1. In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and
populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and
yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would
livelong and healthy lives.
2. Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice
Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate
with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as
you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And
Satan smiled.
3. And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the
figure that Man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the
cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.
4. So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."
And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and
garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts
following the repast.
5. God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and
olive oil in which to cook them.
And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big
it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his
cholesterol went through the roof.
6. God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food
Cake" and said, "It is good."
Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."
7 . God then brought forth running shoes so that his children might
lose those extra pounds.
And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to
toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried
before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.
8 . Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and
brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center
into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds .
9 . God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories
and still satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger.
Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And
super-size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into
cardiac arrest.
10 . God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
11. Then Satan created the Health Care System.
Amen
populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and
yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would
livelong and healthy lives.
2. Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice
Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate
with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as
you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And
Satan smiled.
3. And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the
figure that Man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the
cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.
4. So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."
And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and
garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts
following the repast.
5. God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and
olive oil in which to cook them.
And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big
it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his
cholesterol went through the roof.
6. God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food
Cake" and said, "It is good."
Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."
7 . God then brought forth running shoes so that his children might
lose those extra pounds.
And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to
toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried
before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.
8 . Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and
brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center
into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds .
9 . God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories
and still satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger.
Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And
super-size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into
cardiac arrest.
10 . God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
11. Then Satan created the Health Care System.
Amen
