My favorite tout one liners

Yes my dumbass did fall victim to the tout servces. In my early 20's I was convinced that someone somewhere could make me money betting sports. I have compiled some of my favorite one liners for those inspired touts or just ones looking for a laugh.

1)Jeff Allen Sports
"Dicky Tough beat last night but believe me I had it for alot more then you did"

Oh really clerk boy? That $8.00 an hour Jeff pays you must go a long way

2)NY wiseguy sports
"Dicky where were you lastnight I had a good one for you"

Well Paul I was here all night why? No I work at 4:30 am I never go out during the week. What the answering machine did'nt pick up? Oh well nevermind.
Pretty funny that Paul ONLY got a hold of me on the nights he went 1-3. He was the funniest one of them all and actually enjoyed talking to him

3)Jim Fiest(the biggest piece of dog shit)
"what you never lost a game before? jesus your crying like a baby, grow up"

This was after I paid him 300.00 for a 0-3 day and dropped 400.00 to my book (my paycheck for the week)Pardon me for complaning about it.

4) Don't remember his name or his company
"We never play on fridays, suckers play on fridays"

I was most ashamed about paying this con-man money. He called gave me a short pitch and said he had another client on the line and asked if I could call him back, I agreed. I call him back (no toll free number)After speaking to the man for 20 minutes I relized the guy was probably 80 yrs old and lonely. I called him for two days right before the 7-7:30 and I woke the old prick up out of a dead sleep. asked him for my picks after shuffling the newspaper for 5 minutes he gives me a couple of picks one of them being Bobby Morris.
"We never play on fridays, suckers play on fridays"
LMAO sure gramps just tell me the truth we dont play on fridays because it's your shuffle board night at the rec center and your not available.

5)Wayne Root enterprises
"What color suit was I wearing saturday? Do you care? well today I have a different suit on"

This was his response after I questioned the god of capping how he went 0-4 on Saturday and why I would want to pay him for his picks today. Not sure what he meant I just thought it was funny. Guess he meant different suit different result

 

Good post.

I bought Barbara Something's service for NBA back in the '80's, paid $600 for the season.

I think I lost, but no complaints. She gave out her picks, one star or two stars, that was it.

No BS if you won or lost, just the picks. Never tried to sell me "up" either.

 

this is a very hard to believe story but i swear its true..
back in 1977 i was working as the teaching pro at a club and making about 200 a week plus playing poker 2 nights a week and answering the phone for a guy to <supplement> my income.
i saw ads for danny sheridan saying he was like 90 percent liftime in football. articles all over the place and i fell for it.. sent him 1000 for his season <picks > which were sent special delivery mail to arrive on friday. long story but he loses every week . every mf week

so halloween fell on a saturday and i get his picks which have a big <pumpkin> printed at the top of the page...
underneath he has written that he is sorry about the losses but has never ever lost when he has the <pumpkin> at the top of the page..
swear the truth.... like the fvcking pumpkin is some kind of magic <voodo> charm
anyway o fer that weekend and that was the end of that
and this <maroon> still manages to stay in the news for another 20 years

<doofus>

 

me being a <dumbass>

 

"pay only after you win."

 

[altice]

Dicky W,

While this may not totally be related to your question, I love when everyone talks about touts, sportsbook owners, other posters, forum moderators with agendas and say the following

He is a standup guy..

 

[BigDawg+]

Dicky,
Love to hear you guys rippin' on touts.These jackoffs don't know anymore than you and I until the game is final.

 

Dicky , you paid 300 for picks went 0-fer and lost 400

explain that one?

So if you swept you would have paid 300 and won 100?

Maybe it was a season package

Just looked a little funny..

 

Jman
Yes J man it was more then four picks. It was not a season package if I remember correctly it was a 12 or 14 game college hoop package. After the -740.00 day 1 loss I was'nt to impressed with the service and decided to let him know. A 0-4 start was the last thing on a 21yr old squares mind.

 

Sheridan Was a Tout?
How does one go from an unsuccessful tout to a line maker?
Unreal

The RX Rules

 

yea dog
sure was
saw the add for him in the old <jk> sports journal

 

Mort Olsen at the Gold Sheet used to knock Sheridan every issue back in the 80's as being the worst tout/handicapper on the planet. He used to do his biography (tout city), the whole nine years.

But he parlayed it into a career. Guess the gift of gab and a few kiss-asses along the way move you right along.

 

peep
guy i used to answer the phone for knew mort
this guy i workd=ed for was <sharp> on the acc and a very good golf man and mort would call him and talk to him.
mort would give us his late telephone service for free
we would fade>>> them and did very well

 

[PanchoSanza]

I always though Sheridan was a weasel.

That pumpkin story was too much.

 

Peep,Barbara something.You maybe talking about Barbara Bags.That's what everyone in the biz called her.Don't remember her real name.Worked with her in the States.My understanding was that she wasn't a bad tout.Still she was working in an office so how much could she be making off her picks.Has to be the same woman.

 

When I lived in Vegas I used to hang around a little bit at an old tout service run by a guy from Steubenville, Ohio, his name was Howie. Well Howie had about 40 or so customers from different parts of the country. He also liked to have a big play of the week on Monday night during Foots. I forget how many stars he gave his POW, but it was at least triple any other play he would give out all week. He also wanted to gurantee that he had a good sized group of winners of the POW, in order to assure this became the case, Howie, in his infinite wisdom, came up with the tout strategy I dubbed EAST - WESTING. He drew a line down the center of a map of the US, right down the Mississippi river. Lets say Miami was - 3 over Pittsburg. Howie would toss a coin, heads meant The Steelers got the East Side of the line and the Dolphins + 3 got the west side of the line. He then waited for the customers to call, when one did he checked his address on a list he had made up special, all premarked by name and address geographically, east or west of the Mississippi. When a guy from say New York called he gave him the Steelers -3 and told him it was the 50 (?) star pick of the week, if the next call was from, say, Denver, he got the Dolphins +3, and the spiel about the play of the week being a can't lose 50 star selection. This way he was guranteed more or less 50 % winners no matter what team covered the spread. Naturally the next day he called the winners immediately and re-uped them for as much as possible, the losers were given the next Monday night POW free. Howie, you had to see him in action to believe it, but its a true story.

wil.

 

Wil
Great story! oldest scam in the book, east westing love it.

 

Thanks for the story Wil.
And Touts wonder why they have a bad reputation...

lmfao

 

[DaveDaBurner]

in response to dicky's comment about being a 21 yr old square, well im now a 22 year old square, so only a year ago i was a 21 year old square and paid for ATS consultants <financial> package. 400 for the rest of cfb and nfl (this was around week 4 of the nfl) Package definately won me money in cfb, guy was pretty good at college, but nfl, damn was it ass. Denver broncos went on like a 6 game ats slide, ATS consultants had them EVERY WEEK. One of them as a GOY. ANy time we woudl call and bitch about a shitty weekend, his response was always "the 4 team round robin parlay in week 3 netted 38 units, this weeks losses hardly cuts into that"

Gotta Love the UPS...Gotta love the downs

 

"the 4 team round robin parlay in week 3 netted 38 units, this weeks losses hardly cuts into that"

Dave
LMAO Thats what I wanted from this thread a few laughs.