A Little Humor to break things up.....

[Nick$$$]

A young guy from Wisconsin moves to Texas and goes
to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking
for a job.

The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"

The kid says "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Wisconsin."

Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job.
"You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how
you did."

His first day on the job was rough, but he got through
it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down.

"How many customers bought something from you today?

The kid says "one".

The boss says "Just one? Our sales people average 20
to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?"

The kid says "$101,237.65".

The boss says "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?"

The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fish hook.
Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger
fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him
where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going
to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a Twin
engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull
it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4
Expedition."

The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook
And you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?"

The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons
for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you
should go fishing."

 

[Nick$$$]

An elderly priest invited a young priest over for dinner. During the
meal, the young priest couldn't help noticing how attractive and shapely
the housekeeper was.

Over the course of the evening he started to wonder if there was more
between the elderly priest and the housekeeper than met the eye.

Reading the young priest's thoughts, the elderly priest volunteered, "I
know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, my relationship with
my housekeeper is purely professional.

About a week later the housekeeper came to the elderly priest and said,
"Father, ever since the young Father came to dinner, I've been unable
to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose he took it
do you?"

The priest said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write him a letter just to
be sure." So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Father, I'm not saying that
you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did
not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing
ever since you were here."

Several days later the elderly priest received a letter from the young
priest which read: "Dear Father, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep
with your housekeeper, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with
your housekeeper. But the fact remains that if you were sleeping in your own
bed, you would have found the gravy ladle by now."

 

[devocr]

A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some whacko wants to buy a half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "and this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."

The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.

Later the manager found the boy and said "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?"

"Canada, sir," the boy replied.

"Well, why did you leave Canada?" the manager asked.

The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up there."

"Really!" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada!"

The boy replied, "No way??? Who did she play for?"

 

[Nick$$$]

jajjaa

 

[ToshiREFSCostaRica]

Sra Sanchez

During a trial in a small town in <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comffice:smarttags" /><st1lace w:st="on">Puerto Rico</st1lace>, the prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly Puerto Rican abuelita to the stand.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comfficeffice" /><o></o>
He approached her and asked “señora Sanchez, do you know me?”, She responded: “SI, I know you Mr. Williams. I know you since you were a mocoso pendejo, and frankly you’ve been a big disappointment to me to your family and to the community. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and you think you are a big shot when you are nada, yes I know you BABOSO”<o></o>
The lawyer stunned, not knowing what to do, he pointed across the room and asked Mrs. Sanchez, “do you know the defense attorney?” Again she replied: “Claro que si, I’ve known Mr. Rodriguez since he was a mocoso travieso too. He is lazy puto, and he has drinking problem. He can’t keep a normal relationship with nobody, and he is the most pendejo lawyer in the state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different putas. One of them was your wife, remember?. I know Mr. Rodriguez, his Mama is not proud of him tampoco.”<o></o>
The defense attorney almost died. The Judge then asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet deadly calm voice said: “If either of you cabrones ask her if she knows me, I’ll send you both to the electric Chair