From Best of Craigslist http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/641609489.html
<title>best of craigslist : For Sale—One (1) Wife, slightly used, 1964 Model</title><link title="craigslist" media="all" href="http://www.craigslist.org/styles/craigslist.css" type="text/css" rel="stylesheet"><link href="/favicon.ico" type="image/x-icon" rel="shortcut icon">For Sale—One (1) Wife, slightly used, 1964 Model
<hr> Date: 2008-04-14, 2:09AM PDT
Needs muffler, as it is currently VERY LOUD. Intake valve is stuck in the open position.
Rear end needs major overhaul. A crack there has grown monstrously large.
Needs re-wiring—Many wires are currently crossed.
Lots of little dings in the body, which have been covered up with too much paint in a
failed effort at camouflaging them.
Needs re-upholstering—Carpet has turned a dingy gray.
Needs front-end work--Tits are too close to the ground, and knees are too far apart.
May not pass emissions test, as it currently produces foul clouds of malodorous gases on a regular basis,
Heater works great. Hot air is never in short supply..
Asking $500 or trade for 1984 model.
<title>best of craigslist : For Sale—One (1) Wife, slightly used, 1964 Model</title><link title="craigslist" media="all" href="http://www.craigslist.org/styles/craigslist.css" type="text/css" rel="stylesheet"><link href="/favicon.ico" type="image/x-icon" rel="shortcut icon">For Sale—One (1) Wife, slightly used, 1964 Model
<hr> Date: 2008-04-14, 2:09AM PDT
Needs muffler, as it is currently VERY LOUD. Intake valve is stuck in the open position.
Rear end needs major overhaul. A crack there has grown monstrously large.
Needs re-wiring—Many wires are currently crossed.
Lots of little dings in the body, which have been covered up with too much paint in a
failed effort at camouflaging them.
Needs re-upholstering—Carpet has turned a dingy gray.
Needs front-end work--Tits are too close to the ground, and knees are too far apart.
May not pass emissions test, as it currently produces foul clouds of malodorous gases on a regular basis,
Heater works great. Hot air is never in short supply..
Asking $500 or trade for 1984 model.
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Listen my man...get the best divorce lawyer you can find. Find out quick by word of mouth who has the best connections and reputation.
Get him on retainer next week so your wife can't get him. Look for a shark.
Then go after her...be aggressive....scare the crap out of her.
Then after you break her...offer to split everything fair...down the middle...she'll then be happy to do it...completely different mind set if you start out aggressive.
Fire your shark...and finish things up all nicey nice with a lawyer you share to make it legal...and cheap. Be fair ..and demand the same.
This is the easiest...and cheapest way to do it in the long run. But go after her first...in legal matters..whoever hits first controls the game.
Get him on retainer next week so your wife can't get him. Look for a shark.
Then go after her...be aggressive....scare the crap out of her.
Then after you break her...offer to split everything fair...down the middle...she'll then be happy to do it...completely different mind set if you start out aggressive.
Fire your shark...and finish things up all nicey nice with a lawyer you share to make it legal...and cheap. Be fair ..and demand the same.
This is the easiest...and cheapest way to do it in the long run. But go after her first...in legal matters..whoever hits first controls the game.
My advice is this -find out who the best divorce lawyer in town is...
Then tell her you want a divorce and want to split everything 50/50. (Minus the shit like you keeping your shoes and her the cat).
IF she agrees, great - go to a cheap lawyer and have a contract drafted.
IF she says no, then no mercy, go hire the guy from line one and go for kill...
Most likely she'll go for half - especially if you tell her she can stay in the house and give you half when she moves. The alternative option if she has an income and wants to stay is to take out a home equity loan on half and let her repay it making the house hers.
I am so never getting married. Today I was joking about private jets. A really hot friend of mine said - I'll marry you if you get one. That sums it up right there... No fucking chance in hell. It's the worst contract you'll ever sign.
Sean
Then tell her you want a divorce and want to split everything 50/50. (Minus the shit like you keeping your shoes and her the cat).
IF she agrees, great - go to a cheap lawyer and have a contract drafted.
IF she says no, then no mercy, go hire the guy from line one and go for kill...
Most likely she'll go for half - especially if you tell her she can stay in the house and give you half when she moves. The alternative option if she has an income and wants to stay is to take out a home equity loan on half and let her repay it making the house hers.
I am so never getting married. Today I was joking about private jets. A really hot friend of mine said - I'll marry you if you get one. That sums it up right there... No fucking chance in hell. It's the worst contract you'll ever sign.
Sean
