Hondo
Hondo trumps Loftis
Hondo once again fell below the .500 mark, going 5-8-2 in Week 6 to fall 13 games behind sizzling Drew Loftis. However, at this point, Mr. Aitch can’t say he is willing to commit to accepting an overall victory by Loftis.
Rams over Giants: Josh Brown, it turns out, is an admitted serial wife-abuser, a fact that somehow went undiscovered during the 10-month investigation by commissioner Roger “$44M-A-Year” Goodell. Imagine that — more gross incompetence by the World’s Most Overpaid Man. Way to maintain your cherished “integrity of the game,” Rog.
At least, the NFL’s dwindling fan base can take comfort in the fact the integrity of the properly inflated football remains intact.
Ben “The Enabler” McAdoo had this to say about why Odell Beckham Jr. took a 15-yard penalty for removing his helmet after scoring against the Ravens: “He went out there and wanted to fire up our kick coverage and the defense.” Right, because nothing fires up the special teams or defense like a totally self-absorbed, preening teammate.
Hondo’s advice to the punters in London is that, the price looks right for backing Big Blue, and by pulling Brown off the plane Thursday, they probably avoided a swift karma kick in the butt.
From BarkingMut, the HondoNation SoBe Bureau Chief: The last time a man proposed to an inanimate object designed to collapse as Beckham did to the kicking net last Sunday, was when Bill Clinton popped the question to Hillary back in the 1970s.
Ravens over Jets: Summoning Geno Smith from the bullpen was the only significant move Todd Bowles could make, but it doesn’t make Gang Grim worthy of financial support.
Eagles over Vikings: Post-debate ABC commentators, George Snuffleupagus, et. al, seemed horrified that Trump, when asked, wouldn’t commit to accepting the election result if he lost, a la Al Gore in 2000. First of all, in the words of Hillary Clinton, at that point, what difference would it make? Secondly, what was Hillary’s response to the same question? It’s hard to say, because she wasn’t asked.
Chiefs over Saints: If you don’t believe most media outlets are in the tank for Hillary, follow the money — 96 percent of journalist donations went to the Portly Pantsuit’s coffers.
Lions over Redskins: Obama tore into Trump on Tuesday, saying: “If, whenever things are going badly for you and you lose, you start blaming somebody else, then you don’t have what it takes to be in this job.” That from the guy who has spent most of the last eight years blaming George W. Bush for the nation’s ills.
Browns over Bengals: It’s not all bad news for the 2-4 Bengwads. It looks as if they won’t have to endure the embarrassment of a sixth straight one-and-done postseason.
Dolphins over Bills: A federal grand jury soon will convene to consider charges against Anthony Weiner for alleged online sexting with an underage girl. A-Wad is said to be angry he didn’t receive the same deal FBI Director James Comey gave Hillary and her aides — destruction of his hand-held device (the unattached one) and a finding of no intent to commit a crime, despite a mountain of evidence to the contrary.
Jaguars over Raiders: A largely naked Hillary statue that was put up in Lower Manhattan, complete with a Wall Street banker’s head peering out from the side of her left sweater puppy, was ordered removed by officers from the counterterrorism unit. While displaying a “naked Hillary” could be considered an act of terrorism, it’s surprising Comey didn’t hop on the shuttle and handle the job himself.
Ever since seeing that picture of the largely naked Hillary statue, Hondo can’t get that song lyric out of his head — Lady Hil-LIE-ry, banker at your breast, wonder how you managed to avoid arrest.
Colts over Titans: Mr. Aitch’s two main betrayers from Week 6 square off. The Titans gave up two TDs in the final 2:27 to blow their cover against the Browns, and the Colts gave up two TDs in the final 2:37 of regulation and a pushing FG in OT. It’s a shame they both can’t lose.
Falcons over Chargers: Two hundred people reportedly walked out on Amy Schumer’s recent show in Tampa. It’s unclear if the exodus was because of her cracks about Trump or because they already had heard the material from other comedians.
Bucs over 49ers: Colin Kaepernick, 13 of 29 for 187 yards in his 2016 starting debut, said after the 49ers’ loss to the Bills: “It felt good to get out there and give my team the opportunity to win.” That’s an interesting way of looking at a 45-16 drubbing.
Patriots over Steelers: Another from BarkingMut: Donald Trump calling Hillary “Crooked” also would have worked well with her husband, Peyronie Bill.
Cardinals over Seahawks: The combined cases of sexually transmitted diseases reportedly are at an all-time high. That’s according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, which apparently isn’t doing much in the way of controlling or preventing in that area. If the CDC wants to be proactive, it might want to quarantine Jim Carrey.
Broncos over Texans: Hacked email of the week: From Democratic operative Neera Tanden: “It worries me more that [Hillary] she doesn’t seem to know what planet we are living in at the moment.” Earth to Pantsuit … Earth to Pantsuit …
Best bets: Chiefs, Lions, Patriots.
Thursday: Packers (W)