Well, I hate to start with such a negative statement:
1.) I would get a paternity test to make sure about the child being mine. 2.) If not my child then I move on.
3.) If it is my child then I do not believe that living with someone I cannot stand to be around is the answer, either, but I need to be responsible for the human being that is also part me.
You need to spend time with that person and care for that person, financially and with an investment of you! It sounds like you do not have any other children. Let me tell you about men and children. Women love their children from the very get go (before they are even born!) Most men, and me included, find that they 'feel responsible' and the pressure to make a positive place for the child and they say they 'love' the child but the pressure to provide and love are not the same thing. AS the child develops and learns who you are and you learn who they are they grow on you somehow until you can't believe how much you love them. But just holding a blank slate and rocking them is not going to get your fatherly love kicking. That is done out of responsibility. Just wait, though, until the child comes running up to you and says, "Daddy, I love you," and gives you a big hug and won't let go. Then you're done for and you will be glad you took the time to help them grow and develop. Also, think how sad it is for children who never get to see their dad...it is so important to be there.
Anywhooo...just do the right thing and you will never regret it. They grow on you, trust me. tulsa
1.) I would get a paternity test to make sure about the child being mine. 2.) If not my child then I move on.
3.) If it is my child then I do not believe that living with someone I cannot stand to be around is the answer, either, but I need to be responsible for the human being that is also part me.
You need to spend time with that person and care for that person, financially and with an investment of you! It sounds like you do not have any other children. Let me tell you about men and children. Women love their children from the very get go (before they are even born!) Most men, and me included, find that they 'feel responsible' and the pressure to make a positive place for the child and they say they 'love' the child but the pressure to provide and love are not the same thing. AS the child develops and learns who you are and you learn who they are they grow on you somehow until you can't believe how much you love them. But just holding a blank slate and rocking them is not going to get your fatherly love kicking. That is done out of responsibility. Just wait, though, until the child comes running up to you and says, "Daddy, I love you," and gives you a big hug and won't let go. Then you're done for and you will be glad you took the time to help them grow and develop. Also, think how sad it is for children who never get to see their dad...it is so important to be there.
Anywhooo...just do the right thing and you will never regret it. They grow on you, trust me. tulsa
lombardi said:
I do not believe that living with someone that you do not get along with is the answer, either. As for your wife that you really love, that is up to her and you and circumstance and is a whole 'nother topic. As far as I am concerned you don't have to live with someone the rest of your life when you don't care for them. Blue Edwards would probably disagree and he has a respectable opinion. However, you do need to be involved in your child's life. tulsa
