore order—too little, too late. Twenty-five deaths and two billion dollars in damages are attributable to the nationwide riots, which precipitated a national debate on racial injustice and defunding local and statewide law enforcement agencies.
Among the dead were David Dorn, a 77-year-old retired police officer who was fatally shot trying to stop BLM rioters from burglarizing a pawn shop in St. Louis, and Navy veteran Lee Keltner, shot dead by an ANTIFA antagonist after attending a patriot rally in Denver. JAG contends that had Walz acted immediately, the riots wouldn’t have spread irrepressibly to other states, and Dorn and Keltner would still be alive. Walz’s cowardice and complacency contributed to their deaths, our source said, and JAG has charged him with negligent homicide and accessory to homicide for their premature demise.
JAG has also accused Walz, a 2A abolitionist, of embellishing his military service. In past interviews and speeches, Walz said, “We shouldn’t allow weapons that I used in war to be on America’s streets,” referring to the M-16A2 automatic rifle, which he incorrectly likened to the AR-15 semi-automatic civilian variant—he has implored the federal government to ratify a nationwide ban on all AR-style weapons.
More importantly, however, Walz never carried weapons of war into war because he had not fought in any conflicts, nor seen a combat zone. He left the military, abandoning his brethren and leaving the company without a senior NCO, in 2005 after learning his unit was scheduled for deployment to Iraq. He also lied about his rank at retirement, claiming he was a command seargant major (CSM), the highest attainable rank among enlisted men. Although Walz did receive a promotion to CSM several months before he unceremoniously walked out on his unit, that promotion was conditional, and the Dept. of Defense later determined he had not completed the requirements to retain the rank of CSM and demoted him, as is evidenced on is DD-214.
Our source said of Walz, “What we’re talking about goes far beyond a typical case of stolen valor. Those stolen valor guys typically lie to score with women, get a few drinks at a bar, or get a 5% discount at Denny’s. What Walz is doing is deceiving a nation to improve his public opinion. We take this offense very seriously.”
He added that Adm. Crandall has physical evidence proving that Walz already authored a proposal to nullify the 2nd Amendment and use an expanded Department of Homeland Security to warrantlessly trespass the homes of all registered firearms owners. Walz’s scheme would empower Homeland to seize firearms in contravention of the 4th Amendment.
“It’s unconstitutional and treason,” our source said.
He called Walz a “sick bastard” and, possibly, a pedophile.
“This is the sicko that wanted to put tampon dispensers in boy’s bathrooms in schools. The MSM isn’t touching that, or that he once said that adolescent males should learn to insert tampons into their rectum, so they’d better understand what it’s like for a girl to put foreign objects—it’s disgusting,” our said.
When asked when White Hats would arrest Walz, he said, “Right now, he’s got heavy Secret Service and FBI protection all around him, just like Harris, so we’ll wait for the right moment. I know what you’ll ask next, Michael, and no, we’re not worried about this info getting out there—we anticipate it’ll spook him into making a mistake. This guy belongs at GITMO.”
The United States Navy Judge Advocate General’s Corps has indicted vice presidential candidate and Minnesota Governor Tim Walz on charges of defrauding the US, mischaracterizing his military service, and seditious conspiracy, Real Raw News has learned.
A JAG source told RRN that Vice Admiral Crandall himself authored the indictment after Kamala Harris named Walz as her running mate Tuesday morning, adding that JAG had been monitoring Walz’s political aspirations since the George Floyd riots of 2020 when Walz allowed ANTIFA and BLM activists to pillage and torch Minneapolis for two days before finally calling on the National Guard to restore order—too little, too late. Twenty-five deaths and two billion dollars in damages are attributable to the nationwide riots, which precipitated a national debate on racial injustice and defunding local and statewide law enforcement agencies.
Among the dead were David Dorn, a 77-year-old retired police officer who was fatally shot trying to stop BLM rioters from burglarizing a pawn shop in St. Louis, and Navy veteran Lee Keltner, shot dead by an ANTIFA antagonist after attending a patriot rally in Denver. JAG contends that had Walz acted immediately, the riots wouldn’t have spread irrepressibly to other states, and Dorn and Keltner would still be alive. Walz’s cowardice and complacency contributed to their deaths, our source said, and JAG has charged him with negligent homicide and accessory to homicide for their premature demise.
JAG has also accused Walz, a 2A abolitionist, of embellishing his military service. In past interviews and speeches, Walz said, “We shouldn’t allow weapons that I used in war to be on America’s streets,” referring to the M-16A2 automatic rifle, which he incorrectly likened to the AR-15 semi-automatic civilian variant—he has implored the federal government to ratify a nationwide ban on all AR-style weapons.
More importantly, however, Walz never carried weapons of war into war because he had not fought in any conflicts, nor seen a combat zone. He left the military, abandoning his brethren and leaving the company without a senior NCO, in 2005 after learning his unit was scheduled for deployment to Iraq. He also lied about his rank at retirement, claiming he was a command seargant major (CSM), the highest attainable rank among enlisted men. Although Walz did receive a promotion to CSM several months before he unceremoniously walked out on his unit, that promotion was conditional, and the Dept. of Defense later determined he had not completed the requirements to retain the rank of CSM and demoted him, as is evidenced on is DD-214.
Our source said of Walz, “What we’re talking about goes far beyond a typical case of stolen valor. Those stolen valor guys typically lie to score with women, get a few drinks at a bar, or get a 5% discount at Denny’s. What Walz is doing is deceiving a nation to improve his public opinion. We take this offense very seriously.”
He added that Adm. Crandall has physical evidence proving that Walz already authored a proposal to nullify the 2nd Amendment and use an expanded Department of Homeland Security to warrantlessly trespass the homes of all registered firearms owners. Walz’s scheme would empower Homeland to seize firearms in contravention of the 4th Amendment.
“It’s unconstitutional and treason,” our source said.
He called Walz a “sick bastard” and, possibly, a pedophile.
“This is the sicko that wanted to put tampon dispensers in boy’s bathrooms in schools. The MSM isn’t touching that, or that he once said that adolescent males should learn to insert tampons into their rectum, so they’d better understand what it’s like for a girl to put foreign objects—it’s disgusting,” our said.
When asked when White Hats would arrest Walz, he said, “Right now, he’s got heavy Secret Service and FBI protection all around him, just like Harris, so we’ll wait for the right moment. I know what you’ll ask next, Michael, and no, we’re not worried about this info getting out there—we anticipate it’ll spook him into making a mistake. This guy belongs at GITMO.”
