R.I.P. Eddy Torres(the extra testicle)
So the other day while grooming my nether-regions I decided to go back to shave my taint so that my girl wouldnt accidently eat a butthair while sucking on the backside of my nutts and the worst case scenerio happened and your buddy NES ended up with the unthinkable, an ingrowned hair on my taint.
I didnt think it was a big deal but after two weeks it still hadnt came to a head and had grown to the size of a 1 year old dog's testicle. I was starting to get worried that it might be something serious, and started having nitemares about getting my taint amputated and having a boner that points south with out the help of my taint to keep it in place. I figured I should probably go to the doctor, but Im not a big fan of people shining flashlites up my asshole and since I had a half ounce of some good greens, a sewing needle, and the day off I decided I would put my fears to rest once and for all.
It was a hot Wednesday afternoon in Santa Ana when I laid the bathroom mirror accross the top of the toilet and straddled it to get a good look at my nemesis, the evil Third Nut. Before I go any further let me tell you, jabbing your taint with a sewing needle is no easy task, I dont care who you are. Anyways. it took a couple tries to get that needle underneath the skin, nothing came out, but Ive milked enough cows in my days to know how to get the flow going so I begin rolling E.T. between my thumb and forefingers and then magic happened.
The first spurt flew about three feet before meeting the shower curtain.The next ten came out in gloops, globs, squirts, and blobs showing a strong resemblence to jism and possessing an odor not unlike dirty rotten pussy. The last five resembled more chocolate covered cherries, without the chocolate or the cherries, but didnt smell near as bad as the first few CCs. By time it was done I had probably milked my taint for about two tablespoons of that sweet nectar and lost about five pounds of body weight due to excessive sweating.
Im happy to report that my taint is just fine, and I have learned my lesson. I hope you guys pay heed and dont stray too far back there with the razor as performing surgery on your own taint is no walk in the park.
So the other day while grooming my nether-regions I decided to go back to shave my taint so that my girl wouldnt accidently eat a butthair while sucking on the backside of my nutts and the worst case scenerio happened and your buddy NES ended up with the unthinkable, an ingrowned hair on my taint.
I didnt think it was a big deal but after two weeks it still hadnt came to a head and had grown to the size of a 1 year old dog's testicle. I was starting to get worried that it might be something serious, and started having nitemares about getting my taint amputated and having a boner that points south with out the help of my taint to keep it in place. I figured I should probably go to the doctor, but Im not a big fan of people shining flashlites up my asshole and since I had a half ounce of some good greens, a sewing needle, and the day off I decided I would put my fears to rest once and for all.
It was a hot Wednesday afternoon in Santa Ana when I laid the bathroom mirror accross the top of the toilet and straddled it to get a good look at my nemesis, the evil Third Nut. Before I go any further let me tell you, jabbing your taint with a sewing needle is no easy task, I dont care who you are. Anyways. it took a couple tries to get that needle underneath the skin, nothing came out, but Ive milked enough cows in my days to know how to get the flow going so I begin rolling E.T. between my thumb and forefingers and then magic happened.
The first spurt flew about three feet before meeting the shower curtain.The next ten came out in gloops, globs, squirts, and blobs showing a strong resemblence to jism and possessing an odor not unlike dirty rotten pussy. The last five resembled more chocolate covered cherries, without the chocolate or the cherries, but didnt smell near as bad as the first few CCs. By time it was done I had probably milked my taint for about two tablespoons of that sweet nectar and lost about five pounds of body weight due to excessive sweating.
Im happy to report that my taint is just fine, and I have learned my lesson. I hope you guys pay heed and dont stray too far back there with the razor as performing surgery on your own taint is no walk in the park.
