James Belushi to Elizebeth Perkins in ...About last night. "If you didn't have a pussy...there'd be a bounty on your head."
Here's a funny pussy joke from the movie Predator. A bunch of guys are flying in a chopper, and the guy telling the joke is yelling very loudly because of the noise the chopper is making. He's telling the joke to the poker faced indian who never gets the joke, but the guy is trying very hard to get the indian to understand. Very funny setting.
He says "I asked the wife for a little pussy the other night" and she said to me "I wouldn't mind one either mines as big as a house"
He says "I asked the wife for a little pussy the other night" and she said to me "I wouldn't mind one either mines as big as a house"
6 pages and I have yet to see any from The Life Of Brian - oh well, here goes nothing:
Stan (Loretta) It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
Reg But you can't have babies.
Stan (Loretta) Don't you oppress me.
Reg I'm not oppressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb. Where's the foetis going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box?
Also another classic from the same scene:
Brian Are you the Judean People's Front?
Reg **** off, Judean People's Front! We're the People's Front of Judea
Stan (Loretta) It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
Reg But you can't have babies.
Stan (Loretta) Don't you oppress me.
Reg I'm not oppressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb. Where's the foetis going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box?
Also another classic from the same scene:
Brian Are you the Judean People's Front?
Reg **** off, Judean People's Front! We're the People's Front of Judea
Since I am on a roll:
Brian I'm not the messiah, would you please listen. I'm not the messiah, do
you understand? Honestly!
Follower Only the true messiah denies his divinity.
Brian What? Well what sort of chance does that give me? All right, I AM the
messiah.
Follower He IS! He IS the messiah!
Brian Now **** off!
Follower How shall we **** off oh lord
Brian I'm not the messiah, would you please listen. I'm not the messiah, do
you understand? Honestly!
Follower Only the true messiah denies his divinity.
Brian What? Well what sort of chance does that give me? All right, I AM the
messiah.
Follower He IS! He IS the messiah!
Brian Now **** off!
Follower How shall we **** off oh lord
From "Casino", and the inimitable Joe Pesci as Nicky Santoro
"If you don't have my money for me, I'll crack your f-u-c-k-ing head in front of everyone in the bank. And just about the time I get out of jail, hopefully, you'll be coming out of your coma. But guess what? I'll crack your f-u-c-k-ing head again! 'Cause I'm f-u-c-k-ing stupid! I don't give a f-u-c-k about jail! That's my business. That's what I do."
"If you don't have my money for me, I'll crack your f-u-c-k-ing head in front of everyone in the bank. And just about the time I get out of jail, hopefully, you'll be coming out of your coma. But guess what? I'll crack your f-u-c-k-ing head again! 'Cause I'm f-u-c-k-ing stupid! I don't give a f-u-c-k about jail! That's my business. That's what I do."
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>You've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk? "<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Clint Eastwood on "Dirty Harry"... of course!!
Oh! Almost forgot!!
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> "Hello. My name is Iñigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Mandy Patinkin in "The Princess Bride"
And I also like:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> "We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!" <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Bill Murray on "Ghostbusters"
[This message was edited by A Lady Passing by on July 10, 2003 at 11:26 AM.]
SInce a lot of people in this thread seem to be fans of The Big Lebowski thought I'd post up this piece regarding the "Lebowski Fest" -- a bowling and White Russian extravaganza held Louisville, KY this past weekend.
Story here.
I had no idea that the Dude is based on a real person -- Jeff Dowd, this guy:
LOL
Phaedrus
Story here.
I had no idea that the Dude is based on a real person -- Jeff Dowd, this guy:
LOL
Phaedrus
Jules: The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
Jules: Hand me my wallet.
Pumpkin: Which one is it?
Jules: It's the one with "bad m*th*rf*ck*r" written on it.
Both from Pulp Fiction.
Jules: Hand me my wallet.
Pumpkin: Which one is it?
Jules: It's the one with "bad m*th*rf*ck*r" written on it.
Both from Pulp Fiction.
A decent one:
Roy 'Tin Cup McAvoy: You don't think I can knock it on from there?
Commentator: Let's just say it's a low-percentage shot.
Roy 'Tin Cup McAvoy: Well, so am I! I mean, lookat me, alright, what I'm wearing, I mean, I'm playing for Rio Grande Short-Haul Trucking, Briggs and Brown Sanitation, First State Bank of Salome, Woody's Steakhouse....You think a...you think a guy like me bothers to worry about percentages?
Roy 'Tin Cup McAvoy: You don't think I can knock it on from there?
Commentator: Let's just say it's a low-percentage shot.
Roy 'Tin Cup McAvoy: Well, so am I! I mean, lookat me, alright, what I'm wearing, I mean, I'm playing for Rio Grande Short-Haul Trucking, Briggs and Brown Sanitation, First State Bank of Salome, Woody's Steakhouse....You think a...you think a guy like me bothers to worry about percentages?
Some good ones:
From "Casino"
"Nicky's methods of betting weren't scientific, but they worked. When he won, he collected. When he lost, he told the bookies to go f*ck themselves."
From "Streetcar Named Desire"
"You know what luck is? Luck is believing you're lucky...to hold front position in this rat-race you've got to believe you're lucky."
And from Nick Nolte's little gem this year "The Good Thief"
Explaining how he acquired a Picasso [phony].
"Pablo bet on the matador, I bet on the bull. The matador got 26 stitches, I got a painting."
"Heroin is his lady."
"I thought luck was his lady."
"When one runs out he turns to the other."
"I'm just a gambler now."
"Since When?"
"Since my last six convictions."
Bob the gambler/junkie is down to his last 70,000 francs. He decides to go to the races and risks it all on one race.
"What if you lose?"
"I'll have to change my ways."
He loses.
"I feel a confinement coming on."
From "Casino"
"Nicky's methods of betting weren't scientific, but they worked. When he won, he collected. When he lost, he told the bookies to go f*ck themselves."
From "Streetcar Named Desire"
"You know what luck is? Luck is believing you're lucky...to hold front position in this rat-race you've got to believe you're lucky."
And from Nick Nolte's little gem this year "The Good Thief"
Explaining how he acquired a Picasso [phony].
"Pablo bet on the matador, I bet on the bull. The matador got 26 stitches, I got a painting."
"Heroin is his lady."
"I thought luck was his lady."
"When one runs out he turns to the other."
"I'm just a gambler now."
"Since When?"
"Since my last six convictions."
Bob the gambler/junkie is down to his last 70,000 francs. He decides to go to the races and risks it all on one race.
"What if you lose?"
"I'll have to change my ways."
He loses.
"I feel a confinement coming on."
