Chad Kroeger Sucked Himself Off For Beer
Tuesday March 11, 2008 @ 06:30 PM
By: ChartAttack.com Staff
Chad Kroeger
Nickelback have sold millions of albums around the world, but most ChartAttack readers would probably take no offence if we said that band main man Chad Kroeger sucked. Now, it's no longer an artistic judgment call. He's admitted it.
Kroeger's confession of suckitude has nothing to do with his music, however. It has everything to do with his penis. That's right: Nickelback's frontman has slurped on his own wang.
The brave, and not particularly wise, admission came during an interview in the new issue of Playboy. Rumours have been going around since the band rose to fame that Kroeger carries a hefty spear, but we always figured it was meant for sharing. So why did the 33-year-old singer, guitarist, songwriter, producer and record label executive orally pleasure his member?
Apparently Kroeger (when he was still Chad Turton) was 14 and did it in exchange for a case of beer. And it wasn't easy, as it was apparently "soft and required a lot of pulling."
Kroeger can obviously now afford a fleet of fluffers, and a beer or two, and it's a good thing. He says he isn't as flexible as he used to be and can no longer do the deed. Enroll yourself in a yoga class, dude, and you'll soon be back in the swing of things.
Kroeger's lawyer lost an argument in court last week that an RCMP officer violated the constitution when he asked his client to blow in his face as a means of helping him determine if the singer had been drinking and driving. If he thought that blowing in the face is unconstitutional, what the hell is blowing yourself?
Kroeger's trial date on charges of impaired driving and driving with a blood-alcohol level above 0.8 is slated to be scheduled on Wednesday.
http://www.chartattack.com/DAMN/2008/03/1130.cfm
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