The candidate drugs, with excerpts:
Viagra (1, 50mg)
"For ten minutes while we were screwing, every time I blinked I'd see large blue dots, about the size of a dinner plate as viewed from three feet away. I would've been alarmed, but I had read about this side effect on the Pfizer website earlier. Apparently, some men have blue-tinted vision for the better part of their experience. On one hand, that's alarming. The upside, I guess, is that you can pretend you're banging Smurfette."
Ecstasy (1, type: "Ninja Star")
"I've never started tripping in the tub before, and part of me ardently believes that, from a health-and-safety perspective, it's a wholly inadvisable thing to do. (Ecstasy tends to make your body temperature fluctuate wildly, and, well, there's the whole drowning thing to consider.)"
Mushrooms ('Shrooms)
"Erica and I began to kiss and writhe around, but strangely enough, sex was the furthest thing from my mind. The mushrooms I had taken were supposed to be magic, but my penis was looking decidedly shiitake."
Cocaine ($40 bag)
"I'd never really thought about what sex on cocaine could entail. I mean, I know what I'm like when I'm on coke: chatty and teeth grinding. I guess I'd always thought that, in theory at least, doing a line off a girl's ass might be hot."
Marijuana (1 nugget, strain: "Juicy Fruit")
"Erica was already sleepy when we started. We had crammed a lot of drugs and sex into the previous twenty-four hours. If I hadn't known better, I'd have guessed she was stoned too. Instead, she was taking a rare opportunity to relax — without me pulling her around, trying to induce dirty talk or folding her in half at the waist, she just chilled out while I embarked on my bizarro sex trip to the Carter Administration. Afterward, she told me that I had seemed 'somewhere else' during the whole thing, my eyes screwed tight, a bemused expression on my face. Although she initially found this amusing, she said that after a while it was like being schtupped by a zombie or Tom Ridge."
Full story here. Especially amusing if you are a former chemical vacationer who used to do enough coke on an average Saturday night to send a rhinoceros into cardiac arrest. Not that I know anyone like that, of course.
Phaedrus
Viagra (1, 50mg)
"For ten minutes while we were screwing, every time I blinked I'd see large blue dots, about the size of a dinner plate as viewed from three feet away. I would've been alarmed, but I had read about this side effect on the Pfizer website earlier. Apparently, some men have blue-tinted vision for the better part of their experience. On one hand, that's alarming. The upside, I guess, is that you can pretend you're banging Smurfette."
Ecstasy (1, type: "Ninja Star")
"I've never started tripping in the tub before, and part of me ardently believes that, from a health-and-safety perspective, it's a wholly inadvisable thing to do. (Ecstasy tends to make your body temperature fluctuate wildly, and, well, there's the whole drowning thing to consider.)"
Mushrooms ('Shrooms)
"Erica and I began to kiss and writhe around, but strangely enough, sex was the furthest thing from my mind. The mushrooms I had taken were supposed to be magic, but my penis was looking decidedly shiitake."
Cocaine ($40 bag)
"I'd never really thought about what sex on cocaine could entail. I mean, I know what I'm like when I'm on coke: chatty and teeth grinding. I guess I'd always thought that, in theory at least, doing a line off a girl's ass might be hot."
Marijuana (1 nugget, strain: "Juicy Fruit")
"Erica was already sleepy when we started. We had crammed a lot of drugs and sex into the previous twenty-four hours. If I hadn't known better, I'd have guessed she was stoned too. Instead, she was taking a rare opportunity to relax — without me pulling her around, trying to induce dirty talk or folding her in half at the waist, she just chilled out while I embarked on my bizarro sex trip to the Carter Administration. Afterward, she told me that I had seemed 'somewhere else' during the whole thing, my eyes screwed tight, a bemused expression on my face. Although she initially found this amusing, she said that after a while it was like being schtupped by a zombie or Tom Ridge."
Full story here. Especially amusing if you are a former chemical vacationer who used to do enough coke on an average Saturday night to send a rhinoceros into cardiac arrest. Not that I know anyone like that, of course.
Phaedrus
