Shit buster, you got me on a story tellin trip now.
When I was 22, I dated a 31 yr old that was blazin hot. 4'11, tan, blonde, fake boobs etc. Just sexy as hell.
She was one of the dow corning boob leakage lawsuits so when I met her she was going through legal battles and on meds because of the silicon leakage.
I loved the shit out of this broad but the meds would make her violent cause she was mixin too many pills. She'd get pissed off at me and start driving her honda crx down city streets weaving in and out of traffic at like 75mph. I was scared to death and I'm a daredevil.
I said dont you ever do that shit again you fucking bitch!
We had some bad brawls. Id tell her we needed to separate and she would start pushing me in the chest and telling me she wanted to fish fight me. She was insane. Tiny little italian broad.
Id go over to her house for dinner, it was like the twightlight zone. All the fucking kids lived at home and were in their thirties. They'd get in fights at the dinner table and threaten eachother with knives, tell eachother they were going to kill them in their sleep and chit. I was like wtf is this.
When I met her dad, he said... "Are you selena's new boyfriend?" I was like yeah, pleased to meet ya. He looks at me and says I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU. LOL
That was all the dude ever said to me. Id come over to their house and I didnt even exist.
Anyway, I finally decide I need to cut ties with this broad cause she's nuts. We're into it for 1.5 yrs now and its just time to shut it down.
So she refused to leave. So I said ok, i'll just walk to the store then. I go to the store, grab a bag of chicken and a six pack of beers because i'm going to celebrate our breakup and Im not shittin ya i was happy to kick her out.
So, this is where the boring story gets good. She calls the cops, tell them im going to drive drunk and I havent even left my apartment. She started wiggin out. To make a long story short. She stayed outside my apartment living in her honda crx for over a week along with a dog in the car.
She never left for more than a few mins and that was to grab some food from the store. She didnt shower, she was pissing and shitting in the bushes it was horrible. I felt horrible for her. I called her mom and begged her to come get her. All the mom did was chew my ass out and tell me that i wasnt going to dump her, or THE MOM was going to come over and kick my ass. These people were nuts.
So, she finally left after about a week.
I ran into her on a package delivery a couple yrs later. She was never short on looks man, lemme tell ya. That was never a problem. Nor was the sex. Egads, maybe still the best tail I ever got. So I come into this carpet store and start talking to her, she's wearing this short mini skirt.
I totally lost control. I walked up to her, started running on her leg and moved a hand up her thigh and started fingering this chick behind the counter at the carpet store. Nobody was in there I took her by the hand, went in the backroom and drilled the shit out of her on the floor.
I saw her in traffic once since then. We both smiled and went our separate ways.
If she would have just kept her mouth shut, Id probably still be with her.
As archie bunker would sing...
"Thooooooooose WOYYYYY THE DAYS!'
