Hondo
Hondo still living large
Hondo remained the sole occupant of the Best Bet penthouse, despite going one for three with his top selections. Thus, he would like to offer some early holiday cheer to his closest competitors for their cooperation in his past and continued success.
Jets over Titans: Even though the Titans erupted for 42 points against the Jags, don’t buy into any Mularkey that Tennessee now has a potent offense. Remember to forget the Titans, especially with Fitzpatrick, the journeyman, leading the Jets to a playoff journey, man.
Bengals over Steelers: Angela Merkel was named Time’s Person of the Year, prompting Donald “El Donaldo” Trump, who finished third, to comment: “Look at that face. Why would anyone vote for that?” Iranian President Hassan Rouhani came in fifth, a lofty finish no doubt due to his having totally hosed Obama and Kerry in the nuke deal.
Eagles over Bills: Steve Sarkisian is suing Southern Cal for firing him as football coach because of his “disability,” aka excessive drinking. USC shouldn’t worry too much, though; Hondo hears Cutty Sark intends to represent himself as a member in good standing of the California Bars Association. Emailer Donny Mac says Sarkisian just wants another shot.
Panthers over Falcons: Hillary Clinton denies now that when she was Secretary of State she told grieving family members that their relatives had been killed in Benghazi because of an offensive film about Islam. However, let’s not be overly tough on the Portly Pantsuit; it’s not easy to keep all those lies straight. Secretary of State John Kerry surpassed Hillary in frequent flyer miles, but she still holds the record for countries visited as Sec. of State with 112, with not a single accomplishment of note in any of them.
49ers over Browns: According to The Post’s “Eating Right” section, champagne is good for your heart and memory. So, apparently newly renamed starter Johnny Manziel was pursuing self-improvement while partying during his bubbly bye week.
Bears over Redskins: Stephen Colbert’s “Late Show” dropped all the way down to fourth place in a recent late-night ratings week, finishing behind Seth Myers. On the bright side, the smarmy southpaw at least was able to beat R-S MSNBC (Ratings-Starved MSNBC) reruns of “All In with Chris Hayes” and “The Rachel Maddow Show.”
Lions over Rams: The cause of the Rams’ problems finally was revealed this week. It wasn’t the players’ effort, a notion adamantly refuted by Jeff Fisher after Week 12’s 31-7 bludgeoning by the Bengals. No, it was offensive coordinator Frank Cignetti, whom Fisher fired after Week 13’s 27-3 bludgeoning by the Cards.
Chargers over Chiefs: Two from BarkingMut, aka the HondoNation SoBe Bureau Chief: With Philip Rivers’ wife giving birth to their eighth child a few weeks ago, the Chargers QB has proven he can complete his passes without protection. … Rivers has a new TV show in the works that will be titled: “Eight May Or May Not Be Enough.”
Saints over Bucs: Emauler Ed Buckmir submits: Will Smith was nominated for a Golden Globe for his role as a doctor trying to uncover the truth in the football drama “Concussion.” In reel life, the role of inept NFL commissioner is played by Luke Wilson, while in real life, the role of inept NFL commissioner is played by Roger Goodell.
Colts over Jaguars: Watch dealer Steven Rostovsky had a $600,000 watch lifted from his Midtown hotel by two women he was partying with earlier at Sapphire Gentleman’s Club. This sort of thing could be avoided only if everyone carried around a Clock Boy Bomb Clock.
Seahawks over Ravens: Clairvoyant Baba Vanga, a blind mystic from Bulgaria, reportedly predicted, 9/11, the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami, the Fukushima nuclear disaster and birth of ISIS. It’s a shame Baba died in 1996; she could have been a worthy adversary for perennial Bettor’s Guide Girls Division Champ Ms. Charleen.
Broncos over Raiders: Quentin Tarantino reportedly is stepping back from protesting cop violence to promote “The Hateful Eight,” his latest movie that glorifies violence.
Cowboys over Packers: NFL supervisor of officials Dean Blandino on the phantom face-mask penalty that gave the Packers another play and enabled Aaron Rodgers to throw a Hail Mary to beat the Lions: “I’m not convinced it wasn’t a face mask.” Well, that’s a big improvement for the zebras if there’s a possibility there’s an outside chance they might have gotten one right.
Patriots over Texans: Animal activist Pamela Anderson met with Vladimir Putin’s chief of staff, Sergei Ivanov, in Moscow this week to discuss freeing orcas and dolphins from sea aquariums. Sources say Ivanov agreed to help her cause but only if Pam consented to help his cause, which was, at some point in the meeting, to free her sweater puppies.
Giants over Dolphins: Tom Coughlin overthought a no-brainer and the Giants paid the price against the Jets. Worse than that, so did Hondo, who named it his Week 13 Stick It To Mr. Aitch Game of the Week. That said, not even Tommy Tightbutt can butcher a point-spread win over the seriously flawed Fish.
Best bets: Panthers, Broncos, Giants.
Thursday night: Cardinals (L).