I am in WAY TOO DEEP here , it could be the end of The Journeyman...

[BigGamesOnly]

Dear Confused in Maryland:

Who says she has to move in with you? You could set up separate living arrangements in Maryland. That way if things don't work out it will be easier for her to move back to Tennessee. If things do work out she can move in. This doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing proposition.

Just remember, unless you make a lifelong commitment you don't have to spend the rest of your life with her even if she does move in with you. You're not stuck for life so don't think of it as the worst thing you will have done.

 

[suetoneous]

My friend met a girl on the internet. He married her and had a baby. It lasted 2 years. He literlly hates her guts!

Journey, I'm a married man, so let me give you some things to look for:

1) Is she prone to agruing? Or worse, does she feel she NEEDS to win every argument. If so, don't even try it!

2) Don't get caught up in the 'killer bod' or 'great sex' thing(s). Trust me, the bod will fade... and the sex will last for about a month, then you'll slowly tire of it.

3) Beware of supressed character traits. IOWs, she's most likely going to put on her best face while you have the upper hand. You should try to find her x. He'll tell you 'the real her'. My friend went out with a girl for a two months. It took that long to find out she had a vicious temper. She went after a previous boyfriend with knife.

The good thing here is that she's 25. That means she's likely still 'trainable'

GL

 

[Fishhead]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by BigGamesOnly:
Dear Confused in Maryland:

Who says she has to move in with you? You could set up separate living arrangements in Maryland. That way if things don't work out it will be easier for her to move back to Tennessee. If things do work out she can move in. This doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing proposition.

Just remember, unless you make a lifelong commitment you don't have to spend the rest of your life with her even if she does move in with you. You're not stuck for life so don't think of it as the worst thing you will have done.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I HAVE A GREAT IDEA!!!!! YOU ARE NOT FAR FROM SHRINKS MANSION ARE YOU J-MAN???

 

[Comeon!!!!]

I noticed something is missing on the replies to this post...
ARE YOU READY TO BE A FATHER?
I guess you could be ready to move in with a totally co-depent woman who wants to marry and have children with a guy she knows for a few month and hasn't meet yet... But just because she has a great body, but would it be fair to the her kid?

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> The good thing here is that she's 25. That means she's likely still 'trainable'

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Well suetoneous, I don't think getting pregnant at 17 made her 'trainable'...

 

[Col.Forbin]

wow, sounds like you have yourself in quite the predicament. You just have to be honest with her before she moves in and tell her about your lifestyle. if she doesn't know your a gambler you must tell her about it and explain to her how it's going to be. there is no way you can hide it, plus it wouldn't be fair to her and would cause major problems down the road.

good luck

 

[Journeyman]

Lady- I AM A FATHER....actually that works out well her daughter is a year older than mine....

The responses have been great! well thought out and the experiences do mean something to me, thanks to all who have chimed in...

Yes she seems to have a controlling way about her, kinda a fatal attraction type, always wondering why I haven`t called her, sending me emails asking where am I...

I feel like I`m about to bet on Tampa Bay ( I never win a game involving Tampa Bay) If I don`t do it, I will regret it forever...If I do it I will wish I didn`t , THATS HOW I FEEL AND ITS DRIVING ME NUTS!

 

[BillDozer]

Its just like training a lil puppy.

Dont let her tell you what to do now and do all the things you plan on doing next yr otherwise she will be pissed when she meets the real you. If you dont wanna be a dad dont act like one from the start. Let her decide if she wants what you are from the start. Its not all on you.

We got a gret pyrenees puppy. For those of you who dont know its the cutest puppy you will ever see but grows into a 125 lb huge dog. Well we let her sleep on the bed in the beginning and now my wife and I get 1/4 of the bed. So give her the deal from the get go and you'll be fine. You dont want to sleep with a 125 lb dog. Trust me!

 

[Kiss1]

Interesting Thread.

I'm a fifty year old married twenty years guy.

This may sound silly but I believe there is someone "special" out there for everybody.

Take a shot, this way you never have to worry that the train left the station and you never jumped aboard.

There is NO DOUBT that you will have to make very serious ajustments to your life style.

Be prepared ahead of time.

Good Luck !

 

[Comeon!!!!]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> Yes she seems to have a controlling way about her, kinda a fatal attraction type, always wondering why I haven`t called her, sending me emails asking where am I...She has already told me I have to be home just about every night, and that we will watch movies and 'cuddle' lol on the couch .... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
And THAT without ever meeting you in person?!?!

Imagine If you were already in a REAL relationship!...ok, I know your relationship is real, you know what I meant...
RUN, JOURNEYMAN, RUN!!!!!!

Jokes aside, I'm thinking she could move in to the same state, maybe even your neighborhood...
All that "moving in with you right away" has a desperate ring that just doesn't sound quite right to me...
Here's an idea: Why don't you just come out all clean about your gambling, your watching the games, and any other habits you think she should know about?
If she agrees, and keeps a straight face about it AFTER moving in, she's a keeper... If she agrees, but after a while starts nagging, you can always tell her she was warned upfront...And what she can do if she doesn't like it!

Or maybe she's running away from Tennessee because some mob gorilla wants to break her legs because she owes massive amounts of money due to gambling!

[This message was edited by A Lady Passing by on October 15, 2003 at 01:27 PM.]

 

[Journeyman]

I don't think my gambling is really an issue, I don't let it consume me really...its just I am set in my ways, and she's already laying ground rules...its hard to get a real feel for it all from afar...its a very tough call, I have read these responses all morning and changed my mind several times

Here's another thing that kind of annoys me, she seems to always be sick and taking off work......Now how can I tell if she is just taking off work because she is leaving anyway or is she one of those types that always changes jobs....Another thing she has a rich father, he pays for her car (brand new) and she carries one of his credit cards....So its a complicated call on my part...she could be the answer , or she could be Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction

Meanwhile the clock is ticking

 

[Comeon!!!!]

You know? It's starting to sound like you already made your mind...
But you want the forum to talk you out of it!!!

Also, the only really good thing you've said about her has to do with her body, and all your complaints are going straight to her personality...That should tell you something!
I guess if we don't see you around starting next friday, we all might guess what your choice was...

 

[Chadster]

Get a pair buddy

 

[Journeyman]

 

[ericdixon]

Journey,

If my recollection serves me, you have been wanting a girl in your life for some time. She has a child and you have a child, sounds good and per your above post is working. "She is hot", well then you are physically attracted to her, that is a good thing. Your not alone anymore, that is a good thing. She wants to spend a lot of time with you , so you lose some freedom, slightly negative. That alone leaves you hitting .750, you do the math, sounds to me like you need to work on the relationship and quit dwelling on the negative!

Pull up your bullocks and act like a man!

Sounds to me like you need to give this girl a fair chance and work on it! No, its not easy but at least you are not doing it alone.

 

[Journeyman]

I do tend to dwell on the negatives , thanks Eric

 

[ericdixon]

"No worries", Journey , relationships are never perfect and as humans we always question the efficacy. There are days I want to just find a hut near a good surf break and live out the rest of my fleeting life but I have made a committment and my wife deserves better than that, and my son deserves that and then some!

Is my relationship perfect?, "hell no" Is it pretty damn good ? Yes, because we work at it by compromising and forgiving!

Journey, just make a decision, if you want it to work then make it so, if not tell her to go home. If you are committed then the relationship stands a chance but if not, its doomed to fail!