Here are the first steps GTC:
- denounce science and logic
- become judgmental of others with different religious beliefs and values
- lose the ability to be think independently
- become racist and homophobic
The above almost certainly guarantee some time in the pulpit of many Christian churches.
My advice is to seek out those congregations who don't embrace such values
Oh and get a small dog. Will be compatible with your cat and they're a fucking Chick Magnet