I use the same hose you use for your sheep harem, I don't touch the marbles though.
To answer your original question...
To be honest with you most bars suck big time, I try to spend most of my time at the beach.
Once in a while I'll go to "Frankie Go, Prive, Living or Utopia" just to see some fine ass, you can't argue that those places get the hottest girls and they dress to impress. Expensive, music blows and getting in can be a pain in the ass. And yes, most people there suck.
I sometimes go to "La nueva Calle de la Amargura" near la California, usually to "La Esquina", "San Lucas", "Observatorio" if they have any good music shows and late night to "Area City" (what a shithole). They are all a couple of blocks away from each other so variety is good and they are much cheaper. Music much better here even though most places have very shitty sound systems.
Haven't been to "Calle de la Amargura" or "El Pueblo" in many years. They just give me a bad vibe.
Too bad "La Patagonia" in Santa Ana is not around anymore. That was an awesome place. By far the best bar I've been to here in CR.