Classic post from Craiglist

DChosta · Mar 21, 2007

If Your Wife or g/f Won't.... I Will! - w4m

Date: 2007-03-19, 3:08PM PDT

If your wife of girlfriend won't give you the oral release you crave, if you're just horny and need release you've cum to the right ad. I love to suck...

If you're nervous, no problem. We can take it slow and make sure you're comfortable. You just kick back, relax, close your eyes and let me blow...

I'm white, early 30's, beautiful, good shape, blnd/hzl, clean, professional, disease free, non-smoker, no drugs (unless you count a glass of wine) and love to orally work a hot load of nut butter out of a hot man. I CAN HOST. Here's what I'm looking for -- White men, 30 to 55 years old, disease free and masculine. If you're married or have g/f and need to be discreet, that's fine. HAIRY CHEST a big plus!! Not looking for perfect bodies, just masculine men who need to bust a nut. Like blue collar types or suit and tie just be ALL MAN. No pretty boys! If you don't send a pic I won't respond!

* Location: O.C.
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

go2guy · Mar 21, 2007

This one is the truth right here!

Advice to Young Men from an Old Man

<HR>Date: 2007-02-15, 9:08AM PST

Advice to Young Men from an Old Man
1. Don’t pick on the weak. It’s immoral. Don’t antagonize the strong without cause, its stupid.
2. Don’t hate women. It’s a waste of time
3. Invest in yourself. Material things come to those that have self actualized.
4. Get in a fistfight, even if you are going to lose.
5. As a former Marine, take it from me. Don’t join the military, unless you want to risk getting your balls blown off to secure other people’s economic or political interests.
6. If something has a direct benefit to an individual or a class of people, and a theoretical, abstract, or amorphous benefit to everybody else, realize that the proponent’s intentions are to benefit the former, not the latter, no matter what bullshit they try to feed you.
7. Don’t be a Republican. They are self-dealing crooks with no sense of honor or patriotism to their fellow citizens. If you must be a Republican, don’t be a “conservative.” They are whining, bitching, complaining, simple-minded self-righteous idiots who think they’re perpetual victims. Listen to talk radio for a while, you’ll see what I mean.
8. Don’t take proffered advice without a critical analysis. 90% of all advice is intended to benefit the proponent, not the recipient. Actually, the number is probably closer to 97%, but I don’t want to come off as cynical.
9. You’ll spend your entire life listening to people tell you how much you owe them. You don’t owe the vast majority of people shit.
10. Don’t undermine your fellow young men. Mentor the young men that come after you. Society recognizes that you have the potential to be the most power force in society. It scares them. Society does not find young men sympathetic. They are afraid of you, both individually and collectively. Law enforcement’s primary purpose is to suppress you.
11. As a young man, you’re on your own. Society divides and conquers. Unlike women who have advocates looking out for them (NOW, Women’s Study Departments, government, non-profit organizations, political advocacy groups) almost no one is looking out for you.
12. Young men provide the genius and muscle by which our society thrives. Look at the Silicone Valley. By in large, it was not old men or women that created the revolution we live. Realize that society steals your contributions, secures it with our intellectual property laws, and then takes credit and the rewards where none is due.
13. Know that few people have your best interests at heart. Your mother does. Your father probably does (if he stuck around). Your siblings are on your side. Everybody else worries about themselves.
14. Don’t be afraid to tell people to “Fuck off” when need be. It is an important skill to acquire. As they say, speak your piece, even if your voice shakes.
15. Acquire empathy, good interpersonal skills, and confidence. Learn to read body language and non-verbal communication. Don’t just concentrate on your vocational or technical skills, or you’ll find your wife fucking somebody else.
16. Keep fit.
17. Don’t speak ill of your wife/girlfriend. Back her up against the world, even if she’s wrong. She should know that you have her back. When she needs your help, give it. She should know that you’ll take her part.
18. Don’t cheat on your wife/girlfriend. If you must cheat, don’t humiliate her. Don’t risk having your transgressions come back to her or her friends. Don’t do it where you live. Don’t do it with people in your social circle. Don’t shit in your own back yard.
19. If your girlfriend doesn’t make you feel good about yourself and bring joy to your life, fire her. That’s what girlfriends are for.
20. Don’t bother with “emotional affairs.” They are just a vehicle for women to flirt and have someone make them feel good about themselves. That’s the part of a relationship they want. For you it is a lot of work and investment in time. If they are having an emotional affair with you, they’re probably fucking someone else.
21. Becoming a woman’s friend and confidant is not going to get you into an intimate relationship. If you haven’t gotten the girl within a reasonably short period of time, chances are you won’t ever get her. She’ll end up confiding to you about the sexual adventures she’s having with someone else.
22. Have and nurture friendships with women.
23. Realize that love is a numbers game. Guys fall in love easily. You’re going to see some girl and feel like you’ll die if you don’t get her. If she rejects you, move on to the next one. It’s her loss.
24. Don’t be an internet troll. Got out and live life. There is not a cadre of beautiful women advertising on Craigslist to have NSA sex with you. Beautiful women don’t need to advertise. The websites that advertise with attractive women’s photos and claims of loneliness are baloney. All they want is your money and your personal information so that they can market to you. The posts on Craigslist by young “women” seeking NSA sex, and asking for a picture are just a bunch of gay troll pic collectors. This is especially true if the post uses common gay lexicon like “hole” as in “fuck my hole” or seeks “masculine” men, or uses the word cock (except in the context of “Don’t send a cock shot.”) There are women on Craigslist. They are easily recognizable by their 2-5 paragraph postings. Most are in their 30's or older.
25. When you become a man in full, know that people will get in your way. People who are attracted to you will somehow manage to step in your path. Gay guys will give you “the look.” Old people will somehow stumble in front of you at the worst time. Don’t get frustrated. Just step aside and go about your business. Know that these are passive aggressive methods to get you to acknowledge their existence.
26. Don’t gay bash. Don’t mentally or physically abuse people because of who they are, or how they present themselves. It’s none of your business to try to intimidate people into conformity.
27. If your gay, admit it to yourself, your parents, your friends and society at large. Be prepared to get harassed. See rule 14. If someone threatens you or assaults you, call the cops. Have them arrested. You have no obligation to self sacrifice because of who you are. As a gay person, you’ll have more social freedom than straight men. Use it to protect yourself. Be prepared to get out of Dodge if your orientation makes your life unbearable. Move to San Francisco, New York, Atlanta, or New Orleans. You’ll find a welcoming community there.
28. Don’t be a poser. Avoid being one of those dudes who puts a surfboard on top of their car, but never surfs, or a dude with a powder coated fixed gear bike and a messenger bag, but was never a messenger. Live the life. Earn your bona fides.
29. Don’t believe the crap about the patriarchy. More women are accepted and attend college. More degrees are awarded to women than men. Women outlive men. More men commit suicide. Men are twice as likely to be victims of violence, including murder. If you consider sexual assaults in prisons, twice as many men are raped as women (society thinks prison rape is funny). The streets are littered with homeless men, sprinkled with a few homeless women. Statically, women are happier than men. The myth that girls are being cheated by are educational system is belied by the fact that schools are bastions of femininity, mostly run by and taught by women. Girls outperform boys in school. It is the boys in school getting fucked over, and prescribed ritalin for being boys. Real wages for men are falling, while real wages for women are rising. Just because someone says something enough times, doesn’t make it true. You have nothing to feel guilty about.
30. Remember, 97% of all advice is worthless. Take what you can use, and trash the rest.

vicioustwist
san francisco
02-15-07

FairWarning · May 24, 2007

Who needs a date for this weekend. Got a winner here:

http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/w4m/337246623.html

Know what a Raspberry Swirl is? FWB No Strings - 29

<hr> Reply to: pers-337246623@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-05-24, 12:25AM CDT

Basics:
No Strings Sex!!! Must be disease free and have a doc’s note to prove. Or we could be very adult and get one together.

Ok. Why am I on CL? I want to be fucked the way I was not being fucked in my last relationship. Also, I do not want the emotional investment needed for a successful long term relationship. For me, Sex is a spiritual experience.

Who am I:
Single
White
Female
(Not like the movie).

29 years of age. 5'9 and 205 pounds. Yes, a little fat. Not obese (I would also be interested in someone who needs to lose a couple pounds, so we can start together)

You:
Intelligent.
Prefer landlines to cell phones, even if all you have is a cell.
Nice to others.
Nice to small animals (like both dogs and cats).
Nice to me.
Like kids.
Like some TV, but do not always end your day with it. If you have cable and Tivo, you probably watch too much tv.
Not obsessed with money.
Like oddball movies and want the underdog to prevail. Perhaps you are the underdog.
Interested in other cultures.
Have a diverse group of friends.
Not a homophobe.

Me:
I am an academic. An artist. I am a writer. A performer.
I am a nerd. I like nerdy stuff. I like non-traditional stuff.
Christian, Pagan, Catholic, Witch. I am a contradiction. Ok. Get over it. I believe in the Jesus that hung out with the sinners, not the boys in the White House.
I am into smoke, 419+1. So bonus points for you have some.
Mostly listen to older music and not in touch with new music. Some is probably good, but alot of it crap.
Like to break rules. Very liberal. No, not liberal like, "Cool I am gonna buy a hybrid", but liberal like, "Cool, when does the revolution start".
So...yuppies, hipsters, north shore boys (yes Evanston counts) fashionistas NEED NOT APPLY (unless of course you are the exception to the rule).

Sex
1. Cunnilingus:
I like oral sex performed on me. Men who are experts, COOL. Men who are not, but willing to do as I say, do some internet research, and really get into it, COOL. I am a woman. I smell like *****. If you are afraid of the smell of *****, go back to fucking junior high. I like a man who likes to have my scent all over his face. I like to kiss a man before, during and after he has gone down on me.

2. Fellatio:
I like giving oral sex. I like licking a man's balls and having his dick between my lips. Sorry for the guys who believe a woman should swallow, or for those who believe it means I have a strong desire for the act and for you, but I do not like a man to cum in my mouth deep throat style because I tend to gag (and that’s not pretty). A little cum in the mouth with some warning is cool, especially more erotic if you kiss me immediately afterward. I actually kind of dig that and if you have tasted your own cum, good for you. That’s my kind of guy. The one not afraid of bodily fluids.

3. Annilingus:
I like licking ass, interspersed while licking your balls and dick. I like having my ass licked, especially while interspersed while having my ***** licked. A good bath or shower is essential here, with triple scrubbing required. I don’t like to smell your ass while I am licking it. Sorry, not that kinky. But licking ass, wow, damn that is some good stuff especially when you fuck me from behind or in my ass (see below).

4. Anal Sex:
Usually, I need a couple drinks or be really stoned to enjoy being fucked in my ass. I need a lot of lube and a lot of licking (both my ***** and my ass). I like to play with my self and get myself off while you pound me from behind. Condom required.

5. Missionary:
Like it, but position matters here. My legs on your shoulders, Heaven.

6. Doggy Style:
Yum. Yum. Yum. Especially if you can talk dirty to me while doing it.

7. Sideways:
Interesting. Like it, but you have to have a long cock for this to work.

8. Woman On Top:
This feels oh so good. I like to fuck you and let you relax for a bit. Pulling my hair and pinching my nipples always a good thing while I am thrusting away.

If you have issues fucking a woman while she is menstruating, I am not your girl. If you have ever been interested in exploring a raspberry swirl (google if you don’t know what this is), well damn, I might marry you. If you have ever gone down on a woman who has had a tampon in, that works too.

I am pretty open sexually. If you wanna try something, cool. But with that comes you trying new things as well. Although I am a feminist, I still like a man who is a freak with a big cock. Best sex I have ever had was with an ex in the army. Mr. High and Tight I called him-because of his haircut and cock. Although I am very liberal, servicemen are welcome, because well, you boys know how to fuck. We may disagree on the war, but damn we can sure see eye to eye on sex.

Please be able to host. Must live in the city. NO BURBS!!! Respond with a picture and a detailed description. No pic, No narrative, You are probably another CL freak who has no life. I spent the time here to outline what I want, I think I deserve a little bit more than a cock shot and “You like?”.<table summary="craigslist hosted images"> <tbody><tr><td align="center">
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Location: CITY ONLY
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 337246623