I got a puppy that thinks my carpet is his personal toilet, and has the habits of a raccoon.
Plus that and the fact, I work graveyard, drive 67 miles 1 way to get home at 09:30 am or later, oh I forgot to mention I suffer from insomnia, so I earned the right to get drunk 6x a week.
I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk.
Alcoholics go to meetings.