RIP Dallas Cowboys
My apologies to the great Richard Pryor, but it was either his eulogy or Sugarfoot bringing us the classic
"It's All Over"
We are gathered here today, on this sorrowful occasion, to say goodbye to the dearly departed. They were dearly and they have departed. Thus, that's why we call them the dearly departed. In other words, the Cowboys are dead.
As you can see them laying there — I've been watching them since the season opener, and other than against the Texans, The Boys ain't moved a muscle. So I know they're dead.
And it seems that death was quite a surprise to them. Didn't think you was ever gonna die this soon, did ya? Um hum, told you about messin' around what was gonna happen.
They faced the ultimate test, and each team like this must eventually face the ultimate test. The ultimate test here — let me repeat that — the ultimate test here is whether or not you can survive with pitiful coaching, arrogant players and ridiculously high expectations. That's the ultimate test for a team, ain't it?
So far, no team we know has passed the ultimate test, least of all this year's Cowboys.
Cause these boy weren't up to it, I'm gonna tell you that right off. I saw them folding up with stupid mistakes in Week 1 against Washington and they've bee raggedy ever since.
And if you think we're going to bury you with all those Pro Bowl invitations, you've got another thing coming.