In a long anticipated move, the US bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms has been put in charge of the staunch regulation of mullets, and their possession.
"It's been a long time in the works," explains Lance Berkhalter, deputy director the newly reformed ATF&M. "When the bureau was originally founded, a hillbilly BBQ consisted of three inseparable elements, those being alcohol, tobacco and firearms. Times have changed and a fourth inseparable element has long been involved. I'm speaking, of course, of the mullet."
Until now there has been no regulation on who may possess a mullet, nor any kind of mullet registration. Many have complained of the dangers this has presented. An Akron Ohio woman tells Glossy News, "I am always worried when my son goes to visit his father. His father has a friend with a mullet and I never know when he'll be coming around with that thing, and that's just not safe around children."
Although mullets and cocaine were both very popular in the 1980's, it was believed with the crackdown on cocaine trafficking, that the mullet would soon die out. Largely that belief was correct, but the few remaining strongholds are determined to fight this new regulation.
King County Sheriff James Morgan tells us that there are "...areas where mullets remain a serious problem, typically about fifty to a hundred miles outside of any major city."
Bobbies have always dis-trusted the mullet-men, now that they support our war effort, we support their fashion police.
Police are now sharing profiles they have put together in past years. These files name specific mullet militants as well as those factories, or salons as they call themselves, where the mullets themselves are created."Many agricultural towns are going to see their mullet dealers disappearing. They have not been specifically outlawed at this time, but it is important to regulate their quantity and distribution, as well as collect a fashion tax on those willfully possessing them."
President Bush has been under growing pressure from the UN in recent years to put a stop to the growing mullet epidemic, even though there is no risk of it spreading beyond US borders. This move is only the first of many steps needed in order to comply.
Our reporters were able to find a man with a mullet at the swap meet, just by looking at his hair. When asked his opinion of the new regulations he replied, "You ax me what I think? Plain dumb, expecially since my girl loves it so good."
"It's been a long time in the works," explains Lance Berkhalter, deputy director the newly reformed ATF&M. "When the bureau was originally founded, a hillbilly BBQ consisted of three inseparable elements, those being alcohol, tobacco and firearms. Times have changed and a fourth inseparable element has long been involved. I'm speaking, of course, of the mullet."
Until now there has been no regulation on who may possess a mullet, nor any kind of mullet registration. Many have complained of the dangers this has presented. An Akron Ohio woman tells Glossy News, "I am always worried when my son goes to visit his father. His father has a friend with a mullet and I never know when he'll be coming around with that thing, and that's just not safe around children."
Although mullets and cocaine were both very popular in the 1980's, it was believed with the crackdown on cocaine trafficking, that the mullet would soon die out. Largely that belief was correct, but the few remaining strongholds are determined to fight this new regulation.
King County Sheriff James Morgan tells us that there are "...areas where mullets remain a serious problem, typically about fifty to a hundred miles outside of any major city."
Bobbies have always dis-trusted the mullet-men, now that they support our war effort, we support their fashion police.
Police are now sharing profiles they have put together in past years. These files name specific mullet militants as well as those factories, or salons as they call themselves, where the mullets themselves are created."Many agricultural towns are going to see their mullet dealers disappearing. They have not been specifically outlawed at this time, but it is important to regulate their quantity and distribution, as well as collect a fashion tax on those willfully possessing them."
President Bush has been under growing pressure from the UN in recent years to put a stop to the growing mullet epidemic, even though there is no risk of it spreading beyond US borders. This move is only the first of many steps needed in order to comply.
Our reporters were able to find a man with a mullet at the swap meet, just by looking at his hair. When asked his opinion of the new regulations he replied, "You ax me what I think? Plain dumb, expecially since my girl loves it so good."
