Showtime at the PGA
By Dan Daly
The only surprising news to me about Dustin Johnson being suspended for cocaine use was how many people were actually surprised by it. Honestly, I was under the assumption that was common knowledge? Clearly based on Twitter and emails I saw it wasn’t. My bad. I’ll just say this, this news ranked right up there with Lance Bass announcing he was gay on the shock value scale. Here’s another one for you…DJ and Paulina Gretzky probably do cocaine together. Yep, let that one sink in for a second. Crazy right?
I wrote about this in 2012 when Johnson played the Cadillac Championship at Doral in March and was perfectly healthy and then miraculously didn’t play again for 11 weeks. The PGA Tour is not required to announce any disciplinary actions against players who test positive for recreational drugs and never does. It wasn’t that difficult to put the two together.
As for the PGA Championship, it has always been the red-headed step child of the four majors. The British has the history, the US Open is our National Championship, The Masters is…well, the Masters and the poor PGA just always seems to be an afterthought. To me, the irony is that the PGA Championship year in and year out seems to almost always deliver one of the most exciting majors of the year. The last time it was played here at Valhalla for the 2000 PGA Championship the Sunday round between Tiger and Bob May ranks in the top 3 best Sunday finishes of any Major in the last 30 years…in my opinion.
In fact, the top 100 players in the World Golf Ranking had committed to play the PGA Championship; until Dustin Johnson went Pablo Escobar on us. It would have been the first time any major would have featured all of the top 100 since the world rankings began. Thanks Pablo. I broke down the PGA field this week in honor of DJ.
The Dazed and Confused Group (You have to be one or the other to take anyone in this group):
Ernie Els 115/1 – Winning is simply not an option this week for Ernie, I think his goal should simply be to try and not break anyone’s jaw when he tees off. Let’s just start there and see where it goes.
Patrick Reed 115/1 – Dear Patrick Reed, at 115/1 we are basically saying we still think you have zero chance of winning a major. Sincerely, Las Vegas.
Boo Weekley 215/1 – It’s the PGA Championship.
Vijay Singh and Davis Love III 265/1 – If they played a best ball for 72 holes these odds MIGHT be right. Even then I wouldn’t take them.
Colin Montgomerie 350/1 – For some reason they listed his weight instead of his odds? Weird?
John Daly 500/1 – So you’re telling me there’s a chance!
The Blow Group (Sorry, too easy):
Dustin Johnson 28/1 – So DJ has been locked in as my PGA Championship pick for months. In fact, I had already written the blurb for it comparing Paulina to Amanda Dufner last year…trust me, it was great. Then Dustin Johnson goes and gets busted for doing lines, probably off of Paulina Gretzky (I’m thinking Wolf of Wall Street type stuff) in which case I can’t overly blame him. Anyway, he is obviously out. On a side note…I know I hate when I order a Coke at a restaurant and the waitress says “Is Pepsi OK?” I can’t even imagine how pissed off DJ gets.
The “Breaking” Bad Group (If you like to bet on people with injuries these are your guys):
Tiger Woods 15/1 – I’m not sure if 15/1 are even good odds that he will play this week, much less win.
Jason Day 28/1 – This guy’s wrist is more on again off again than Ross and Rachel from "Friends". It’s hurt, it’s ok, it’s hurt, it’s ok. I give up. Let’s just say he will be “on a break” from winning this week. And yes, I continue to reference cheesy movies and cheesy TV shows each week and I’m okay with that.
Jason Dufner 35/1 – I would love nothing more than to see Amanda’s husband defend this week, but my man Dufner was diagnosed with two bulging discs in his neck last Wednesday after recently undergoing an MRI. I’m no Doogie Howser, M.D., but I can’t imagine him winning a major with two bulging discs in his neck.
Ian Poulter 65/1 – I couldn’t decide if those were his actual odds or the number of bitter tweets he will post over the course of the tournament. Either way, both are too low.
The Scarface Group (The payouts are great but greed gets you in the end):
Phil Mickelson 25/1 – I’m not sure if that’s 25/1 to win or to just make the top 10? Either way I’ll pass. The dude shot a frickin 62 on Sunday and still didn’t finish in the top 10.
Jordan Spieth 28/1 – Jordan Spieth will win a major in 2015…problem is, it’s still 2014.
Rickie Fowler 28/1 – If he wins this week that would mean Rickie will have gone T5, T2, T2, WIN in the four majors this year. That from a guy with one career PGA Tour win? Yeeeaaah, I don’t think so.
Martin Kaymer 28/1 – It was a nice run, Martin. Had to close out some day. Nobody wins them all.
Henrik Stenson and Justin Rose 28/1 – Both have the talent to win, but neither one will win this week.
Matt Kuchar 28/1 - If you're happy and you know it, and you really want to show it, if you're happy and you know it…bet on Kuchar. (Clap, Clap)
Bubba Watson 35/1 – Two majors in the same year? Next….
Jim Furyk 35/1 - He could hold the 18, 36, 54 or even 71-hole lead. It simply doesn’t matter. My wife and one-year-old would have a better chance of winning down the stretch than Furyk would at this point. #gritty #gutsy #grinder
Brandt Snedeker; Keegan Bradley; Charl Schwartzel; Zach Johnson (all 45/1) – No; No; please God no; no chance in hell.
Graeme McDowell 45/1 – Not the kind of tournament McDowell wins. Yep, that’s all I got.
Hunter Mahan 55/1 – Honestly, I just don’t like him at all. That’s not a reason he won’t win this week, but I just wanted to point that out. But he won’t win this week anyway.
Luke Donald 55/1 – If this course really is all about driving the ball long and straight Luke and I might as well have the same odds to win this week.
Jimmy Walker 55/1 – Seriously, how is he still leading in FedEx Cup points?
Angel Cabrera 85/1 and Miguel Angel Jimenez 115/1 – They say the first rule of gambling is to leave emotion at the door…so unfortunately for me these two are out.
The Wire Group (Definitely a solid option but someone has to be second):
In this case, two someone’s.
Rory McIlroy 8/1 – First of all those were his odds prior to his WGC win…good luck getting those now. It will probably be more like 5/1 by the time he tees off Thursday. I mean the guy is clearly the best player on the planet and Rory winning this week wouldn’t surprise me at all but at some point he has to lose…right? No one has won back-to-back majors since Padraig Harrington in 2008 (British and PGA Championship ironically enough) and only 12 have ever done it since World War I. That stat alone scares me away from taking Rory but I also have to believe at some point there is a hangover effect, and I’m not talking about the one from drinking Jägermeister out of the Claret Jug (which is awesome by the way).
Sergio Garcia 28/1 – To be really honest, I loved Sergio this week. Seriously. He’s always had the game to win a major, it was just that pesky little thing between his ears that has been his biggest problem. However, when he didn’t have a Sergio meltdown after leaving it in the bunker late Sunday of the British I dare say young Sergio has all grown up. Or so I thought. And then he started speaking at Firestone and I remembered why he is 0-for his lifetime in Majors. “I'm not going to lie to you,” Garcia said, “It's not my favorite golf course in the world.” Yep, same Sergio. Besides, the last time he played at Valhalla, six years ago, he lost to Anthony Kim (5 and 4) in a Sunday singles match at the 2008 Ryder Cup. Which reminds me, Anthony Kim was good enough to qualify for a Ryder Cup team once upon a time??? Throw in his blown lead at the WGC last Sunday and I’m pretty sure Sergio doesn’t even believe Sergio can win this week.
The Heisenberg Group (The Man):
Adam Scott 15/1 – I literally couldn’t come up with a single reason not to take him this week. Drives it long and straight (that’s what she said), great iron player, putts well on these type of greens, his caddy won the last PGA held here and he has finished inside the top 15 in 11 of the last 12 majors he has played in. So why not this week?
By Dan Daly
The only surprising news to me about Dustin Johnson being suspended for cocaine use was how many people were actually surprised by it. Honestly, I was under the assumption that was common knowledge? Clearly based on Twitter and emails I saw it wasn’t. My bad. I’ll just say this, this news ranked right up there with Lance Bass announcing he was gay on the shock value scale. Here’s another one for you…DJ and Paulina Gretzky probably do cocaine together. Yep, let that one sink in for a second. Crazy right?
I wrote about this in 2012 when Johnson played the Cadillac Championship at Doral in March and was perfectly healthy and then miraculously didn’t play again for 11 weeks. The PGA Tour is not required to announce any disciplinary actions against players who test positive for recreational drugs and never does. It wasn’t that difficult to put the two together.
As for the PGA Championship, it has always been the red-headed step child of the four majors. The British has the history, the US Open is our National Championship, The Masters is…well, the Masters and the poor PGA just always seems to be an afterthought. To me, the irony is that the PGA Championship year in and year out seems to almost always deliver one of the most exciting majors of the year. The last time it was played here at Valhalla for the 2000 PGA Championship the Sunday round between Tiger and Bob May ranks in the top 3 best Sunday finishes of any Major in the last 30 years…in my opinion.
In fact, the top 100 players in the World Golf Ranking had committed to play the PGA Championship; until Dustin Johnson went Pablo Escobar on us. It would have been the first time any major would have featured all of the top 100 since the world rankings began. Thanks Pablo. I broke down the PGA field this week in honor of DJ.
The Dazed and Confused Group (You have to be one or the other to take anyone in this group):
Ernie Els 115/1 – Winning is simply not an option this week for Ernie, I think his goal should simply be to try and not break anyone’s jaw when he tees off. Let’s just start there and see where it goes.
Patrick Reed 115/1 – Dear Patrick Reed, at 115/1 we are basically saying we still think you have zero chance of winning a major. Sincerely, Las Vegas.
Boo Weekley 215/1 – It’s the PGA Championship.
Vijay Singh and Davis Love III 265/1 – If they played a best ball for 72 holes these odds MIGHT be right. Even then I wouldn’t take them.
Colin Montgomerie 350/1 – For some reason they listed his weight instead of his odds? Weird?
John Daly 500/1 – So you’re telling me there’s a chance!
The Blow Group (Sorry, too easy):
Dustin Johnson 28/1 – So DJ has been locked in as my PGA Championship pick for months. In fact, I had already written the blurb for it comparing Paulina to Amanda Dufner last year…trust me, it was great. Then Dustin Johnson goes and gets busted for doing lines, probably off of Paulina Gretzky (I’m thinking Wolf of Wall Street type stuff) in which case I can’t overly blame him. Anyway, he is obviously out. On a side note…I know I hate when I order a Coke at a restaurant and the waitress says “Is Pepsi OK?” I can’t even imagine how pissed off DJ gets.
The “Breaking” Bad Group (If you like to bet on people with injuries these are your guys):
Tiger Woods 15/1 – I’m not sure if 15/1 are even good odds that he will play this week, much less win.
Jason Day 28/1 – This guy’s wrist is more on again off again than Ross and Rachel from "Friends". It’s hurt, it’s ok, it’s hurt, it’s ok. I give up. Let’s just say he will be “on a break” from winning this week. And yes, I continue to reference cheesy movies and cheesy TV shows each week and I’m okay with that.
Jason Dufner 35/1 – I would love nothing more than to see Amanda’s husband defend this week, but my man Dufner was diagnosed with two bulging discs in his neck last Wednesday after recently undergoing an MRI. I’m no Doogie Howser, M.D., but I can’t imagine him winning a major with two bulging discs in his neck.
Ian Poulter 65/1 – I couldn’t decide if those were his actual odds or the number of bitter tweets he will post over the course of the tournament. Either way, both are too low.
The Scarface Group (The payouts are great but greed gets you in the end):
Phil Mickelson 25/1 – I’m not sure if that’s 25/1 to win or to just make the top 10? Either way I’ll pass. The dude shot a frickin 62 on Sunday and still didn’t finish in the top 10.
Jordan Spieth 28/1 – Jordan Spieth will win a major in 2015…problem is, it’s still 2014.
Rickie Fowler 28/1 – If he wins this week that would mean Rickie will have gone T5, T2, T2, WIN in the four majors this year. That from a guy with one career PGA Tour win? Yeeeaaah, I don’t think so.
Martin Kaymer 28/1 – It was a nice run, Martin. Had to close out some day. Nobody wins them all.
Henrik Stenson and Justin Rose 28/1 – Both have the talent to win, but neither one will win this week.
Matt Kuchar 28/1 - If you're happy and you know it, and you really want to show it, if you're happy and you know it…bet on Kuchar. (Clap, Clap)
Bubba Watson 35/1 – Two majors in the same year? Next….
Jim Furyk 35/1 - He could hold the 18, 36, 54 or even 71-hole lead. It simply doesn’t matter. My wife and one-year-old would have a better chance of winning down the stretch than Furyk would at this point. #gritty #gutsy #grinder
Brandt Snedeker; Keegan Bradley; Charl Schwartzel; Zach Johnson (all 45/1) – No; No; please God no; no chance in hell.
Graeme McDowell 45/1 – Not the kind of tournament McDowell wins. Yep, that’s all I got.
Hunter Mahan 55/1 – Honestly, I just don’t like him at all. That’s not a reason he won’t win this week, but I just wanted to point that out. But he won’t win this week anyway.
Luke Donald 55/1 – If this course really is all about driving the ball long and straight Luke and I might as well have the same odds to win this week.
Jimmy Walker 55/1 – Seriously, how is he still leading in FedEx Cup points?
Angel Cabrera 85/1 and Miguel Angel Jimenez 115/1 – They say the first rule of gambling is to leave emotion at the door…so unfortunately for me these two are out.
The Wire Group (Definitely a solid option but someone has to be second):
In this case, two someone’s.
Rory McIlroy 8/1 – First of all those were his odds prior to his WGC win…good luck getting those now. It will probably be more like 5/1 by the time he tees off Thursday. I mean the guy is clearly the best player on the planet and Rory winning this week wouldn’t surprise me at all but at some point he has to lose…right? No one has won back-to-back majors since Padraig Harrington in 2008 (British and PGA Championship ironically enough) and only 12 have ever done it since World War I. That stat alone scares me away from taking Rory but I also have to believe at some point there is a hangover effect, and I’m not talking about the one from drinking Jägermeister out of the Claret Jug (which is awesome by the way).
Sergio Garcia 28/1 – To be really honest, I loved Sergio this week. Seriously. He’s always had the game to win a major, it was just that pesky little thing between his ears that has been his biggest problem. However, when he didn’t have a Sergio meltdown after leaving it in the bunker late Sunday of the British I dare say young Sergio has all grown up. Or so I thought. And then he started speaking at Firestone and I remembered why he is 0-for his lifetime in Majors. “I'm not going to lie to you,” Garcia said, “It's not my favorite golf course in the world.” Yep, same Sergio. Besides, the last time he played at Valhalla, six years ago, he lost to Anthony Kim (5 and 4) in a Sunday singles match at the 2008 Ryder Cup. Which reminds me, Anthony Kim was good enough to qualify for a Ryder Cup team once upon a time??? Throw in his blown lead at the WGC last Sunday and I’m pretty sure Sergio doesn’t even believe Sergio can win this week.
The Heisenberg Group (The Man):
Adam Scott 15/1 – I literally couldn’t come up with a single reason not to take him this week. Drives it long and straight (that’s what she said), great iron player, putts well on these type of greens, his caddy won the last PGA held here and he has finished inside the top 15 in 11 of the last 12 majors he has played in. So why not this week?
