False Dmitri got OWNED.

FalseDmitri · Jan 12, 2007

Earlier this week, I was hanging out with my really hot female friend and one of her girlfriends. I cannot explain it, but I drank a couple beers and winding up passing out COLD. I seriously wasn't passed out drunk, I'd only had a couple beers. In any case, I woke up the next morning with black eyeliner written on my belly:

"Stacy was here" with big colored-in heart and an arrow pointing to my no-no parts.

It turns out that they tried to wake me up by taking turns giving me head and titty-fucking me. They kept expecting me to wake up but i NEVER DID.

I know for a fact they weren't making this up. DAMMIT!! The one time in my life I get a DOUBLE blowjob and I SLEEP THROUGH IT. They even wrote all over me. I got owned when I wasn't even drunk, I have NO IDEA why I was so passed out. Why, God, WHY???

hno: :ughhh: :smoking: :nohead: :Sad Face:

FalseDmitri · Jan 12, 2007

didn't think of snapping a pic of the writing. Probably better that way, no telling what Skins would have done with it!

SkinsRaj28 · Jan 12, 2007

Jesus christ, that story is depressing.

I'll still masturbate to the thought of it, though.

Kornholio · Jan 13, 2007

What are you 15? Grow up you homeless loser.

Where is the rest of the story that you are convieniently leaving out. The one where Santa came in your room and gave it to you Kris Kringle style and then forced you to deposit the white stuff into his beard.

Freak.

MonkeyMentos · Jan 13, 2007

Kornholio said:
What are you 15? Grow up you homeless loser.

Where is the rest of the story that you are convieniently leaving out. The one where Santa came in your room and gave it to you Kris Kringle style and then forced you to deposit the white stuff into his beard.

Freak.

:missingte:missingte:missingte
"I wrecked my Lexus on the way to pick up the Beemer I won in a radio contest, but it wasn't ready so they loaned me a 'Vette for a week. I'm so sad."

GameBreaker · Jan 13, 2007

SkinsRaj28 said:
I'll still masturbate to the thought of it, though.

ointer:

levistep · Jan 13, 2007

False Dmitri said:
In any case, I woke up the next morning with black eyeliner written on my belly

Your belly? No straight man calls it a belly. You are definitely gay and wouldn't have enjoyed it if you were awake anyways. Can't believe I am the only one who picked up on this.

kingbill · Jan 14, 2007

levistep said:
Your belly? No straight man calls it a belly. You are definitely gay and wouldn't have enjoyed it if you were awake anyways. Can't believe I am the only one who picked up on this.

You are thinking of the word Tummy, Belly is quite acceptable for a straight man to use...Man Law

Cultural Reference: Austin Powers

Fat Bastard: Get in My Belly

http://rob767.tripod.com/apbelly.wav

baranilla · Jan 15, 2007

False D. has an eye witness

levistep said:
Your belly? No straight man calls it a belly. You are definitely gay and wouldn't have enjoyed it if you were awake anyways. Can't believe I am the only one who picked up on this.

Ok, awkward though it may be, I can assure you that i can attest to the fact that False D. is definitely not gay. I can also assure you that, as an eyewitness to his story, it is all true - every word.
Last, as far as the word belly goes, I believe that originated with me teasing False D. about writing on his "belly" while he was asleep.
Before judging my friend and I too harshly fellas - we REALLY thought he would wake up. It never occurred to us that he would remain comatose. Let me just say this: the flesh is sometimes willing though the spirit is weak.

uppy:

baranilla · Jan 15, 2007

Kornholio said:
What are you 15? Grow up you homeless loser.

Where is the rest of the story that you are convieniently leaving out. The one where Santa came in your room and gave it to you Kris Kringle style and then forced you to deposit the white stuff into his beard.

Freak.

I believe there is at least one thread wherein you refer to False D as a pervert. Santa???? Thats sick Korn.

Kornholio · Jan 15, 2007

baranilla said:
I believe there is at least one thread wherein you refer to False D as a pervert. Santa???? Thats sick Korn.

It's an inside joke and Beave IS a perv. That is why I refer to him as one.

baranilla · Jan 15, 2007

Kornholio said:
It's an inside joke and Beave IS a perv. That is why I refer to him as one.

Well, Korn. In that case, I have but one answer. Pervs of the World Unite!
"Beave??" Anyway, perhaps you should worry more about your own man parts and where you would like to put them and worry less about False D.'s man parts and where he puts them.

twjd · Jan 15, 2007

I seen a movie where that same shit happen.

dave_1970 · Jan 15, 2007

False Dmitri said:
I got owned when I wasn't even drunk, I have NO IDEA why I was so passed out. Why, God, WHY???

Did you take 5 valium before you drank the beer? How can you not wake up to 2 chicks sucking your boy? What do you weigh like 60 pounds?

:WTF: :WTF:

kingbill · Jan 15, 2007

So in a way you were date raped by these women...Sexually assaulted...that sounds like you can get some blackmail sex out of that.

MonkeyMentos · Jan 15, 2007

Shitya king, guys pull that same stunt and it's 15 to life. Or two years with Mike Nifong using your good name as a butt plug. So yeah, he should get a boat load of payback sex out of this!

FalseDmitri · Jan 16, 2007

yeah, if I had forced my cock in their mouths while they were asleep, its a felony.

but in reality, the only real crime here is that I didn't wake up. Son of an unwed single mother! LOL
"blackmail sex......" I'll see what I can arrange. ROTFLMAO!
I didn't feel violated, I felt vindicated, especially given my phsycial liabilities....I'm sure SKINSRAJ can relate!! LOL

:dancefool

FalseDmitri · Jan 16, 2007

dave_1970 said:
False Dmitri said:

I got owned when I wasn't even drunk, I have NO IDEA why I was so passed out. Why, God, WHY???

Did you take 5 valium before you drank the beer? How can you not wake up to 2 chicks sucking your boy? What do you weigh like 60 pounds?

:WTF: :WTF:

Click to expand...

that's just it, I didn't take Xanax or pills, and I didn't have much to drink. I think it was just exhaustion, but that's not excuse.

:ughhh:

baranilla · Jan 16, 2007

MonkeyMentos said:
Shitya king, guys pull that same stunt and it's 15 to life. Or two years with Mike Nifong using your good name as a butt plug. So yeah, he should get a boat load of payback sex out of this!

I agree with you to a point, but I do have to say we were given permission when False D was both lucid and conscious. Payback sex would definitely be a suitable punishment. :103631605

Kornholio · Jan 16, 2007

baranilla said:
Well, Korn. In that case, I have but one answer. Pervs of the World Unite!
"Beave??" Anyway, perhaps you should worry more about your own man parts and where you would like to put them and worry less about False D.'s man parts and where he puts them.

What the fuck are you talking about? I was just messing around with Beave and then you come in hear talking shit to me. STFU bitch.