People Who Cut Off Family Members And Friends In The Last Few Weeks Over Trump's Historic Election Win Are Sharing Why
Hannah MarderWed, November 20, 2024, 5:31 PM PST·25 min read
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Earlier this month, Donald Trump was again elected as the next President of the United States, and many Americans are understandably concerned about losing their rights. The country is more divisive than ever, and in light of the looming threat of fascism, many have decided to cut or reduce contact with friends and family members who voted for Trump. Others have argued for unity during this time and decried those who would allow "politics" to get in the way of personal relationships.
Allison Robbert-Pool / Getty Images
To get a pulse on what people are thinking and feeling, we asked the BuzzFeed Community if they had cut anyone in their life out over Trump's win, and we got a number of illuminating responses. Here are their stories.
1."I cut most of my family off in 2016 after they voted for Trump for the first time. It started with a picture of a young Syrian boy who drowned. From the following conversations, I learned that my cousin absolutely believes her children are better and deserve better than that boy. ... It devolved from there. I realized that ... our morals and values were nothing alike. Now, in 2024, I have no contact with anyone in my 'family,' even the ones that I kept in my life at a distance after 2016. They voted for someone who doesn't care if my career helping children is defunded, that my LGBT+ child may lose their right to marry, that my child with a disability may lose their IEP funding, that my immigrant husband may lose his visa."
"They don't care because they believe that their religion gives them the right to hate and discriminate.
—Anonymous
2."My good friend of many years and I disagree on policy issues, but ultimately, I always felt that she was a good person. I chose to give her the benefit of the doubt when she would say troubling things that were judgmental, cruel, or selfish because they didn't occur often. However, I have explained multiple times that my spouse depends on the ACA to have health insurance, which is the only way we can afford treatment for his life-threatening condition (and we still pay a lot for it). The only reason he is alive today is because of Obamacare; this is someone she has spent time with and even come to a party for, and she was still OK with him losing his healthcare if it saved her on taxes."
3."I had to cut out most of my family on both sides. My family is far-right evangelical. They don't believe in dinosaurs; they don't accept climate change; they believe the government should control the body of a woman; they hate ALL LGBQTIA+ people; they hate DEI and CRT. They are celebrating his win. They are calling out how happy they are with his plans. We do not have a difference of opinion; we have a difference in the value of all life. Our morals are polar opposites. I don't want to associate with people who are okay with women bleeding out in ERs because their 2000-year-old book says so."
—Anonymous
WUSA9 / Via youtube.com
4."My youngest brother is now dead to me, thanks to Trump. In a conversation with him about Trump's womanizing, he told me he believes like Trump does — that any woman who makes a complaint against a man for sexual harassment is nothing but a bitch."
"I was floored, so I asked him, 'If my wife or daughters or your wife made a complaint, would you consider them to be bitches too?' You guessed it — he said yes."
5."Someone I considered family and who I planned to have as my maid of honor ... started making random, carelessly mean comments that she didn't seem to realize she was making. Little by little, she started challenging vaccine data because her boyfriend was sending her stuff. My dad died of COVID, and so did my sister-in-law's dad. I had mentioned to her more than once that anti-vax shit was a hard line for me after the pandemic. ... She sent me one article too many challenging the safety and efficacy of the vaccines, and I finally snapped. ... At this point, it's willful ignorance, and she refused to stop triggering me, so we're no longer friends. We've known each other since high school."
–Anonymous
6.*I'm changing my will. The MAGA family members don't need my money; according to Trump, it will be a golden age. So I'm not giving them any. $100,000 is now going to a friend who has always been supportive during my struggle with health issues and other challenges."
—Carolyn, Yahoo
7."My boyfriend is a Trump supporter. I've tried to talk to him about my views and why I would absolutely not ever vote for Trump — misogyny, xenophobia, racism, the childish nicknames he gives, his criminality, how he ignores norms, how he believes he's above the law, etc. My boyfriend talks over me and doesn't listen to me or my concerns. He tells me he voted for Trump because he is the lesser of two evils. He tells me that abortion is just a wedge issue and he's not concerned about 'onesie twosies' when I've told him about women who have died, lost their ability to have children, or now have other medical problems because they live in an area where they were not able to access proper healthcare when they had a miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy. Nothing I say has any impact on his opinions. I have told him he needs to leave."
"Now he's complaining that I'm kicking him out because of politics. He does not understand that it is because I find his views so abhorrent and him so uncaring about how Trump will affect women, LGBTQ+ people, immigrants, people of non-Christian religions, etc., that I am disappointed and disgusted with my boyfriend and do not wish to be with him any longer."
—Anonymous
9."I have four siblings: three of which (along with many of their children and grandchildren) voted for Trump. ... I have a child who is nonbinary. I attempted to talk to my older sister, who had voted for him. I was so upset and exasperated; I tried to explain my fear for my child and how it broke my heart that so many of them voted against my child's actual existence. It was as though she could not comprehend my fear or my pain. How do you look someone in the face and say, 'You know I love you and your child,' yet still vote for a racist and bigot who will undoubtedly make your child's life much more difficult in so many ways?"
10."There are several people no longer in my life. Their whole personality changed. They are only MAGA and nothing else. We used to discuss sporting events, gardening, and our dogs. Now, all they talk about is Trump and MAGA politics...nothing else. I walked away after 40 years of friendship with one person. They aren’t the same person. My next-door neighbor of 25 years was going on a motorcycle ride recently. I told him to have a fun and safe ride. He went on a Trump/MAGA tirade. I told him it was sad someone couldn't say 'have a nice day' anymore. I don’t think he even heard what I said."
—WJK, Yahoo
11."After January 6, I realized no amount of proof could convince my brothers that they were being fed misinformation. After years of climate change denial, conspiracies, and one brother becoming an anti-Semite, their response to January 6 broke me. ... They are in service to a growing fascism in my country. Therefore, it is my duty to cut them out. It wasn't like I could have an interesting conversation with either of them, anyway. All they entertain themselves with is propaganda."
"I grew up white trash but came west with the Navy, got sober, and stayed. I became who I am through the exploration of great books, great music, and the wild areas of the West. My life is so full. I would be sitting there buying that bullshit had I stayed."
—Anonymous
12."I cut off my parents and best friend. I have an LGBTQ child, and outwardly, friends and family were always supportive. But over the past five years, my friend fell headfirst into QAnon and turned into a hate-filled, paranoid person. I listened to her rant and rave about this scary, make-believe world. She developed alcoholism and constantly complained about the immigrant population in her community, to which she leased properties. I knew this day would come because she was so deeply entrenched in her own delusion she couldn't see how a vote for Trump would harm my family or the families in her community — ones that provide her with a job."
13.*My husband comes from a very conservative, very MAGA family. I'm mixed and have an immigrant parent. We have a teenage child who is queer and absolutely perfect as they are. We have mostly kept our distance from my husband's family, but the few times of year we have to see them, we ask for no politics to be brought up (although they often ignore that). I've tolerated the bigoted, disgusting comments his family made about people like me, my family, and our child out of love for my husband. That's not happening anymore."
14."I have a cousin who is an educated, retired, Black engineer from Boeing. I CANNOT believe he voted for Trump. I am done. I am NEVER speaking to him again. We are having a family get-together during the holiday. I will NOT attend if he is there. It's absolutely DEPLORABLE! Black women have supported Black men for generations. When we needed them to be there for us, they let us down. They are on their own."
"I was invited to a birthday party on the Saturday after the election. The hostess sent out a text saying some people would be happy about the election and some would be sad. The party was a no-politics zone. My significant other, who is white, wanted to go. As a Black woman, I had ZERO interest in attending. It was just too raw. I do not want to be around anyone who thinks any of this is okay!"
15."I finally cut off my brother with no explanation...at least no new explanation. He's absolutely out of his mind. He spent over 20 years in the Air Force, serving to uphold his oath of protecting our Constitution. And yet here he is, supporting a man who is doing everything he can to undermine it. I am gay, and in the past, he has told me that I should not be able to adopt children, that he 'doesn't agree with my lifestyle,' and more. I work in advertising, and he will see ads on TV that I had nothing to do with, and he will randomly text me out of the blue — for the first time in months — saying things like, 'Do any of you even know anyone who lives in America? You're out of touch. Get bent, commie!'"
"I've been super low contact with him for years, and I am resolute to never see or speak to him once my aging parents pass away. His support for another Trump term is no surprise. But the fact that Trump won while he (my brother) is strutting around like he's Captain America makes my stomach churn. I am better off without him."
16."I have a cousin who really went down the antigovernment rabbit hole during/after the pandemic. Last week, my students, my kids, and my niece were really struggling with Trump's win; it was just an overall terrible week. She and her family were visiting, and within the first five minutes, her douchey boyfriend started trying to antagonize me into fighting with him. I refused to engage, and she just kept laughing and saying he was just pushing buttons."
17."I cut off my entire family and declined to spend Thanksgiving with my mother, father, sister, and both brothers and have no desire to see any of them ever again. They only wanted me there to gloat. Both of my brothers have gotten away with more crimes than they ever served time for, and my parents act like they're choir boys who were railroaded 'just like Trump.' My sister exercised her choice by getting an abortion many years ago and blames me even though I didn't even know anything about it until years later. Our mother took her, but she gets no blame — only I do because I support a woman's right to choose. ... They're all cold, cruel, and two-faced. The truth isn't in any of them. They're toxic sludge."
—Anonymous
18."My in-laws voted for Trump. This was after my sister-in-law expressed her concerns. This was after they learned that I have a gay brother. This was after they learned that an abortion saved my life years ago. This was after Trump tried to overthrow our democracy. I'm just not going to this Thanksgiving or Christmas with them. If they ask, I'm busy. I will be busy; I'll be doing volunteer work those days. There are people who will need help these next four years, and if I can help in any way, I'm going to do that."
—Anonymous
19."After they called the race for Trump, two in-laws posted in a group chat that they were happy that Trump won. I simply stated to leave me out of it; I don't want any part in it. Someone sent a meme saying this shouldn't ruin relationships, and I was so angry and responded that it isn't even about politics anymore; it's about morals and values. They choose to vote against my two kids and other family members I love who could be hurt by policies Trump enacts. I called them out on their 'Christian Values,' which triggered them. They questioned why they couldn't vote for who they wanted and were shocked I would end family relationships. I never told them how to vote. I wanted no part of their conversations. ... Funny thing is, they voted for Trump, but they utilize SS, Disability, Medicare, and food stamps. Hope that works out for them."
—Anonymous
Robert Willett/The News & Observer/Tribune News Service via Getty Images
20."I barely speak to most of my family. Why should I? I do not want their hatred in my life. They embrace bigotry and misogyny. It all boils down to the only thing the Republican Party has: Hate. Donald Trump didn't lower their taxes. He didn't get their roads fixed or their bridges built. He didn't get them healthcare coverage, lower the price of prescriptions, decrease the deficit, end the opioid crises, revive the coal industry, he didn't make COVID disappear. He didn't make Mexico pay for the wall, he didn't put America First, he didn't drain the swamp. He didn't reduce the deficit. He didn't put his assets in a blind trust. So when they say he fought for them or made their lives better, they mean he validated their hate. Because he didn't do a thing for them other than that. He hates who they hate. And sadly, that's all they think they need."
—D, Yahoo
21."He doesn't know yet, but my brother-in-law is not invited to Thanksgiving. I figured if his response to me asking him to vote for my body autonomy on Election Day is, 'Thank you for the reminder, but I still don't feel ready to cast my ballot just yet. I'm sure I will eventually,' he definitely can't feel ready or safe to eat my food in my home just yet. And honestly, I'm not sure I'll ever want to host this self-serving misogynist."
—Anonymous
22."I'm ashamed of my grandsons. I tried to raise them right to accept all people regardless of color, religion, etc. They gravitated toward a White Nationalist who hates most people in this country besides his loyal followers. My grandson purposely put on Trump dancing to 'YMCA'; he even streamed it on the TV while I was in the middle of a movie. So I recently told him I am not having Christmas at my house. He can spend all day and night talking with my nephew, who voted for Trump. My grandson thinks it's quite funny how I have reacted; maybe because Trump represents hate."
"My parents were immigrants — my entire family is from Mexico. No, they never were drug dealers or rapists; actually, my dad served in the Korean War, became a citizen, and worked hard to provide for us. I am so upset with many of my family members that I don't even want to look at them or be around them, as I know now they do not share the same values and beliefs as me."
—Anonymous
23."What really kills me is the hypocrisy. If you plug a Democrat's name into any of Trump's follies, Republican's heads would have exploded. Obama paying hush money to a porn star, Biden launching a violent attack on the Capitol, Carter shaking down a foreign power for dirt on Reagan, John Kerry trying to strong-arm states into 'finding' enough votes to overturn the election he lost. If the Clintons did so much as refuse to release their taxes, it would have been doomsday. But Trump has an R next to his name, so he can literally do anything. Literally. And these people will gleefully endorse someone they know to be lawless and despicable for exactly that reason. I don't respect that."
"I assume a few blood relatives voted for Trump by default, but politics have never been a subject with them. So, on the very rare occasions that we may interact, whatever. Like a family member with dementia, what are you gonna do? But I cut every MAGA person completely out of my life. You can't have your cake and eat it too. If you co-sign a monster knowing the same information about him that I do, then I can't co-sign you. I'm done, and I'm out."
—Will, Yahoo
MSNBC / Via youtube.com
24."I was raised in a family that says one way to demonstrate integrity is by association. Further, I was raised to believe that if I stand by and say and do nothing when I see something wrong and unjust, I am as guilty as the perp is guilty. I am 80, and these values have never ever failed me. ... This is why people like me loudly oppose Trump and his supporters to the point that we will distance them from our lives — because staying with them tells them I am okay with what they do when I am not, and staying with them means I am an accomplice to their bad deeds, ... and I am not okay with that either. Allowing injustice and evil to occur is just as wrong as doing it."
"I cut out family and 'friends' last week, but not more than around five. They were the last five in my life that I tried to do my best and be patient with, but voting for Trump again is a bridge too far."
—rv, Yahoo
25."My sister and her husband have been Trump supporters from the first day he entered politics. It's taken me until now to finally realize that they are closet fascists. I've tried to maintain a relationship with them because they are family, but after this last election cycle, I'm done trying. My sister has so much hate in her, and her husband just fuels that hate in any way he can. The ironic thing is, my sister has had two abortions and has been on welfare in the past, and now she's against both because she is well off now."
—Anonymous
26."My mother voted for Trump, knowing that it puts my marriage and my rights in jeopardy. I've been with my husband for going on 11 years. We own our own home. We have two dogs, work several jobs, and run a successful company, all while living a normal life. And my mom says: 'Maybe Trump will force you to change from your ungodly ways, and come back to the right side.' EXCUSE ME??! No."
—Anonymous
27."I cut off everyone I know who voted for him. This is different from 2016. They betrayed my daughter and my LGBTQ+ loved ones and voted for a traitor who tried to overthrow the government. They are betraying our older adults, whose social security and medical needs are threatened. They voted for a person who said he would use the military against Americans. ... He lied about everything under the sun, including Haitians eating dogs, abortions taking place after birth, and taxpayer-funded gender change surgeries in prisons."
"He is dangerous, and they were duped by the convicted felon— a person who sold out our country out by stealing and sharing highly classified documents. That's not just my emotional opinion. I listened to all of the indictments being read by podcast. ... Every last one who voted for him is now permanently out of my personal space, and honestly, it feels great to be freed from them."
—Jenny, Yahoo
ABC / WSJ News / Via youtube.com
28."We have turned our backs completely to four nephews, one niece, multiple friends, and one parent. They do not represent our values, and it's clear they have only tolerated us while looking down on us and our children. None of the above espouse values of compassion, charity, kindness, and empathy as taught by Jesus, whom they claim to follow. We blocked them and did not allow them a voice for their false reasoning. They are literally dead to us. As a combat veteran with a security clearance since 1993, they have shown me the kind of patriots they really are — voting for a political party and man that does not have a moral compass, allegiance, or fidelity to the Republic."
"We have cancelled subscriptions to those who donated to Trump, left platforms like X, Amazon, and won't give our business to companies aligned with the Republican Party or Trump. All who support a treasonous felon and party of seditionists deserve nothing from us. We are in the top 2% of earners in our state, which we will also be leaving as a result of its predominant Republican base to stop our state taxes going to their political party and supporters. Unity is collaboration."
